Pheaturing Matt Schultz From Cage The Elepehant

 

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Tuesday. How are you? A man with some eyebrow-raising hobbies and habits was spotted on a security camera removing a Joe Biden campaign sign wearing nothing but his disdain for the Democratic nominee. The video, out of Albuquerque, New Mexico, shows the homeowner’s Biden-Harris sign sitting in the front yard of a home in the middle of the night when, out of the darkness, a supporter of Republican President Donald Trump (at least presumably), saunters up to it completely naked and starts to yank… at the sign. The sort of yanking that only ends up being a misdemeanor, fortunately. After a couple of tries the man is able to pull the sign out of the ground. He then wanders back off into the darkness to do God knows what with the sign. It’s actually presumptuous to assume this political sign was stolen by a Trump supporter. What if this is a Democrat and Biden supporter who wanted to promote who he wants to win the 2020 presidential election while high on PCP? A Trump campaign supporter who was tweaking out would want to show off with a Trump sign, wouldn’t they? Rep their presidential candidate. All I can say for sure is that whether this guy is a member of the Democratic party or the Republican party, in New Mexico, tweakers walk between the aisles. Or maybe this guy just has a super weird appreciation for Kamala Harris. It’s tough to get inside the mind of a man on his 68th hour of a cleaning supply and cold medicine induced blackout. Is this suppression of free speech? Or is this perhaps nothing more than an extremely New Mexico version of Freedom of Speech? Regardless, the naked vandalism cost Former Vice President Joe Biden one extra sign in New Mexico, and as the completely airtight and flawless theory goes, if you can’t see Joe Biden signs everywhere, is anyone actually voting for Joe Biden? 

Bad news "Home Improvement" fans, star Zachery Ty Bryan was arrested late Friday night for allegedly choking a woman that he had been in a relationship with. According to the Eugene Police Department, police were called to a North Eugene apartment Friday night after someone reported a physical dispute. When officers arrived at the scene they found Ty Bryan sitting outside of an apartment. According to an arrest report, the 27-year-old victim was in a relationship with Bryan and was waiting for police at a neighbor’s apartment. An investigation then found that during the dispute, the Hollywood star assaulted the victim, impeded her breathing, and had taken the victim’s phone from when she tried to call 911. The victim, whose name has not been released, declined any medical assistance. Brian was quickly booked into custody in Oregon at 1:01 a.m. on Saturday morning according to a booking report from the Lane County Jail. The actor was pictured grinning in his mugshot, which was released by the Sheriff’s Office. The actor faces charges of strangulation, and two additional misdemeanor charges, a fourth-degree assault and interfering with making a report. According to TMZ, the actor was released Saturday night on an $8,500 cash bail and there has been issued a no-contact order, which is typical after a domestic violence arrest. He is required to stay away from the victim and can contact her in any way. 

As one of the more horrifying stories that can come from remote learning caused by COVID-19, you can’t help but wonder what the right decision is anymore when it comes to deciding whether kids should be physically back in school or not. Many challenges have surfaced in online learning, but incidents like this one really emphasize the need and call for action to somehow improve conditions while students are forced to learn from home. A teacher witnessed a horrible situation during her e-learning session when she heard her first graders talking over their Google Meets session. According to Cook County prosecutors, she heard, “What is going on? What is happening?” in the midst of a silent pause in her class. When the teacher opened up her screen, she saw one of her students, a 7-year-old girl, being assaulted. The teacher immediately yelled at the other students to log off. The girl’s microphone was muted, and she called the girl’s name to tell her to turn off her camera, to which the abuser, 18-year-old Catrell Walls, picked up the laptop and closed it. The girl’s teacher immediately reported what she had witnessed to the school’s principal, who then called the girl’s family, the Chicago police, and authorities from the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services. The girl was apparently staying at her grandmother’s house in a West Chesterfield neighborhood during the school day, and Walls was a relative of hers. The girl’s father, the school principal, and the school’s chief executive officer went to the girl’s home to ask her what happened. At first, the girl explained that Walls had just hit her. But then, when the principal spoke to her alone, she described the sexual assault, also explaining that it had happened before. She was then taken to Comer Children’s Hospital to be examined. The next day, Walls, a Chicago man from the South Side, was arrested and interviewed by detectives, and he admitted to what the class had seen on video, according to the Chicago Sun-Times. He also admitted to committing multiple sexual acts to the girl since she was 6-years-old. He apparently broke down in tears, telling officers, “I don’t know why, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” His defense attorney is arguing that because Walls has been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, his ability to control his impulses is impaired. Walls has been out of jail on bail following a previous felony charge of unlawful use of a weapon. And now he faces a felony count of predatory criminal sexual assault of a victim. Judge Charles Beach said, “This ongoing history of assault, for approximately a year, according to the victim, leads me to believe this is not something that will just stop because I have ordered it to. This history and his actions from this case lead me to believe that he is a threat to an individual and the community as a whole.” Chicago Public Schools CEO Janice Jackson said, “This situation is definitely disturbing and something that has been unsettling to me personally since I heard about it. But I also think it just makes me more committed to seeing our kids back in school, under the watchful eyes of their teachers who care for them deeply.” 

In a hilarious turn of events, the Department of Justice is suing Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, the former friend and former adviser (unpaid) of Melania Trump, for violating a nondisclosure agreement, asking that she turn over all the profits earned from her book to a government trust. The lawsuit reads, “The United States seeks to hold Ms. Wolkoff to her contractual and fiduciary obligations and to ensure that she is not unjustly enriched by her breach of the duties she freely assumed when she served as an advisor to the First Lady. Ms. Wolkoff’s service facilitated her access to significant confidential information related to the First Lady’s official duties as well as to the more private aspects of her role in the First Family, along with indirect access to deliberative information, to which the First Lady was privy, related to the President’s official duties on behalf of the country. The United States accordingly seeks an order establishing a constructive trust on any profits obtained by Defendant from the disclosure of information in, or dissemination of, Melania and Me.” Wolkoff, the author of Melania and Me: The Rise and Fall of My Friendship with the First Lady, published the tell-all book in exposing First Lady Melania Trump, making the New York Times’ bestseller list even before it was published. According to the NYPost, Melania’s spokeswoman said, “The book is not only full of mistruths and paranoia, it is based on some imagined need for revenge.” DOJ spokeswoman Kerri Kupec also explained that the federal suit filed in Washington, D.C., “was a contract with the United States and therefore enforceable by the United States,” and the Trump administration is threatening to sue over the book as well. However, Wolkoff has denied breaking any sort of nondisclosure pact and also explained that she’s working with First Amendment lawyers to back her up. In a personal statement, Wolkoff says, “The President and First Lady’s use of the Department of Justice to silence me is a violation of my First Amendment Rights and a blatant abuse of the government to pursue their own personal interests and goals. I fulfilled all of the terms of the Gratuitous Service Agreement and the confidentiality provisions ended when the White House terminated the agreement. With the publication of my book, Melania and Me: The Rise and Fall of My Friendship with The First Lady, I have exercised my right to free expression. I will not be deterred by these bullying tactics.” I don’t mean to be insensitive when it comes to stuff like this, but the irony is just too good to pass up. To sue for Wolkoff’s book of supposedly classified information as a reaction to the book feels more like a defense mechanism as opposed to actually serving justice to someone doing something wrong. Now, I haven’t read the book, but such information seems more like gossip than breach of contract. There are more pressing matters regarding President Donald Trump that deserve the attention of the public than stuff like this. But that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve a good laugh.

The playing of the National Anthem and the beginning of sporting events seems to be synonymous in the United States, but some have questioned as to simply why it’s necessary. When you think about it, the correlation between a football game and patriotism of the country does seem a bit disjointed. Now, some are questioning the point of a military flyover. Though it’s a spectacular sight to behold and a reminder of the might of the U.S. Military and does provide new pilots with flying hours to log, Joe Buck and Troy Aikman are among some wondering if it’s truly worth of spending tens of thousands of dollars and helping pollute the atmosphere in order for a literal split second of awe at a sporting event. Prior to kickoff at Sunday’s Bucs-Packers game, FOX broadcasters were caught on a hot mic questioning the display, even mocking it at one point. Aikman: That’s a lot of jet fuel just to do a little flyover. Buck: That’s your hard-earned money and your tax dollars at work! Aikman: That stuff ain’t happening with [a] Kamala-Biden ticket. I’ll tell you that right now, partner." In other football news, Cowboys fans really going through it right now… The outlook on the 2020 season was bleak as soon as Dak Prescott went down with an obvious season-ending ankle injury during Week 5, but after one week minus their QB, it’s somehow even bleaker. After a 38-10 beatdown on "Monday Night Football" at the hands of the Cardinals, a Cowboys fan was seen being consoled by his girl while crying in the stands.  

Awe. Poor baby. 

Speaking of football, some teams are changing their logos this year. For example, check out the Titans' new logo...

Yesterday I had Tom Kenny on the Phile, the voice of SpongeBob SquarePants. I mentioned the new movie is CGI. Well, the next movie will be live action and here is a sneak preview of what to expect...

Ewwww. Creepy. Hahaha. Did you know YouTube has been around for years? No? Check this old ad out...

See what I mean? Hahaha. Do you like pizza rolls? I don't, but I do know you should not eat them if they're too hot.

See? Hahaha. Man, is the Phile getting lamer of what? Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...

Top Phive Things Said By Parents About The Things People Who Don't Have Kids Don't Understand

5. The biggest lie you've ever heard a non-parent tell themselves? "I wouldn't let having kids change my lifestyle. They'll just have to fit in around me." Classic. 

4. Non parent: my house is kind of messy. I need to sort my mail. Parent: Last night we lost a chair. 

3. Non-parent: So what do you like to do in you spare time. Me: Spare time? 

2. Non-parent: There's poop on my hand??!! I can't wash it enough! Should I bleach it? Should I boil it?? Aaarrrggghhh! Parent: There's poop on my hand? Yup. Normal Thursday. 

And the number one thing said by a parent about the things people who don't have kids don't understand is...

1. A dog year is equal to 7 people years just as a parent year is equal to 7 non-parent years. It's science. 

Hard to believe we're 7 months into a pandemic that has killed over a million people and some people are still like "I won't wear a mask, because FREEDOM." And yet, we must believe it. Because COVIDiocy is an epidemic as widespread as the virus itself. "COVIDiots" are tough to reason with. Especially because their mere maskless existence could literally kill you if you try to talk to them IRL. So if you encounter one in the wild, the best and safest thing you can do is post about it. Internet-shaming may be our best tool against this particularly dangerous strain of human stupidity. 

Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, shall we?

Looks like a dreary day there, right? 

The person who would proof read Hitler’s speeches was a grammar Nazi.

Not the best one, but if you spot the Mindphuck let me know. 

The 138th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Jerry will be on the Phile next week. It's gonna be good. Also next week...

I will tell you who the two guests will be at the end of this entry. Now do you want to laugh? 

A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers." 

Today's guest is is an American singer, songwriter, and musician best known as the lead singer and occasional guitarist for the American rock band Cage the Elephant whose latest album "Social Cues" is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Matt Schultz.

Me: Matt, welcome to the Phile! I'm such a big fan of Cage The Elephant. How are you? 

Matt: I'm good, it's my birthday in a few days so I'm good. .

Me: Cool. Happy early birthday. So, I never saw you guys in concert in person but I did see videos of you... and you leapt off the stage. Ever get hurt doing that? 

Matt: Actually our first tour ever was with the Queens of Stone Age, it was in Toronto where it kicked off because the only thing we had going for us at the time we had a publishing deal through a Canadian publishing company so they thought that we were Canadian. They said they needed an opening act, so let's get Cage The Elephant. So they took us on tour and the guys were making some noise to get the audience ready. Of course no one knows us and I ran out pretty ambitious to take the crowd and just jumped before even singing and as I'm in the air I'm looking down and I see two red cups and every persons hand up, not knowing they gave out two free beers to every single audience member. So, yeah, the sea of red cups parted. 

Me: Did they catch you? 

Matt: No. 

Me: So you hit the ground? 

Matt: Yeah. I hit so hard I think my shoe flew off or something. On that same tour it was laundry day so I was going commando and I had one little hole in the crotch of the pants I was wearing and I climbed atop the speaker stack and two songs in my pants turned into chaps. 

Me: Ugh! Yikes. So, what did you say or do?

Matt: I said don't blame me, I'm Canadian. 

Me: Are you ever afraid when you jump off a three story balcony? I would not even think twice about doing anything like that. 

Matt: The adrenaline takes over and I don't feel that fear. 

Me: So, where does the trust come from where you think you're gonna be caught by the audience? 

Matt: I don't know where the trust comes from. I guess somewhere. 

Me: Okay, I love your latest album "Social Cues," Matt. The song "Ready to Let Go" is so cool. Ready to let go of what? What is the story behind that song? 

Matt: I guess the idea for the song was formed with the idea when I took a trip to Pompeii with my ex-wife and I think things were kinda unraveling at that point. I just remember also at that same time period my cousin had passed away who was my best friend in high school and another one of my friends had taken his own life and different things that had happened. So I'm sitting there and looking at the cast of these of these people's physical forms, that they've been cased in ash and created a cast of themselves and these statutes and I was really remember relating to that. I was like, shit, I feel like this person. 

Me: So you felt stuck too? 

Matt: Yeah, I definitely felt I was harboring not necessary a secret but holding something's inside that made me feel frozen within the situation. I went back to the place where we were staying that night and stayed up. We were at an AirBnB overlooking the water and just started playing and wrote the beginnings of what became the song. 

Me: With your ex-wife nearby? That's not easy, right? 

Matt: I don't think it's something that's readily available at the forefront of my mind when I'm in it. Like when I'm swimming in a large body of water I'm not thinking necessary about something that is far off or even directly so I was just immersed in it. It didn't feel as difficult to write the material as the situation itself felt difficult. 

Me: Was it therapeutic to you to write like this? 

Matt: Yeah, for sure. I mean whenever I'm making a record or writing material I'm always looking for something. I'm always looking for a sincerity that first of I can believe in. Then if I can get to a sincere place hopefully that transfers to the music and I could find something in the music that I obsess over... in a good way and surprise myself with it. 

Me: Do you worry who might hear it when you're playing it? 

Matt: I have those moments. I think as time goes on and I continue to work at it hopefully that "voice" will work it, being in the creative works. Hopefully that voice gets quieter and quieter. Maybe it never gets quieter but I don't pay as much attention to it. 

Me: I don't mean worrying about people criticizing your work... 

Matt: No, I mean that as well. 

Me: Ahhhh. Okay. Just the idea I wrote this about somebody, they could hear it, you try to immerse yourself in the art of it and hopefully that will go away? 

Matt: Yeah. Something Isaac Brock said at one time. He said, "If you're terrified to sing it you're probably on the right path." 

Me: That's a great line. Okay, so, I try to not ask about videos bands or artists put out as I don't show videos here but I have to show a screenshot of the video for "Ready to Let Go." 

Me: What's happening here, Matt? 

Matt: I'm always looking fore the visual personality that pairs well with the music. And myself I'm always looking for metaphorical vehicles of those narratives. 

Me: So what's the blood the metaphor for? 

Matt: Blood's been a strong symbol I think throughout human history. Some of the words that come to mind are betrayal, redemption, love, hate, so it's pretty provoking. Did you like the video? 

Me: Yeah, but it was a little too gory for me... with those other people eating that nasty cake. But then I show some pretty sick stuff here on Thursday's for Throw-Up Thursday if I post on a Thursday so I can't really say anything. Your video is fake, the gross pics I show are real. Haha. 

Matt: It's funny you say it's too gory, but you should've seen me talking to the label. "Then we're gonna shave a sheep." They were like what? 

Me: Haha. Why a sheep? 

Matt: They have another strong symbol of innocence. A lot of it was trying to find some really powerful metaphors. 

Me: So, how is the video related to the song about your divorce and your friends dying? 

Matt: There are times in life where we worship the idea of being in love and maybe loving the person much more than they should be loved. That's pretty transparent of something's I failed at and so there was a lot of guilt involved as well. I think that's the idea of going ourselves or feasting ourselves on something maybe should have nurtured more. 

Me: What is it like getting on stage and singing these songs, Matt? 

Matt: I think that everyday brings its own adversities and troubles. And so living in the moment why I'm performing the song I don't have to necessary relive what I already lived. Maybe I'm channeling what's happening at that time to still be present and something that feels genuine and sincere. I think I owe that to the audience. But yeah, I've always felt that was pretty healing to myself. 

Me: Is it healing because you're sharing it with other people? 

Matt: Maybe. Maybe. I think one of the powerful things about music is the communal aspect of it. There are many times I am on stage and I am watching the audience probably way more than they know. Certainly as an audience member myself I'm not thinking about the performer watching me. I don't know, but also I think just revisiting those emotions and spending some time with them helps for some reason. I don't know, maybe I need to go see my therapist and talk about it and figure out what's going on there. 

Me: So, Beck plays on this album. How did that happen? 

Matt: We were both on the same bill in L.A. and we played a show together and we were invited to go back to his dressing room to say hello. So we did and he's a lovely human being, it was a lovely experience. Several months later he came through Nashville and played a show so I went to that show and we reconnected and had another great hang. Then as we were making the record we put together a short list of composers we wanted to do the strong arrangements. A lot of people don't know this but Beck's father is a world renowned composer. So he was on our wish lost and he came back and ended up doing most of the compositions on the record as far strings were concerned. So Beck I guess was just subconsciously in our minds and we were working on a song and had the chorus really happening for us and it was coming along really nice but we didn't know what we were going to do when we approached the verse. So Brad, my brother and I are sitting there pow wowing and talking about what to do and Brad said, "I feel like Beck would know what to do." So we sent the track to him and he was on tour in Asia and I believe in 48 hours he sent back two verses and four alternates. We were like these are good, these are amazing. He's an exceptional talent no doubt, and then just trying to figure out when we would perform the song together on tour came to life. 

Me: That's pretty cool. So, since the band first came out what has been some of the highlights of your career so far, Matt? 

Matt: On the previous album we won a Grammy for the Best Rock Album, we had top billing at some of the rock festivals. Things have gone really well. 

Me: Do you ever get star struck? 

Matt: I certainly get excited. I have not lost that feeling. Every time something happens, even if it's something I might consider small when I've been in this field far a while. To me it still hits me pretty hard. This most recent single, how well it's done, has just blown me away. Twelve plus years in its still working for whatever reason. It's pretty cool. 

Me: Not to mention being on the Phile. Hahaha. Right? 

Matt: Yeah, exactly. This is the crown jewel of any bands career. I had a great time. 

Me: Thanks, Matt, thanks so much for being on the Phile. Please come back again happy birthday. 

Matt: Thanks, Jason. This was fun, man.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Matt Schultz for a cool interview. The Phile will be back on Monday with another Walt Disney World entry with Charles Fleischer and Joanna Cassidy from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. So bloody cool, right? Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Kiss your brain.

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon