Pheaturing Laurie O'Brien

 

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Friday... how are you? Before we start I have an announcement to make. As you probably know next year is the 15th anniversary of the Phile. That 15th will be the last year of the Phile. So, in about a years time this little blog will come to an end. That doesn't mean I won't be blogging... depends how things go I still have some other ideas, so don't get too upset. There's still a whole year to go of this thing. Okay, let's get started. Rudy Giuliani was having a meltdown over the 2020 presidential election results, but it wasn’t just because he was freaking out during the press conference. While he was obviously agitated while expanding on the now disproved allegations of widespread voter fraud, he wasn’t just mentally and emotionally melting down. In fact, the Internet went insane because he looked like he was physically melting down as well. As president elect Joe Biden won the 2020 presidential election over President Donald Trump, Giuliani was speaking form the Republican National Committee headquarters in Washington, D.C. Forty minutes into him taking questions from reporters, weird, dark liquid started to literally stream down the side of his face, impossible to ignore. As the Internet went wild over what they thought was a bad hair dye job, several Manhattan hairdressers told the New York Times that that was likely not the case for Trump’s personal lawyer. As the leader of Trump’s legal team went on and on about the alleged election fraud during this news conference, you really can’t help but see the hair dye dripping down the side of Giuliani’s face. However, according to David Kholdorov of the Men’s Lounge Barbershop and Spa, on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, “Hair dye doesn’t drip like that, unless it’s just been applied.” Kholdorov continued to explain that, “hair dye is typically mixed with peroxide during the dyeing process, and that once the solution oxidizes, the color adheres to the hair. No one would leave the solution in place in its raw form, he said, because the solution would irritate the scalp and could burn the hair or cause it to fall out.” But maybe Trump’s personal attorney and the former mayor of New York decided he needed a more fresh look with some new sideburns? It doesn’t help that people on Twitter and social media decided to start comparing the former New York City Mayor to My Cousin Vinny as he ranted, “The recount in Georgia will tell us nothing because these fraudulent ballots will just be counted again.” Mirko Vergani, the creative color director at the Drawing Room, a salon in downtown Manhattan, believes that Giuliani was trying to use mascara or a touch-up pen to make his sideburns match, but that maybe Giuliani should’ve waited until the makeup dried first or avoided the hot weather somehow. Regardless, Giuliani has been in the spotlight for the wrong reasons, maybe one to many times this year. Earlier this month, he was in the parking lot of a Four Seasons Total Landscaping, a Philadelphia landscaping company next to a crematory and a pornography shop in Pennsylvania, explaining how he had done nothing wrong in his appearance in Sacha Baron Cohen’s Borat sequel. He can keep trying to help support Trump’s efforts in subverting the Electoral College process, but he probably needs to clean up himself up a little bit, or else the American people and the United States will continue to discredit him even more.

A woman took to social media to read the now painfully ironic New Year’s Resolutions she wrote at the end of 2019, before knowing that COVID would hit, and couldn’t help but drink wine and laugh instead of cry at everything she ended up not being able to accomplish (which was… everything). Where to begin. Basically everything this woman wanted to do went horribly wrong thanks to the pandemic hitting. Maybe the lesson here is never set goals? Or maybe it’s just representative of, “If you want to make God laugh tell him your plans.” We’ll be optimistic and say the latter. Regardless, this woman ended up not achieving anything she set out to achieve. Cry less? Nope. See friends more? Nope. Kick bad habits and get some good habits? Eat less junk food and achieve some measure of weight loss? Improve mental health? LOLOLOL! This was no year for personal growth or self-improvement. Not even in small steps. You might have learned who you are, but you probably didn’t like that. But, of course, by far the most hysterical and tragic resolution was that this woman wanted to visit her grandma, which she cannot, because her grandma died this year. (Though she doesn’t say whether or not it was from coronavirus. Don’t feel bad, America. We all failed this year. It wasn’t our fault. What the hell were we supposed to do? Even successful people had a crap year. So commiserate with this woman. Or, better yet, laugh with her. Because this might be the best video about 2020 that I’ve seen.  

A 10-year-old boy in Riverton, Utah was caught on his family’s Ring doorbell camera video desperately attempting to escape a kidnapper that had followed him home from basketball practice. The boy’s mother posted about her son Grayden’s nightmare near-kidnapping. 

Ultimately the mother’s Facebook post was shared nearly 700 times by concerned parents and citizens. All in all a scary situation that, fortunately, did not end anywhere near as horribly as it could. Credit to the parents for raising such a smart, brave kid, Grayden for having the wherewithal to do exactly what he needed to, and the neighbors for taking him in until his parents got home.

As if the 2020 presidential election couldn’t get any messier, Bette Midler decided to give her unwarranted opinion with a very blatant and loud comment towards White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany. The Hollywood actress told McEnany to “go fuck herself,” as a reaction towards McEnany tweeting the news that the Wayne County Board of Canvasser’s decided to decline to certify their portion of the Michigan vote in the presidential election. Yikes. Midler also took a shot at McEnany’s degree from Harvard Law, tweeting, “With all due respect, Kayleigh, go fuck yourself. IMHO, Harvard has a lot to answer for.” I don’t think there’s a need to preface the comment “with all due respect,” but hey, the power of free speech, am I right? Initially, the Wayne County Board of Canvassers had declined to certify its portion of the Michigan vote in the midst of a 2-2 deadlock decision, after 200 sworn affidavits of alleged fraud were turned in. However, the board surprisingly and suddenly decided to certify the count in demanding that Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson conduct a “comprehensive audit.” So what happened? Apparently a video emerged showing Democrat Abraham Aiyash doxing the children of Republican chairwoman Monica Palmer, accusing her of enabling and perpetuating “the racist history of the country.” He appeared to be doxing her children by suggesting that they attend a certain elementary school on a public Zoom meeting. McEnany had commented on the situation, saying that the board members were essentially coerced in changing their decision, in fear of being painted as racists by Democrats. McEnany, fighting for the Trump campaign and for President Donald Trump, was responding to a tweet by Michigan Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib that said, “It’s plain and simple, folks. The Republican members of the Wayne County Board of Canvassers put politics above their duty to our residents. Suggesting that all of Wayne County can be certified, EXCEPT for Detroit, is horrifying racist and a subversion of our democracy.” With accusations of election fraud and voter fraud prevalent, McEnany replied, “Last night the Wayne County Board of Canvassers refused to certify the election results, citing irregularities (which are documented in 234 pages of affidavits) Then came the typical barrage of leftist threats & cries of racism from the Squad, the failed Governor, and others…” As if things weren’t on edge between Trump supporters who wanted President Trump back in office and those who are more than ecstatic that Joe Biden is set to become the new president of the United States, we’ve got Midler attacking people in the government once again with no explanation why she says such abrasive things. Earlier this year, she had called First Lady Melania Trump, an “illegal alien with bad English,” that she has since apologized for. 

Wow, talk about a true hero. You know how they say that sometimes we don’t give enough credit to doctors, will this Chinese doctor is definitely an example of that. He had to think quick on his feet when a passenger on a flight suffered a medical emergency. Zhang Hong, who is a surgeon from the first affiliated hospital of Jinan University in Guangzhou, saved an elderly man by literally sucking the urine from the traveler’s blocked bladder. Yes, this man basically drank someone else’s pee. Talk about a true MVP. Y’all doctors better step it up. The doctor was flying from Guangzhou to New York on China Southern Airlines flight 399 and was still six hours away from their destination when he decided to spring into action. The passenger was sweating and had a swollen stomach and had been diagnosed with an enlarged prostate, which the doctor suspected was causing a blockage. The doctor said the passenger was going into shock, and his life was at risk which is why he needed to attend to him urgently. That’s when the flight attendant decided to set up blankets on the floor in an area towards the back of the plane. Zhang and another physician who was on board, Xiao Zhanxiang from Hainan Provincial People’s Hospital in Haikou, quickly fashion a makeshift catheter out of a plastic tube from an oxygen mask, tape, a syringe needle from the aircraft’s medical kit, and straws from milk cartons. Unfortunately, the needle on the device was too small to drain the urine. After experiencing difficulties in easing the pressure of the man’s bladder, the doctor stepped in and sucked out the urine himself. He reportedly spent 37 minutes draining approximately 800ml of urine from the man’s bladder. Footage of the life-saving act, which went viral on social media, showed Zhang literally spitting into an empty wine bottle as a siphoned the urine using his mouth. Upon landing, another physician then looked at the elderly passenger to make sure he was okay, but this doctor definitely deserves all the credit he can get for saving this man’s life. I mean… this man drank pee. Sure he spit it out, but at the end of the day, we all know that it must have gotten past his throat someway somehow. Yup, give this doctor a metal.  

Did you know salad's are funny? This woman's said must be... 

Could that pic be anymore out of focus? Haha. NFL teams this year are changing their logos, like this one for instance...

It is whatever. Did you ever watch the "Antique Roadshow"? You never know what you are gonna see on that show...

I was thinking of getting a new tattoo but someone had the same idea I had...

If I had a TARDIS I would go see Elvis Presley in concert in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in 1957 but my focus would be on this woman...

Actually I think that's a teenager. She's really into the show though, right? The dynamics in families who reject their LGBTQ family members can be next to impossible to navigate. A Phile reader found himself in precisely this sort of predicament when his sister tried to lecture him. So, he took his dilemma to the the Phile for feedback...

"Am I wrong for telling my sister to stop using the word family on me like it’s supposed to mean something? I was kicked out at 15 for being gay. From 15 to 35 I had no contact with my family. Over the years they have somehow managed to work their way back into my life. Only in a small capacity. My sister who is younger than me called earlier and asked what me and my husband were doing for Thanksgiving. I told her that it was just us and that we were just going to have a nice dinner and probably watch TV for the night. And go to bed early. She told me that she was having dinner and that we need to show up. I told her thank you but this was the first set of holidays in ten years that I didn’t have to host and I was planning on staying home and just putting on a fresh pair of pajamas after a shower and not going anywhere. She then asked about Christmas and I told her the same thing. She then asked when it would be a good time to get together. I told her point blank that I wasn’t all that interested given our history and that I was perfectly happy with how things were at this point. This was when she got pissed off and started to yell at me saying that I need to start acting more a part of the family and that I need to let go of the past. She told me that we as ‘family’ need to try and bridge the gap and move forward in a positive way. I told her no we don’t. We hardly know each other. We are very much strangers. I also told her she needs to stop throwing the word family around like it is supposed to mean something to me. When we started to talk again when I was 35 when our dad died her and my brother constantly berated me and told me that I need to just let them deal with everything that needed to be done. I never disagreed with them. I told them that they could handle it. I was berated when our mother was sick for not visiting her in the hospital or when she was home. I really don’t have much of a relationship with my mom and she is a pretty good stranger as well so it didn’t really matter. I threw everything back in her face. Before we hung up she reminded me that it wasn’t my husband’s blood that runs through my body. And blood is thicker than water. I told her no. My husband’s blood did not in fact run through my body. But his semen did and that was close enough. I thought my husband was going to wet his pants. So am I wrong for telling my sister to stop using the word family like it means something?” Technically semen IS thicker than blood or water soooo. The last paragraph made me bust out laughing. No, you’re not wrong. She lost the ability to call you family when she abandoned you with the rest of them. Enjoy your pajama Thanksgiving (frankly, it’s the best way to spend the holidays). Let me know how it goes, and have a good Thanksgiving. If you have a problem you want my advice on then email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com.

If you spot the Mindphuck then let me know. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, New York, shall we?

Looks like a beautiful evening in Port Jeff, right? 

Mike Pence and Barron Trump joyfully look on as EPA head Scott Pruitt releases CFC's into the atmosphere. 

Gloves

Hand socks

The word “fat” just looks like someone took a bite out of the first letter of the word “eat."

The 140th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Jane Fonda will be on the Phile in a few weeks. 

Today's guest is an American actress, who is best known for voicing Baby Piggy on the 1980s Saturday morning cartoon "Jim Henson's Muppet Babies" from 1984-1991. Please welcome to the Phile... Laurie O'Brien.

Me: Hey, Laurie, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Laurie: I'm good. It's amazing to be here. 

Me: I wouldn't go that far. Haha. I am a huge Muppets fan, but kinda half and half watched the Muppet Babies show back in the 80s. I think I might've seen the newer shows episodes more than the originals, but I do like the concept. When people find out you did the voice of Miss Piggy on the show how do they react? 

Laurie: When somebody finds out I was Piggy on a social when I'm out some place, somebody will say something and I will do the voice. Someone who watched Muppet Babies all the time would know I'm not doing an imitation of her but I am her because their face would just change miraculously into this sweetness, and they would just go back to being 5-years-old. I could see the depth of the meaning that it had to be there. It's an amazing thing to been able to do. 

Me: Laurie, what was your childhood like a kid? 

Laurie: I had a great childhood. I had a mother and a father and a sister who is four and half years older than me. Because of that, the age difference between my sister and me, I was alone a lot because she wasn't a sister who played with me. But there was a lot of love in my family. 

Me: Did you watch a lot of TV back then? 

Laurie: We didn't have a television until I was five I think. The big thing on television that we watched, that my sister loved, was Howdy Doody. The children's programming at that time was just so precious and lovely. Like Mr. Rogers. Although I was not a Mr. Rogers fan and I was older when he came back but it was in that thing. Bozo the Clown, the Magic Mirror... I didn't get sat in front of the television a lot. But I did have the experience of it. 

Me: So, the TV you washed back then was black and white, right? Do you remember when it went to color? 

Laurie: You'll love this, when we wanted color they out this orange plexiglass or a piece of plastic or something over it to make it color. It was just orangeade dark orange. It was hysterical. What was that about? 

Me: I never heard of such a thing. Do you have any original Muppet Babies toys, Laurie? I don't have anything. 

Laurie: Yeah, I have the original McDonald's Muppet Babies toys in my studio. I do a lot of artwork. I have Fozzie sitting on a rocking horse and Piggy is in a car. 

Me: So, how did you get involved in voice over? 

Laurie: Well, it was kind of a flukey thing. I came to Los Angeles from Denver and in Denver I did some voice overs. I worked with books for the blind, I volunteered my time and I used to read novels. I painstakely worked my way through this 600 page novels for the Blind Institute. I guess that's what it was. When I moved to Los Angeles there was no way that was going to happen, you just don't dive into the voice over business. But I landed a play in 1981 or something, about a year after I got to Los Angeles, which I played a schizophrenic. It was called Mary Barnes. I had done a lot of work in Denver with theater workshops with people in mental institutions so I had a lot of experience with this. I was big fish in a small pond there and I came to Los Angeles to be an actor. So I did this play and Herb Cannon, one of the hottest, best agents in Los Angeles came and saw that play and was really effected by it and wrote me a letter saying I changed his life with my portrayal and that he would be interested to see anything that I would ever do again. Then I went to see a place someplace and Herb happened to be in the audience and he recognized me and again he said anything I do he wants to see it. It just so happens I was doing a comedy right after that at the Los Angeles Theater Company. I thought that would be a really good thing to see after that dramatic thing that I done. So he came and he wrote me another letter, then he called me afterwards and said, "You know, I just believe that you can do anything. Do you do voice overs?" I said, "No, never have, not really." He said, "Well, I'd like to be a kind of patreon for you in the sense that I want to take you on as my client and I want to send you out for voice overs." 

Me: So, what was the first voice over role you tried out for? 

Laurie: The first voice over role he sent me out for was for Hanna-Barbera and it was to do the voices of animals on screen with funny voices. If I recall the audition correctly I was so far out my comfort zone that I just alternated from low to high voices. I was just in my estimation horrible, but apparently I was good enough to get two call backs for it. I didn't get any jobs but that was very encouraging because I was doing more than la-la-la'ing up and down the scale. At that time I walked around telling people in a little girl's voice, "Oh, I love to be around you, you're just the sweetest person in the world. I'm going to make a million dollars of this voice right here." That was just a thing I did, not knowing what I was doing. 

Me: So, how did you end up getting to do Miss Piggy on "Jim Henson's Muppet Babies?" 

Laurie: Skipping ahead, I was doing a one woman show that I had written and I got a phone called from Herb that said, "Hi, Laurie, do you know how to do Miss Piggy as a child?" And I said, "I hadn't thought about it but I suppose I could try." He said, "Good, because I just lied and said you could do that and three other voices. You have an audition tomorrow at 10 a.m." I said, "I'm doing rehearsals, and I don't really know who the Muppets are." I didn't have a VCR at the time because I was really involved in the theater. He said, "No, you misunderstand me, you will go tomorrow, I said you will be there." So I canceled my rehearsal and went to the local video store and I picked up The Muppet Movie and I took it over to a friends house with my tape recorder and I watched the movie and I grabbed some places where she spoke really clearly. I just put a few of them together and I added that little girl's voice and I just combined the two and I would listen to the tape and imitated in that voice then I took that tape with me to the audition. Hank Saroyan and Bob Richardson were there, some of the coolest people, and when I started to lose the voice they would say, "You're losing it, listen to the tape." So I would listen to the tape again then come back and finish the script. That's how I got it, there were a lot of people that I auditioned, 750 or something around there. 

Me: How can you not know anything about the Muppets, Laurie?! They weren't new then! 

Laurie: Yes, I didn't know the Muppets, which is crazy. Of course the Muppets were huge but I was a little confused whether they were "Sesame Street," I didn't know the difference and it's a terrible thing but it's the truth. 

Me: That's crazy, Laurie. So, I told this story before on the Phile, I met Jim Henson while they were filming "Muppets Go to Walt Disney World," when I worked at Epcot. He asked me personally to move a trash can on top of a hill for a scene with Gonzo. What was Henson like in person for you? 

Laurie: Brilliant. A brilliant man and again a generous soul. So creative and a present person. I remember one of the most precious things was the first gathering as the Muppet Babies and Frank Oz and Jim Henson both were there, and I worried but by that time I got the job and was very informed about Jim and Frank and the Muppets and so forth. It was pretty odd what was happening to me, the great honor I had to take on this character, she was already an established character and so I had a certain amount of respect and responsibility to not change what has been established. Something about what these people have done has made it right and I wanted to be true to the character. Jim adored Hank and really in front if everybody gave to over and said, "Look, I trust you, I trust all of you." That's what they both did, they said, "This is yours, go with it. Be yourselves, bring to it what you have in your heart and soul and make the characters your own." With that cross communication, our commitment to them, their commitment to us, I think that's one of the thing that made the Muppet Babies so great. 

Me: I was lucky enough to interview Frank Oz on the Phile a few years ago. Did you enjoy working on the show? 

Laurie: Muppet Babies I still think are so unique. I could tell you with my experience working with everybody, all of my acting partners and directors and producers, they there was just heart and spirt and humanity involved. We got along so well as a groupie as an assemble. There was so much laughter and friendship involved in the production that can't help but come through. That's the reason we made such an impact. It was so popular because of what went on in our recording of it. And also the besting that Jim Henson gave us. 

Me: So, what was it like recording and working with the cast? 

Laurie: Our sessions were long, we had to block out all day sessions and we were paid by the day, not paid by the hour so it did not make any difference. Laughter was the main ingredient, and of course laughter is healing and it was supposed to be funny. The thing that was so great about it was parents, adults, could watch our show and be involved with it. 

Me: Have you seen the new Disney "Muppet Babies"? 

Laurie: I haven't, no. What is it like? 

Me: It's a different feel but I like it. There's this penguin named Summer I think. I wonder what happened to her when she grew, why she isn't around. Hahaha. Do any of the stories stick out about any of the episodes for you? 

Laurie: No, but what really sticks out was the song that I sang about being a star. "Turn up the spotlight, let everybody see, I know what you really want, me, me, me!" I'm not sure what episode that was but I remember thre song. It was a great solo. The songs in this thing were just incredible. I tell you, standing up there and doing those songs or doing this at all and I just go I'm the most blessed person in the world. I'm being paid to play, to just do this, to be a pig. People used to say that to, "Hey, pig, come over here and sit down with me." 

Me: After Muppet Babies you stopped doing voice overs, is that something you want to do more of if you can? 

Laurie: I would always do that, and I still do voice overs. Right now I'm doing this on-going teaching for medical things. I don't have a particular distinctive voice. I don't have a naturally young, youthful voice, I have to manipulate it. There's so many fabulous people that could do that and continue to do that. Right around the time I dropped out of doing voice over business, I was doing a lot of theater and I had one job in particular that lasted for a couple of years. I took me out of town and I traveled. Once anyone drops out of the loop, you kind of drop put of that loop. 

Me: That's understandable. Laurie, thanks so much for being on the Phile. I hope this was fun. 

Laurie: Thanks, Jason, you're such a sweetheart.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Laurie for a fun interview. The Phile will be back on Tuesday with musician Steve Earle. Monday is my birthday and I'm not doing a birthday entry this year. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Kiss your brain.

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon