Pheaturing Henry Rollins

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Tuesday. How are you? I'm not sure if my ass is sweating or I didn't wipe well enough. Well, this is certainly one interesting and hilarious story. A British man is now facing a 36-month sentence after being caught at Brussels Airport trying to smuggle in some cocaine into Belgium, by hiding it and an artificial penis. Yes, this man said they wouldn’t touch my dildo, but false, police did. I don’t know if to be proud of the police or grossed out by it. According to authorities, the man was arrested on February 8th having traveled to Brussels from Jamaica. He tested positive for cocaine and was taken to the University Hospital of Jette in Brussels for further investigation and drug tests. That’s when police officers and doctors determined the man had indeed consumed some cocaine and had “literally equipped himself with an artificial penis.” Apparently the fake penis had 127g of cocaine. YIKES. The British man said he had been visiting his mom in Jamaica, and that while he was there an acquaintance offered him cocaine. He claimed he decided to take it with him so that he could take some himself, once he arrived home. Unfortunately, the public prosecutor’s office could not confirm if the man had acted on behalf of a drug gang, but it was still very illegal and very, very wrong, so he was sentenced to 36 months to prison. His defense attorneys tried to battle the situation out by asking to suspend the sentence saying he had severe health problems, with his lawyer arguing, “my client has kidney failure and needs to exercise as well as follow a proper diet.” Which I mean, if he suffered from health problems, wouldn’t it be wise to not do any cocaine? That’s just going to enhance your illness, but I guess. The British man, who has yet to be identified, is officially set to be sentenced tomorrow. I don’t know if you have noticed or not, but all these people desperately trying to smuggle in drugs are getting less and less creative. Have we forgotten about the guy who was recently got caught with cocaine under his toupee? Yes, a man actually tried to pass cocaine under his wig. I love dumb people.
Well, it looks like Wyoming received quite some good news this past weekend after one of the first strip clubs reopened with a Masks On, Clothes Off rager to announce how they were practicing the new coronavirus safety distancing guidelines. Yes, basically this strip club is no longer clothed for business. According to owner Kim Chavez, the reopening of The Den in Cheyenne, Wyoming is a risk they’re willing to take. The strip club was able to open alongside the state’s sit-down restaurant and bars guidelines, which is exactly how the business is classified. As part of their opening requirements, dancers must be spotted wearing a face mask to dance, and there are several hand sanitizers available around the bar. That being said, some of the dancers are still receiving cash from visitors, which does mean that germs could still potentially be spread, meaning they are not only risking themselves but other customers. Chavez, who has owned the Wyoming strip club with her husband for more than 15 years, said she was concerned about her employees during the whole coronavirus shut down. She noted, “We knew that once our doors closed, we were screwed until we could reopen. If I’d gotten the PPP I might not have opened today. This is a risk we’re taking… That was the hardest part about being shut: worrying about the girls. It was heartbreaking because you know every girl’s story.” So, although these women are wearing barely-there outfits and bikinis, at least they are taking protection by wearing bandanas, surgical masks, and sanitizing their hands whenever they can. How exactly was the strip club open? Well, according to Wyoming State Health officials, there have been few coronavirus cases which is why the state allowed most businesses to reopen. So, is this the world we live in now? Are strip clubs able to reopen and we can call it a safe day only if dancers are wearing masks and using hand sanitizer after using the poll? What a crazy time. I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.
A British man with an apparent death wish took a prank war he was in the midst of with his wife to near nuclear levels by getting a tattoo of his partner in the least flattering position possible: Asleep, leaning back, and snoring loudly. James McGraw, a 40-year-old window washer from Portsmouth in the United Kingdom, got the tattoo as revenge on his wife, Kelly, because she purposely gave him a terrible haircut. Though the pair have been playing pranks on each other for 24 years, McGraw’s wife believes this one went way too far.

It’s on now, right? Things have been escalated and there’s no going back anymore. If I were McGraw I wouldn’t be able to sleep in the same bed as this woman. I’d be too terrified. For all he knows he’s going to fall asleep next to her and wake up in the O.R., with a doctor she paid off informing him that they had successfully sewed his butthole shut and installed a colostomy bag. Or maybe that they successfully removed four inches off of his penis. Or that pubes will forever grow out of his head now. There are a lot of great surgical prank options that McGraw opened up by permanently altering his body as a prank. Or maybe she’ll just go ahead and get with another dude who doesn’t have a tattoo of her looking like dead livestock on him? It’s not cheating if you say it’s a prank first. Do not try this theory. Someone needs to wave the white flag here or eventually one of these two is going to be driving around with the other in the passenger seat, swerve wildly over a cliff, and scream, “LOL GOTCHA” as they both fall to their deaths.
All Natalie Wynn wanted to do was get on her plane. She had an all-inclusive vacation to get to. She didn’t have time to concern herself with pointless stuff like the weight of her bag. She wasn’t packing weights and kilos of cocaine, after all. So when she got to the airport and attempted to check her bag she was pretty unhappy to find out that her suitcase was nine pounds over the limit for checked bags. She had two options: pay $85 for the overweight bag, or get creative. So Wynn pulled out nine pounds of clothes and put them on. The person sitting next to her probably (definitely) hated her but pretty much everyone else thought it was genius. Apparently, Wynn didn’t want to pay the bag fee because, aside from it being an exorbitant ripoff, she also didn’t have much money with her. The vacation was all-inclusive so she didn’t bring much cash. “I didn’t want to be using the little amount I had just so I could get my bag on the plane,” she told The Sun. “I literally said, ‘I’m not paying it’, and started putting my clothes on… I was boiling, absolutely boiling.” That flight had to be a nightmare for her. Most people feel gross after being on a plane in normal clothes. Wynn was basically cooking herself in germs for God knows how many hours. Hopefully as soon as she got to her hotel she sat in the shower for an hour or two. And also had someone wash at least half of those clothes. The inner half of what she wore no doubt has a nightmarish airplane funk to it now. They smell like B-O, a hastily changed diaper, and hot sneezes. Bag fees are terrible and stupid, that’s the only moral of this story.
After nearly 30 years, it looks like actor Michael Keaton is ready to wear the cape and cowl once again! According to The Wrap, Keaton is in talks to reprise his role as the Dark Knight for Ezra Miller’s Flashpoint movie. It’s still unclear what version Keaton will play, whether he’ll return as Bruce Wayne from the Batman and Batman Returns films or will play a Thomas Wayne version of the character. However, ComicBook.com claims he is going to be a version of Batman. Not only that, but The Hollywood Reporter’s Borys Kit also says Keaton may sign on for multiple DC movies, acting as a mentor figure to other heroes, comparing it to Samuel Jackson’s role as Nick Fury. It seems like the Flashpoint movie could be the first one of these movies, and THR is even claiming that the Batgirl film could feature Keaton as well. The Flashpoint film will star Ezra Miller as the the Flash picking up on his ties with the DCEU beginning from Batman v Superman up until Justice League. The movie is also said to tie the DC cinematic multiverse together, allowing different versions of the same characters to come together, which could explain Keaton’s return as Batman. I'm pretty damn excited if this happens, kids.
Man, if 2020 was an avocado...

Well, it turns out Trump is supporting Biden...

Haha! Ridin' with Biden. I was thinking of getting a new tattoo but someone had the same idea I had.

As the Black Lives Matter movement inspires actions around the world, many churches and other insitutions with prime sign real estate are using their platform to voice their support. Members of the clergy are quoting their fellow reverend, Dr. Martin Luther King, and calling on their communities to love thy neighbor. Like the the Unifour Church, North Carolina...

Large crowds all over the world have gathered to protest police brutality and stand with Black Lives Matter. People are standing up for the safety and dignity of black people whether or not its popular in their town. Anti-racist demonstrators are hosting their own protests in small towns and cities. While they may be the only people standing, they're not standing alone. Like this woman in Grants Pass, Oregon...

Everyone has very different relationship with nudity, with some embracing and considering the beauty of nudity, and others considering it crass and inappropriate. Of course, context is crucial when it comes to discussions of nudity. Most people would agree that a public train ride isn't the right place for someone to bare it all, and yet many appreciate and recognize the role of nudity in art. While putting on pants before a guest comes over is a given, covering up a painting featuring nudity is a completely different judgement call. In a recent email to the Phile, a woman asked if she was wrong for letting her parents see a nude painting that her boyfriend is working on. 

"Am I wrong for leaving a nude painting out when my parents came over? So this shit was honestly so crazy to me." She shared that she moved in with her boyfriend a few weeks ago, and the family came over on Father's Day to see the apartment. "So my boyfriend and I moved in together a few weeks ago. And today my parents and brother came over for Father’s Day to see me and my boyfriends new place. I cleaned and made a really nice lunch and was super excited for them to come and check out the new place!" Her boyfriend is an artist, so they turned one of the bedrooms into his studio, and his most recent painting featured his naked girlfriend. "We ended up getting a two bedroom apartment because my boyfriend is an artist and needed a room to turn into an art studio. And recently he had decided to paint a nude photo of me. Something I was okay with and it was honestly really pretty and a great painting. The painting was also not fully complete and was just out in the open in his closed art studio!" When the family came over, she gave them the full tour... including the studio where her nude painting sat. "So my family comes over and I’m giving them the tour and when its over they asked to see the art studio. They honestly love my boyfriend's usual art and wanted to see how we set up the room. With my boyfriend's permission I let them in." Both her and her boyfriend had forgotten that specific painting was there, so when her mom saw it and freaked out, it was a complete surprise. "We had both honestly forgot that painting was even there but that’s not even the point. They walked in and my mom immediately gets pissed and points at the painting. She said, 'what the hell is that?' I said that’s a painting my boyfriend is working on and moved to turn it around. I wasn’t embarrassed or anything but I was annoyed she was freaking out." Not seeing the big deal, she ended up arguing with her mom about how it's their house, and they can keep that painting up if they so choose. "We ended up getting into an argument and she accused me of having no couth or respect for them. I reminded her that she wanted to see the room and that it was my house and even if I wanted to hang it up it’s not her business. To be honest I didn’t even understand what we were actually arguing about! It was idiotic." Eventually, her dad got involved and claimed she was disrespecting her mom. "My dad accused me of disrespecting my mother by disagreeing with her and my mom only got more angry and called me a whore. They left in a rage and it was honestly so disorienting!" The visit ended poorly, and now her parents are complaining to the rest of the family about the argument. "They are now ranting to the rest of my family that I’m lose and disrespected myself by even letting him paint me or them by having it in the open for them to see. I still do not even understand what the hell is going! Am I in the wrong here?!" Have your parents ever been to a museum? It’s like they’ve never seen artworks of naked bodies before. It’s a painting, AND it’s your home. I think the painting must be well done, if your parents could immediately recognize her. I would understand your parent's perspective if the painting was sexually overt, but since it's just a nude, I think you're in the right. If the painting was otherwise decent in manner, just a nude then there's nothing bad, it may be bit different if you'd be in the painting with a rubber duck in your ass or something like that. Throughout centuries artists have painted their wives, girlfriends, mistresses, etc. There's nothing wrong with that. Hopefully, your parents will get out of their own way and realize a painting making them uncomfortable is no reason to poison a relationship with family. If you have a problem and you'd like my opinion and help email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com.

President Donald Trump‘s return to the campaign trail was designed to show strength and enthusiasm heading into the critical final months before an election that will decide whether he remains in the White House. Instead, his weekend rally in Oklahoma highlighted growing vulnerabilities and crystallized a divisive reelection message that largely ignores broad swaths of voters... independents, suburban women and people of color... who could play a crucial role in choosing Trump or Democratic challenger Joe Biden. The lower-than-expected turnout at the comeback rally, in particular, left Trump fuming. “There’s really only one strategy left for him, and that is to propel that rage and anger and try to split the society and see if he can have a tribal leadership win here,” former Trump adviser-turned-critic Anthony Scaramucci said on CNN’s “Reliable Sources.” The Republican president did not offer even a token reference to national unity in remarks that spanned more than an hour and 40 minutes at his self-described campaign relaunch as the nation grappled with surging coronavirus infections, the worst unemployment since the Great Depression and sweeping civil unrest. Nor did Trump mention George Floyd, the African-American man whose death at the hands of Minnesota police late last month sparked a national uprising over police brutality. But he did add new fuel to the nation’s culture wars, defending Confederate statues while making racist references to the coronavirus, which originated in China and which he called “kung flu.” He also said Democratic Rep. Ilhan Omar, who came to the U.S. as a refugee, “would like to make the government of our country just like the country from where she came, Somalia.” Trump won the presidency in 2016 with a similar red-meat message aimed largely at energizing conservatives and white working-class men. But less than four months before early voting begins in some states, there are signs that independents and educated voters... particularly suburban women... have turned against him. Republican strategists increasingly believe that only a dramatic turnaround in the economy can revive his reelection aspirations. “It’s bad,” said Republican operative Rick Tyler, a frequent Trump critic. “There’s literally nothing to run on. The only thing he can say is that Biden is worse.” But the day after Trump’s Tulsa rally, the president’s message was almost an afterthought as aides tried to explain away a smaller-than-expected crowd that left the president outraged. The campaign had been betting big on Tulsa. Trump’s political team spent days proclaiming that more than 1 million people had requested tickets. They also ignored health warnings from the White House coronavirus task force and Oklahoma officials, eager to host an event that would help him move past the civil rights protests and the coronavirus itself. His first rally in 110 days was meant to be a defiant display of political force to help energize Trump’s spirits, try out some attacks on Biden and serve as a powerful symbol of American’s reopening. Instead, the city fire marshal’s office reported a crowd of just less than 6,200 in the 19,000-seat BOK Center, and at least six staff members who helped set up the event tested positive for the coronavirus. The vast majority of the attendees, including Trump, did not wear face masks as recommended by the Trump administration’s health experts. After the rally, the president berated aides over the turnout. He fumed that he had been led to believe he would see huge crowds in deep-red Oklahoma, according to two White House and campaign officials who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly about private conversations. There was no sign of an imminent staff shakeup, but members of Trump’s inner circle angrily questioned how campaign manager Brad Parscale and other senior aides could so wildly overpromise and underdeliver, according to the officials. Publicly, Trump’s team scrambled to blame the crowd size on media coverage and protesters outside the venue, but the small crowds of pre-rally demonstrators were largely peaceful. Tulsa police reported just one arrest Saturday afternoon. It’s unclear when Trump will hold his next rally. Before Oklahoma, the campaign had planned to finalize and announce its next rally this week. Trump is already scheduled to make appearances Tuesday in Arizona and Thursday in Wisconsin. Both are major general election battlegrounds. At least one swing state governor, meanwhile, says Trump would not be welcome to host a rally in her state amid the pandemic. Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, a Democrat, said she “would think very seriously about” trying to block Trump from hosting a rally there if he wanted to. “We know that congregating without masks, especially at an indoor facility, is the worst thing to do in the midst of a global pandemic,” Whitmer said in an interview before the Oklahoma event, conceding that she wasn’t aware of the specific legal tools she had available to block a prospective Trump rally. “I just know we have limitations on the number of people that can gather and that we’re taking this seriously.” Biden’s campaign, meanwhile, seized on a fresh opportunity to poke at the incumbent president, suggesting that Trump “was already in a tailspin” because of his mismanagement of the pandemic and civil rights protests. “Donald Trump has abdicated leadership, and it is no surprise that his supporters have responded by abandoning him,” Biden spokesperson Andrew Bates said.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, here's another story from this messed up state...

Yes, Florida has done it again. Despite some of us trying to stay safe during this coronavirus pandemic and whatnot, this man basically said, “I’m done. COVID-19 isn’t going to get me.” Basically, this Florida Man caused quite a commotion at a Walmart, after not wearing any type of face mask. In case you haven’t been to a Walmart in Orlando, or nationwide during the coronavirus outbreak, the store had a mandatory face mask policy. But no, this dude decided he didn’t need one and said “Eff it, I’m getting in one way or another.” The viral video was posted on social media, of course, and it shows the elderly man trying to storm his way into Walmart without a face covering. BUT, he quickly gets stopped by a Walmart employee at the front door. But no, this wasn’t going to stop this grandfather from getting inside. He immediately put his fist up and started pushing his ways through the store. He even shoved the poor masked employee out of his way, which he initially succeeded at first. The man is seen getting by the employee after taking quite a tumble during the argument and then headed for some aisles. But, the employee, who should be named employee of the year, caught up to him and attempted to stop him again. Yup, this man deserves a raise and some more. On the second attempt to get him out, the employee had some backup, a random stranger who chimed in and told the dude to get out. He then goes on to explain that the man was basically getting his germ everywhere by making a scene, as everyone else was seen with a face mask. Luckily, the pressure from the two men was enough to get this insane man to leave the store. Honestly, this is absurd. Do you part dude, help stop the virus and just keep your freaking mask on. Seriously. You’re only causing more panic by spreading your germs everywhere and exposing them to people who are actually doing their part to stay safe, bro. It’s surreal we even have to remind people to wear their masks. Did we forget about all the coronavirus cases popping back up? I bet this dude doesn’t wash his hands whenever he uses the restroom. 

Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Things Said About The Empty Seats At Trump's Tulsa Rally

5. At least Clint Eastwood only talked to one empty chair. Trump talked to about 13,000 empty blue chairs in Tulsa.

4. There are few things better than teenagers punking Donald Trump by registering for hundreds of thousands of tickets to the Tulsa rally that they never intended to use, leaving the arena half empty. 

3. After Trump finished speaking it took 46 seconds to empty the arena.

2. You know who could have filled that half empty Tulsa stadium for a week? Taylor Swift.

And the number one thing said about the empty seats at Trump's Tulsa rally was...

1. The Wiggles is trending. and it's categorized as "politics." This is officially the best day of 2020 for me to be honest. 

The 129th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Natasha will be on the Phile tomorrow. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jeff, shall we?

Not much happening. Seems like another nice day there. 

Pete went into the doctor's office for his annual checkup, and the doctor asked if there was anything unusual he should know about. So Pete told the doctor that his suit must have shrunk over the last year, because it didn't fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently. The doctor said, "Suits don't shrink just sitting in a closet. You probably put on a few pounds." "That's just it, doc, I know I haven't gained a single pound since the last time I wore it." "Well, then," said the doctor, "You must have a case of Furniture Disease." "What in the world is Furniture Disease?" asked Pete. "That's when your chest starts sliding down into your drawers."

Today's guest is an American singer, songwriter, musician, actor, presenter, comedian, and activist. His latests spoken word album "Keep Talking, Pal" is available on iTunes, Spotify and iHeartRadio. Please welcomer to the Phile... Henry Rollins!

Me: Hey, Henry, welcome to the Phile. How are you doing, man? 

Henry: I'm great, man. 

Me: So, I saw you at one of the Lollapalooza shows in the 90s with Black Flag, and you also were there with the Henry Rollins Band  as well I think. But I want to see your spoken word show. When did you start doing this one man spoken word thing? 

Henry: Oh, ten dollars, I was offered ten dollars. There's a guy at a venue which is a small performance space where this one promoter in Los Angeles, this is in the 1980s, he would get a bunch of really cool people... poets, artists, people in bands, everyone would get 7 to 10 minutes. So I would go to these shows because Black Flag's bass player would get up there and read for 10 minutes from this apocalyptic Orwellian notebook and one night the promoter said, "You got a big mouth, why don't you go up there next week?" I said, "What am I gonna do?" He said, "We're paying ten bucks." I said, "I'm in." Because hunger is a thing. So I went up there and read a couple things I've written like a brief story of how our guitar player had almost been run over the day before by a white supremacist has he was on his way to the liquor store to buy some orange juice where we were practicing in a gang neighborhood and the local white power unit did not like that we had Mexican and Samoan gangsters visiting our band practice space, 'cause we were race mixing. And so he tried to run over one of our band members. For us this was Tuesday, in the life of Black Flag. For the audience like their jaws hit the ground. I said, well, gotta go... ten minutes. 

Me: So, what made you keep doing this kinda thing all these years later? 

Henry: People came up to me afterwards and said, "When's your next show?" I said, "I leave on tour..." They were like, "No no no no, When's your next show where you just talk?" I was like never. I got ten bucks. But I liked it. I just felt like a fish dropped in water without band. I'm not putting that format down. I'm just saying I did fine without one. That promoter started saying, "I'll give you 20 minutes if you open for this poet." Then after a few of those now that poet is opening for me which he probably didn't like very much. That's kinda how it spread. By '85 I did my first cross country tour, 12 to 50 people a night, sleeping on the promoter's couch or one of the audience members couches. Now it's a tour that takes about 14 months and it does about 19 to 22 countries. 

Me: What goes through tour mind doing a show like this opposed to doing a performance musically? 

Henry: I'm trying to connect with the audience. I have no snare drum to keep me in line. No guitar to hide behind if I make a mistake. So in my mind I must be hyper-prepared. I'm there to take the audience with me. I must earn those mines on stage. It's not the matter of the ticket price anyone has paid. I don't think about the money. I think about peoples time and not wasting it. If they're trusting me with their time I'm kinda terrified of failing that. And so a lot of preparation goes in so I don't waste a nano-second of the audiences time because they're all getting up at 3:30 in the morning... kids, cubicles and cars... the real world. 

Me: So, when you're on stage what are you trying to do? 

Henry: What I'm tying to do... the proverbial you... you the audience member. I'm trying to impact you. I'm reporting to you from a distant locations. Report Taj delivered from a guy who probably doesn't see the world they way my parents did. I'm a weird person, I always knew that since I was 6 years of age. That's what going through my head when I'm up there. Impact. Clarity. Position. Never be boring, always be compelling. 

Me: I watched a video of you performing on stage and you say a lot, "See? See? I'm not boring." You call it out on stage. You really don't want to waste anyone's time, do you? 

Henry: Life is short. Everyone has an option. It's amazing anyone goes to anything life anything any time. 

Me: What do you think of the Internet and the way people watch entertainment now opposed to back in the 80s? 

Henry: I remember a time a hundred years ago when MTV started cutting down on live attendance because music became a thing we witnessed from a couch. We no longer went to the well to get the water. Live music took a hit until people went "wait a minute. I really miss the sound of that guitar." These days with live shows if people don't want to go see me live on stage then fine... go to your cell phone and watch me the night before. Because some guy filmed with his phone. There's like millions of hours of free "me" on the Internet. Like every record I've ever done you could listen to it. Every DVD I've ever done... "Keep Talking, Pal," this thing, it's probably for free right now. 

Me: Does that bother you? 

Henry: I'm not up late at night wondering where my 30 cents is going. I'm just swing, it's amazing anyone goes to this ancient ritual of getting in a transport and going to a venue having someone turn up. The fact that they do I really cannot be boring. I really have to get them off the couch. Make them think that was worth it. 

Me: I love the story about when you tell the story about meeting Ozzy Osborne when the Henry Rollins Band opened for Ozzy here in Florida that you tell on the record. You say you get starstruck a lot, right? 

Henry: Well, it's one of the things I try to maintain. I came into music and everything else... acting and whatever else through music... punk rock music as a fan. Going to the shows I saw a band I liked called Black Flag, they needed a singer, I auditioned, I got the job. I joined that band as a fan of theirs. So I I never want to lose the ability to be a fan. I'm 59. I shouldn't be, "Oh, dude, I have your new record." But I am. I'm freaking out that I get to talk to you, the son of one of the greatest rock and roll front men of all time... Lonesome Dave. 

Me: Thanks. So, is that story about when you were backstage and Ozzy walked in and asked "which one is Henry Rollins?" and said you can play as loud as you want accurate? 

Henry: I fairly described meeting Ozzy but what I left out was probably not ready for primetime words that Ozzy peppered in that. Over the years when I interacted with Ozzy and his family many times. They couldn't to have been nicer to me. All of the Black Sabbath guys are the same way. They're really, really cool. Anytime I see any of them I stand up straight and I call them "sir." Ozzy's like, "YouarelookingwellHenry." And I'm like "hello, sir." I can't help it. 

Me: Anybody else you get "weird" about when you meet?

Henry: When I see a member of the Damned I call them "sir." Whenever I see Captain Sensible I salute him. He's like, "Henry, we can take it easy..." "I can't, sir!" These people make life possible. I lean on those records really hard. I can't thank those people enough. So I remain a fan. 

Me: You say on the record a band member says to you, "Come on, Henry, they're only people." You say a quick line after that. What do you say? 

Henry: They're not only people. They saved my life. They have to be more than that. 

Me: That's sweet. What do you mean by that? 

Henry: I found out by the time I was 6 or 7 this is gonna be a tough ride. I don't get along well with others. I'm hyper. They gave me a lot of Ritalin. I don't know what it did. Music was the thing I could deal with. At a birthday party of course I cried and hyperventilate. But of you put me alone in a room with a Beatles record I'll just play side one all day. I don't care. They're talking to me and that's fine. The FM radio in high school became my friend. Then punk rock hit me and finally my shield had my insignia on it. And so the Clash, and the Damned and the U.K. Subs, Generation X, all those bands, the Ruts, they saved me. Finally this was music addressing my anger. My frustration. My feelings of alienation. I went to punk rock shows in Washington D.C. and finally met fellow weirdos. "Oh, cool, you cannot thew the ball straight either." We had something in common. And so it changed me and I felt like I could feel my feet in my shoes. It was a big deal. I've never gotten over it. I feel perhaps naively I could walk up to anyone in any country anywhere that's wearing a Ramones shirt and say, "Hey! All right!" I do that now and then. 

Me: I once saw a teenage girl at Disney where I work wearing a Ramones t-shirt and said, "You like the Ramones? I saw them in concert." And she said, "They're a band?" I was like what the fuck... hahaha. 

Henry: Ha! She should've said, "All right. Okay." I had guy once who said to me, "Wait a minute! I recognize you! My grandfather used to listen to you!" I feel that. I feel there's a real community of that kinda music. I'm not really a people person. I'm not anti. I'm just nervous around them. Whenever I'm in a record store or at a gig I'm just fuck yeah, we're at the temple, we're all good to go. That's what I mean. 

Me: So, who is the one person you really look up to? Like the ultimate musically... mine is Graham Parker... next to my dad. 

Henry: Iggy. Whenever I meet Iggy. Iggy's like the Big Boss. He's very patient with me. I'm like, "Hello, sir!" He's like, "Hey, Henry, how are you, man?" I've been calling him "sir" for like 30 something years. He probably thinks I just cool it a little. But I can't! 

Me: Hahaha. Why not? 

Henry: How can I get over the fact that he's on the "Raw Power" album? He's on "The Idiot." What am I gonna do about that except thank him. How many years do I have to stand there to make it right? To make merit. I'd have to stand in front of him for like 350 years saying thank you. Because those records, I'll probably be playing them one or two this weekend. So I owe these people everything so I try my best to stay away from them because I'm afraid I'm a guy pushing 60 acting incredibly weird in front of them. 

Me: What do you think when fans come up to you and freak out that they're meeting Henry Rollins? 

Henry: Yeah, I understand it. Enough people have said to me, and this is always the quiet because I've been telling that Ozzy story on and off in different permutations for years. People say, "You know that story about when you met Ozzy..." "Yeah." "Henry, that's me meeting you right now." I say, "Really?" And they'd say, "Oh, yeah." When I was 20 something or 30 something I had a really hard time handling it. That kind of information. "I really like what you do." "Why?" And so I was insecure and didn't know how to handle that. I'm better at it now because I'm so familiar with being in that position myself. Meeting so many other people. 

Me: Do you get recognized a lot, Henry? How do you like that? 

Henry: These days with everyone having a cellphone with a camera in it I get a lot of photo requests. At the airport. At the grocery store. Kinda sorta anywhere where I'm not in traffic. And so I just appreciate it. Being a fan I understand it a lot more. I also see some guy at a show looking at me needing up the courage to walk up and shake my hand. I'm like he's two minutes away... oh no, here he comes. And I see it. He's like rehearsing the first line as I did years before preparing to meet James Brown. I hit it perfectly. "Mr. Brown, howdy you do?" I hit it. I see the guy working and I have nothing but sympathy and he comes over. "Mr. Rollins..." "Call me Henry. Let's reduce the pulse rate." And no problem. He's my fan. And I'm someone else's fan so it's cool. We have a good chat. 

Me: My dad was very shy off stage and Lonesome Dave on stage... not shy at all. Freddie Mercury was the same way. Can you relate to that? 

Henry: Yes, and obviously I can't speak for your father and Mr. Mercury who I both admire. With him being on stage at Wembley or your dad at Madison Square Garden is waaayyyy more preferable to hanging out with 8 people in a hotel suite. With a gazillion people waving at Wembley, or MSG, that's the water. They're the fish dropped in it. That's their world. On stage I have no trepidation whatsoever. 

Me: What about in interviews? 

Henry: None. 

Me: Hmmm. Do you have confidence? 

Henry: I don't have any. I'm glad I don't. I don't have a drop of confidence. The day I think I got this that's when the bear eats me. That's when I take my eyes and let the car drive me. I have no confidence whatsoever. I have a fear of failure. And a desire of excellence and achievement. Being in a room with people I have many defaults because I prefer to be polite. I like being polite. I don't always achieve it but I try for it. When in doubt I just prefer to be polite. 

Me: How are you at award shows if you have to hand out an award to someone? 

Henry: My manager, Heidi, who has been working with me for about 21 point something years... she comes with me! She's like, "Okay, this guy is walking up to you on your right. You're gonna be nice." I don't always know what to do. I'm not biting people. I just get nervous. But if it put me on stage to hand out an award... no problem. Or "The MC got sick, can you hist the show?" "Yes." "Right now?" "Yeah. Sure." I don't know why that is. If I'm asked to act, be in a movie, no problem. Go to the wrap party. "Ahhhhh. Why?! I thought you liked me. Don't make me do that." 

Me: Have you always been that way? 

Henry: Yeah. It's gotten better, I just laugh at myself. All right, nervous boy. We're getting out of the car. We're walking in. And I just smile through it. 

Me: Do you have a favorite memory or something that sticks out that you had to do? 

Henry: Many, many years ago I met Brian May at the request of Sharon Osborne. I was building a press kit for the first Black Sabbath reunion shows in Birmingham, U.K. Sharon put me to work. She said, "Okay, here's your film crew. There's Brian May. Go interview him." So I cold called Brian May standing in the room. "Sir, I'm here on behalf of Sharon Osborne. I need to interview you or..." He said, "Or she'll cut your head off. Don't worry. We'll do the interview. It's funny." He ends up being one of the nicest people I ever met. If I could be gratuitous, he said, "By the way, Freddie was a really big fan of Black Flag." Which I just thought was one of the coolest things I heard that year. That was a really big thing for me. I don't have any confidence but I do have that thing a lot of performers have. I'm kind of a wreck on my own but you out me on stage somehow I can get by up there where the rest of my life is stormy weather. 

Me: Is that why you work so much? I mean you also act, do poetry, an author, and a radio host... 

Henry: I'm a workaholic. I'm an achievement addict. I like to get it done. I like to clear my computer off so I can put more on it. I'm a shipbuilder basically. I don't want to sail in it. I want build it and get the damn thing off the dock. So work suits me. I don't do it for the money. Or fame. It's all about do one thing then do another then do another. I come from the minimum wage of the working world of the 1970s early 1980s. I'm used to 3.75 an hour. parking your car or asking you if you want an extra large order. I'm not putting that work down. I'm saying that's my mentality. Just get up and get it done. The fame and notoriety that's just a weird thing that happens. I'd rather just be the shoulder to the wheel. Just do the thing. 

Me: Any advice you can give somebody reading this, Henry? 

Henry: Easy. Just tell the truth. Life is short. You'e younger than me. Everyone is younger than me. Everyone is taller and younger than I am. That's been my experience when I meet people these days. How old are you, Jason? 

Me: I am 51. 

Henry: You'll be 60 by next Thursday. It goes really fast. So what are you gonna do? Compromise? Where you look back going woulda shoulda coulda? All those people that you admire there's probably a though line that goes through all those people you might not know until you write them all down. They probably stuck to their story and didn't back down. Why do you like this band? They just say it, man. Why do I love Lemmy? Because he just told the truth. Why does everyone like Ozzy? He is who he is which is a bit harder to do than you might think. I never met anyone in my life who was more than who he was than Lemmy of Motörhead. Just wow. I miss him every day. But that's what I do with the 20 or 90 years I get on the planet. Don't hold back. Don't back off. Just get up there and hit it. Soon enough everything hurts. You'll eat aspirin and everyone walks by you faster than you could walk. Trust me. It happens. That's the though line of my life. Whenever I had the guts to tell it like I saw it. I've been wrong. Like a thick headed male is meant to be. But I corrected myself. At least at the time I thought I was going to hit it out of the park. 

Me: Henry, thanks soooo much for being on the Phile. This was one of my favorite interviews ever. Please come back again. 

Henry: Thank you very much. I will.

Wow! That was a crazy interview. I didn't understand half the stuff he said. Thanks to Henry Rollins for an interesting interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with actress Natasha Gregson Wagner. Spread the word, not the turd... or the virus. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. 

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon