Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Thursday... happy first day of spring. Doesn't the logo look pretty? Celebrate the first day of spring by staying inside all day. Okay, so now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly... next week: turn signals. In 2019 ghosting was a thing. In 2020 its self-quarantining.
A Boston, Massachusetts woman who thought she was all good and stocked up on toilet paper, paper towels, and bottled water for the impending end of the world came home from work on February 27th to find that her good boy… hadn’t been so good, and that her stash was now trash. Baylee Mooney walked into the living room of her home after a day of work to find a scene of total destruction. Paper shreds were everywhere. Water bottles were ripped into. Pure chaos. Her self-isolation stockpile had been thoroughly obliterated. Then, she found her dog, a 10-month-old German Shepherd named Kilo. Kilo was trying to play it cool. “I’m just as confused as you are,” he was almost certainly trying to convey to his mom. But Kilo, unfortunately, forgot one small detail. He still had a Bounty paper towel wrapper around him. According to the Daily Mail, Mooney said she was furious with her dog at first but as soon as she saw him with the Bounty wrapper stuck around him all she could do was laugh. And really, how could she not?
How hard did that dog have to go at those paper towels to get so completely entangled in their wrapper that he ended up wearing it like a poncho? Freaking puppies, man. They get after something and completely lose track of time and space and the next thing they know there’s a trail of their owner’s destroyed possessions in their wake and they somehow ended up on the roof or something. Truly, no one gets lost in the moment quite like an entertained puppy. Hope it was fun, Kilo. It’s fair to assume the pup will probably be kept under a closer watch or in a more confined space the next time he’s left alone. As far as Kilo is concerned, however, it was almost certainly worth it.
A woman on an American Eagle flight from New Orleans, Louisiana to Charlotte, North Carolina experienced some extremely localized turbulence when, after she reclined her chair, the man sitting behind her started punching the back of her seat. Wendi Williams was on her January 31st flight, operated by Republic Airways, when she decided she deserved to treat herself by reclining her airplane seat the full inch and a half back that it goes. It turns out that this was an inch too far for the man behind her. According to Williams, the man punched the back of her seat at least nine times before she started filming. From there a flight attendant intervened and, somehow, sided with the man punching the back of her chair. The flight attendant gave the man some complimentary rum (nothing discourages punching like alcohol) and did little if anything to help Williams. In fact, the flight attendant eventually served Williams a Passenger Disturbance Notice. The video has gone viral since Williams posted it and the Internet is split about who is at fault here. Is it Williams for deciding to recline her chair while flying coach? Or the man for punching the back of Williams’ chair over and over again? It’s the guy. The guy is wrong. Completely wrong. He’s punching the back of her chair. There’s no chair punching allowed on flights. Chair reclining, however, is allowed. Yes, Williams does kind of suck a little for reclining her chair but not anywhere near to the point of what she ended up having to deal with. What she did is something you should expect to have to deal with on a flight in coach. What sort of hopelessly naive optimist walks to the back of the plane and finds their seat without expecting to suffer some sort of indignity. You might as well be riding a flying bus. Suck it up.
A few months ago UFC President Dana White tweeted out a picture of female UFC fighter Polyana Viana next to a picture of a guy whose face looked like it had been tenderized with a jackhammer.
Why? Turns out the guy with the newly mushy face had attempted to mug Viana, almost certainly unaware of who she was. As it turned out, that ended extremely badly for the would-be mugger. Especially for his face. According to Bleacher Report, the man acted like he had a gun and attempted to steal Viana’s phone by intimidating her. But because Viana is both intelligent and literally gets attacked for a living, she realized that the man’s gun was a fake and was never intimidated by him. In the moment Viana said that she still considered that the man may have a gun, but she figured he was too close to her to draw it. With that in mind, she started punching him in the face. Then she kicked him in the face. As he fell she said that she put him into a “rear-naked choke.” Finally, she called the police while keeping the now both physically and spiritually broken man pinned down. Obviously, this guy was either high, dumb, insane, or all three. Not only was Viana dressed in a way that shows she is clearly jacked... like, way more built than the guy... but she’s wearing a UFC shirt. Put two and two together, man! How do you walk up to her, see her guns, read her shirt, and think, “Eh probably just a coincidence.” For this guy’s sake, I hope he changes his ways before he ends up trying to rob a woman wearing a shirt that says, “I am carrying a firearm and I am lethally proficient with it.”
A father who was upset that a student had been fighting with one of his children stormed onto a middle school bus with a loaded pistol in suburban St. Louis and threatened everyone on board, authorities say. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that Christian Goodson was charged with two counts of unlawful use of a weapon and seven counts of endangering the welfare of a child, along with misdemeanor property damage and assault counts. His bond was set at $100,000 cash only. No attorney is listed for him in online court records. Earlier in the day, a fight among students waiting at the bus stop continued when they boarded the bus, said Kevin Hampton, a spokesman for the Ferguson-Florissant School District. Goodson became angry and used a pistol to break the glass on the school bus door when the driver wouldn’t let him onboard, Berkeley Police Officer Mike Wallish said in court papers. Fearing Goodson would start shooting, a district employee opened the door and let Goodson step onto the bus, Wallish said. Goodson pushed the driver, said, “You got what you wanted” and pointed the pistol at everyone on the bus, court records said. The students then ran to the back of the bus, and Goodson took his two children and left, police said. The bus carried nine students, a new bus driver, a veteran driver who was mentoring the new one, and another staff member who was riding as a bus monitor because of previous disruptions and fights on the bus. Berkeley Police Chief Art Jackson said officers arrested Goodson later at his home and recovered the loaded pistol. Jackson said officers also took other parents and students into custody but provided no details. Tangie Francwar, principal of the Johnson-Wabash Sixth Grade Center, said in a letter to parents that the father was on the bus for 37 seconds and had encouraged students to fight, although the police summary doesn’t mention that. No one was hurt.
There’s no doubt that one of the most popular items on the buffet line is crab legs. So it comes as no surprise that people would stoop low enough to fist-fight over these bad boys. Meteor Buffet in Huntsville, Alabama, prides itself on its wide selection of Chinese and seafood, along with affordable prices. The reviews on Yelp are pretty enthusiastic and the restaurant itself seems to have a pretty loyal following. You got your sushi, steamed buns, hibachi, and of course the king of the sea, king crab legs. Known for their popularity, people tend to wait in line to grab the crab legs before they run out. According to Huntsville police officer Gerald Johnson, who happened to be eating dinner at the restaurant when the fight happened, the diners started fighting with each other and pushing each other out of the way to get the crab legs. John Chapman and Chequita Jenkins took the metal tongs and started using them as fencing swords on each other. “It’s not something you typically hear if you can imagine a fencing match,” Johnson said. “Everyone was saying, ‘They cut me in line. She cut me in line. He cut me in line. I was here first,'” Johnson said. Chapman and Jenkins were both arrested; Chapman facing disorderly conduct and Jenkins facing third-degree assault. When questioned later, the two agreed their tempers got the best of them. This isn’t the first time a buffet brawl broke out over crab legs. In April 2016, two people got in an altercation which resulted in a cut lip and broken front tooth. One diner even sprayed pepper spray to break up the fight. Chapman and Jenkins face hundreds of dollars in fines, well above the $10.58 charge for the buffet. I think after this whole coronavirus thing is over buffet's will be the thing of the past.
Do you want to look trendy when you're wearing a mask when you go out? Nike is coming out with their own version. Take a look...
This is the most Tinder Man joke in the history of Tinder Men. Do you need help washing your hands? Here's something that will help...
That's Graham Parkers's song "Stick To Me." If you need hand sanitizer check this ad out...
Nope. Haha. Here's another...
Good luck, kids. Okay, so I have to mention something... yesterday I learnt that a friend of mine who I worked with about 20 years ago at Epcot passed away. Gary was a very funny guy and big fan of this stupid little blog, and would send me funny things once in a while for it. Gary, you will be missed.
Hey, it's Thursday... you know what that means...
Ugh. I'm so sorry. I apologize. Moving on...
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...
Top Phive Other Things Overheard About The Coronavirus
5. As for me, I've been slacking off my whole life in preparation for this moment. Finally, my time has come to not shine.
4. My 30th birthday is today but I just want everyone to know that I will be postponing it indefinitely due to coronavirus, and I will be turning 30 at a later date. Thank you!
3. DPH: "Have you been to any countries experiencing an outbreak of coronavirus in the past two weeks?" Man: "Yes, the U.S.A."
2. The owner of my gym just emailed a more thorough, detailed, thoughtful plan for dealing with coronavirus than the President of the United States.
And the number one other thing overheard about the coronavirus
1. I have been informed by a relative who is a middle school teacher that students are now referring to coronavirus as the "boomer remover."
People are fucking crazy. Okay, so a friend of the Phile has something to say to you. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is...
Good morning, humans. For years, I’ve heard all of you claiming to be prepared for the real life "Walking Dead"... yet the minute main stream media gets you whipped up into a frenzy, what do you stock up on and clear the shelves of ? Guns and ammo? Nope. Food and water? No. Vitamins and probiotics? Nuh-Uh. Medical supplies? Not at all. Toilet paper... you fuckin’ morons have been stocking up on toilet paper as if you’ll never see another roll again. As if the manufacturing of it has been outlawed. What is wrong with you?
Do I date tell him that food and water is sparse as well? Okay, so, the 117th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
Rolly was supposed to be one of the Disney guests on the Disney entries but as the parks are closed that won't happen. We'll still have some Disney fun though. Anyway, Rolly will be on the Phile next week. Okay, so you know I live in Florida, right? There's stuff that happens in Florida that happens nowhere else in the universe...
A police officer’s body camera shows a 6-year-old girl from Florida crying and begging officers not to arrest her, as an officer fastens zip ties around her wrist while at school. The video was shared by Kaia Rolle’s family, which shows the girl being detained back in September for punching and kicking staff members at her Orlando Charter school. In the video, Kaia is heard saying, “What are those for?” referring to the zip ties in the officer’s hands. Orlando Police officer Dennis Turner is then heard saying, “They’re for you,” before the other office tightens them around her wrist and the 6-year-old begins to cry. As she is being walked away to the police car, she desperately pleas, yelling “Help me. Help me, please, I don’t want to go in a police car.” The second officer, who has yet to be identified, responds, “You don’t want to? You have to.” While Kaia urges for a second chance. He then lifts the sobbing girl into the back seat of the police vehicle and puts a seat belt around her. A few moments later, the video shows Turner returning to the office to talk to administrators from Lucious & Emma Nixon Academy, who appear to me in shock by what they witness in the school office. That’s when Turner tells them that the juvenile detention center where the girl was headed to is “not like you think,” bragging he has made more than 6,000 arrests, including a 7-year-old. The boy was caught stealing at Albertson and was arrested because he “thought it was a joke” while other children had started crying. When administrators tell him Kaia is actually 6, not, 8, replies, “now she has broken the record.” The first-grader had reportedly had a tantrum earlier in the day where she had punched and kicked three school employees, leading to her arrest on a charge of misdemeanor battery. However, officials did note that when officers approached Kai to detain, cuff, and arrest her, she had calmed down, as shown in the video. Kaia was processed at the county Juvenile Assessment Center, where her fingerprints and mugshots were taken. She reportedly had to use a step stool so she could reach the camera for her mugshot. The Florida girl has since re-enrolled into a private school, refusing to attend a school with an office on campus. Turner was fired shortly after the arrest. According to Orlando Police Chief Orlando Rolon, Turner did not follow department policy of getting the approval of a watch commander to arrest someone younger than the age of 12. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time the officer arrested someone under 7. Officers stated Turner also arrested a 6-year-old at another school that same day as Kaia’s arrest for misdemeanor battery in an unrelated incident. However, the boy’s arrest was hailed by superiors before the boy made it through the full arrest process. State Attorney Aramis Ayala later stated she was dismissing the misdemeanor battery charges against both children. Turner had worked with the OLD’ for 23 years where he was disciplined seven times for violations of department policy. According to the Orlando Sentinel, these ranged from unsafe driving to a “child-abuse arrest in which he was accused of injuring his 7-year-old son.” He was also accused of racial profile and sending threatening text messages to his ex-wife back in 2009.
An elderly couple were in church. The wife leaned over and whispered to her husband, "I just let out a long silent fart... what should I do?" The husband replied, "Replace the batteries in your hearing aid."
I'm soooo excited about this. Today's guest is an American musician, singer, songwriter, and actress. Her latest album "Threads" is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... the wonderful Sheryl Crow!
Me: Hello, Sheryl, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Sheryl: I am good, Jason. Great to be here.
Me: So, we met before at a Disney golf tournament for charity. I was there with my sister and you were one of the golfers. This must have been in 1995. I even have a pic of you and I. You had a problem with your video camera and I asked you if you needed help and you said no. Haha. Check it out...
Sheryl: That's funny. I think I remember that day. It was a long and hot day.
Me: Yeah, and I got a blister on my foot. Okay, so your new album "Threads" you collaborate with so many people. Two of them are Phile Alum... Mavis Staples and Jason Isbell. Was that the idea of the album?
Sheryl: "Threads" didn't start off as a project of collaborations, it started off with me and Kris Kristofferson in the studio. After we completed what we were doing, I had a couple of weeks of feeling super emotional. You know, we're all getting older, obviously. Kris is not making current memories now. I don't know why that concluded.
Me: So, how did you pick who you wanted to collaborate with?
Sheryl: Just connecting with people I've known for so long and have loved, and having these experiences of collaborating... those have meant more to me than any award or anything.
Me: The new version of "Border Lord" that you and Kris Kristofferson sang sounds great, am I right?
Sheryl: He does so great. All of that is still intact. All of his memories from long ago are still intact. The guy was a broad scholar. He's brilliant. He's got incredible stories and he's always had... those stories are part of his DNA. It always has and always will be a treat for me to collaborate with him.
Me: When did you meet him first?
Sheryl: I met him 20 years ago. We were both on a Bill Clinton birthday celebration at the Beacon. Willie was on it, he was on it, Ray Charles was on it, Norah Jones. I can't remember who else was on that gig but I sang with him.
Me: So, the people on the album were an inspiration to you so what inspiration did you get from Kris?
Sheryl: I think I was right out of college and started to write my own stuff. I got into Kris and Bob Dylan, who for a long time I didn't really understand because I couldn't get past his singing. Of course now I think he's singing is brilliant. I don't know if you've seen the Rolling Thunder documentary but he really is otherworldly. Anyway, I got into him and I got into Kris and Joni Mitchell and just kid of schooled myself on them. Learned as many of his songs as I could learn and that's when I started teaching myself how to play the guitar and then many years later obviously I met him. He told me so many funny stories, one of which he told me he landed his helicopter in Johnny Cash's backyard.
Me: Wasn't he a janitor once?
Sheryl: Yes, I think he was a janitor at Capitol I think it was. He kept trying to get his songs heard and occasionally he was asked to be a waiter at the Cash residence. Johnny hosted Jimmy Carter or Nixon, I can't remember which president but he would have these dinners where dignitaries would come in and they would hire young people to be be waiters or whatever. So he intended to give his tale to Johnny that night and couldn't get up the nerve so he rented a helicopter as he was a helicopter pilot in the Vietnam war. He landed his helicopter in Johnny's backyard to get his attention. They were friends ever since.
Me: Okay, I have to mention Johnny Cash. You put the duet you did with him in the past on the album, right?
Sheryl: I originally released the song in '96, Johnny Cash covered it a few years later and this new version of "Redemption Day" features the both of us.
Me: I love this version, Sheryl! so, did Johnny covering your song come about?
Sheryl: Well, I sang at June's funeral and then I'd say about a month later I got a call from Jimmy Tiddle who was married to Kathy Cash and he said, "Johnny wants to talk to you. Johnny wants to talk to you about 'Redemption Day.' I gave him the song and he really wants to record it." He got on the phone and I've just seen him a month before and I said, "I can't believe you're going to record it." He said, "Honey, I haven't said everything I want to say yet." He asked me all kinds of questions about the song, why I've written it and different lyrics and then he said he feels strongly about the song and he wants to record and it send it to me and me tell him what he thinks. I was still kind of in shock. Well, he did, sent me a tape of it and I called him and said, "I'm blown away." he said, "Well, this is going to be the corner stone of my record" and then within the month he died.
Me: So, how did this duet come about?
Sheryl: When this came about I sat down at the piano I already had his vocal from the demo and just played under his vocal and a click and I played this piano part and I actually did not want to out my vocal on it because I loved just him. But Steve Jordan said, "It's your record, you have to out your vocal on it." I contacted John Carter, they gave me the blessing and then I sent it to Roseanne who said, "It's hard for me to listen to it. My dad sounds so present, I wasn't prepared for that." Anyway, I had their blessing and here it is.
Me: I interviewed John Carter Cash in August 2018. That was pretty cool. So, what was it like for you to have this duet?
Sheryl: It's still emotional for me to listen to it.
Me: Why is that?
Sheryl: I guess mainly for a couple of reasons. I loved he and June, they were always so generous to me but also I knew what the song meant to him. That in conjunction with what's happening in America and how sad and anxious it makes me as a mom it's just profound to hear him singing about freedom.
Me: So, what's the song about to you?
Sheryl: When I came home from Bosnia, I've never been to a war torn area, I came home and I was deeply affected by what I saw. It was nothing compared to what was happening in Rwanda which was all over TV and yet no one went in to help those people. I kept thinking why is nobody helping them? All I could think of was the decisions that they make as a government has everything to do with what that government knows and what it benefits. What benefits them going into that country. I heard the Dalai Lama a few years after that say if every decision was based in compassion the world would be a completely different place. That was what was lacking to me. So that is what that song is about. And I still hold that belief that at a certain point we elect our leaders to do right by us as a country but also as people, as a humanity.
Me: The song came out in 1996 and is still relevant now. Why do you think that is?
Sheryl: I always say this... even Bob Dylan knows it. I always read Bob Dylan lyrics before I go in and make a record because I like having that cadence in my mind or maybe because he can speak directly about something and yet make it timeless. I don't know how anyone does it like he does it. But that I guess at the end of my career in my life I hope I have those songs that transcends in time and I feel that this song was definitely of that moment but its found its true moment right now. It may have other moments but right now it definitely speaks to me as a parent and as an American.
Me: You're very political I think, Sheryl. You campaigned for Obama, you spoke out about gun control and other stuff. I don't think you've ever been shy about what you believe in politically. Did you grow up political?
Sheryl: I had a Republican dad and a Democrat mom. And when I turned 18, they both secretly were in my ear, "Vote Democrat!'"And the other one was, "Vote Republican!" Because they knew they were always cancelling each other's votes out. My dad, since then, has became a Democrat many years back. I think part of it is being an artist, part of it is having had the opportunity to travel all over the world, and having had the opportunity to see some things that I wish I wouldn't have seen. It's just very difficult to be a writer, especially growing up with the influences that I've had. These writers, some of them are even on this record, and not speak about it. Even my first record talked about the sexual harassment that I endured. Even the second record talked about guns being sold at Walmart. Every record is basically a calendar of what was happening. It's just that the singles get played and they sound like pop songs and stuff, but it's always been in there.
Me: You mentioned being a mom, which I didn't know you were a mom. Congrats. How old are your kids now?
Sheryl: Twelve and nine.
Me: So, how do you talk to them about the world they're growing up in?
Sheryl: I'm pretty frank with them. I think it's a lot for a child to hold the idea that this perfect place they're growing up in because they don't know anything other is collapsing on itself environmentally. It's also tricky for me as a parent to be constantly saying never lie, treat each other with compassion and yet what's being modeled to them by the people in the highest offices it's not that. Even with social media it's hard as a parent if I'm trying to preserve their innocence I really have to police everything. Social media is already out of the question. My kids are not going to have social media to they're at least sixteen.
Me: I can't imagine having social media when I was a kid, can you?
Sheryl: No. I wish parents knew the anxiety and the depression that it causes. I think it will ultimately be something that parents hold off on hopefully. This is really an uplifting interview. Sorry. I feel like Bummer the Clown.
Me: Hahaha. It's all cool. Okay, so on the album you do a song with Stevie Nicks who I am sure influenced you and Maren Morris, who is a more recent singer, and I'm sure influenced by you. Why did you have "newer" people on the record?
Sheryl: Well, I wanted to do that. My influences continue to grow. I so inspired by Maren and I'm inspired by Chris Stapleton and Brandi Carlile and all these young artists. Some of them I've known for a long time. Let's see, I've know Chris for about eight years, I've known Brandi probably for thirteen. I feel they're continuing on with this tradition that is not based in the six second attention span thing.
Me: Was it cool to get Maren with Stevie?
Sheryl: Maren is like the little Stevie to me. She's like fierce, she's a great songwriter and goes out and delivers it to the audience like it's life or death and I love that. And no, I was not able to get them into a room together.
Me: Is it cool that the influence people like Kris Kristofferson and Stevie had on you you now have on the new generation of songwriters?
Sheryl: I can't do it! It's uncomfortable for me. If I'm influencing anybody for good that is awesome. I'm more comfortable in influencing young girls going in and produce themselves. I do feel like I wear my influences on my sleeve and certainly in all of my songs. So I'm constantly deflecting it by saying, "yeah, well, that's awesome." They're just hearing so and so in me or whatever.
Me: Do you do that when they say it to you to?
Sheryl: Stop it. Come on. It is uncomfortable for me but it is wonderful. I went and worked with the Highwoman recently and there was a lot of that "Sheryl Love Fest" and it felt uncomfortable but nonetheless we had a great time.
Me: So, is it true you were once a music teacher?
Sheryl: Yes, I was. And I got my college degree in classic piano and vocal.
Me: When you taught music in school did you dream about being a songwriter and performing on stage?
Sheryl: I would teach Monday through Thursday... I'd teach Monday through Friday but Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights I was in a band. As soon as I got out of college, I moved to St. Louis, I was engaged, I got a teaching degree, had a band, and then we split because I wasn't singing Christian music and he was a Christian. Then I wound up doing a commercial during the summer of my second year of teaching for a local guy and it was for McDonald's. It was out of Chicago, and it got picked up and went network, and I wound up making twice what I made in two years of teaching in 15 minutes.
Me: Would you have been happy if that's all you ever done?
Sheryl: I don't know what I was thinking, I was so naive. I literally got in my car and drove from St. Louis to L.A., I knew one person, I took my tape to every recording studio in Los Angeles. I got a little bit of work here, a little bit of work there. I overheard some singers talking about the Michael Jackson tour, I crashed it and went on the road with them. I just was constantly putting one foot in front of the other, not thinking about what was going to get me to that spot. It was always about what was going to get me to the next spot. And meanwhile, I was always writing and always playing in bands and I just loved it. I just wanted to sing and wanted to be around other people that did it.
Me: It's different now with people I think, I think nowadays people actually plan to get famous. Do you agree?
Sheryl: It's interesting, it's so different now because with social media someone could be so famous and have fifteen people write a song for them and I'm not sure at the end of the day what does that make them. It doesn't make them an artist... I don't know, maybe it does. Maybe they're redefining what artistry is. Maybe artistry is being an incredible brander and knowing who to get in the studio to create their song and autotune them. I don't know, it's hard to understand. That being said I loved being in a place where people were doing music, making music. That's what I loved.
Me: I remember my dad having your first CD and I heard "All I Want to Do" played in his home recording studio and I was like I love that song, it's so catchy. I borrowed his CD and then went and bought my own. When you hear the song being played what do you think now after all these years?
Sheryl: When I hear that song now, I hear the song that I thought was a throwaway. Up to the very last minute, it wasn't going to be on the record and my brother was like, "You got to put that on the record. That's the big song! That's the song my friends and I love." And then it wound up being the big song. So who knew?
Me: When did you know it became the big song?
Sheryl: I don't know if there was a moment. I guess we did Woodstock in 1994 before there Grammys and it was hitting then and people were recognizing it. I think that's when I knew.
Me: How did you feel?
Sheryl: Well, that was a game changer... Woodstock was. And obviously it was pre social media and all that stuff. When we came off the Woodstock tour and the buzz, I don't know what it was about it but there was such a big buzz about our performance and word kind of traveled and that kind of changed the trajectory. We were covered in a lot of magazines and newspaper and stuff. That changed everything.
Me: How do you feel now when you have to play all these hit songs?
Sheryl: There was a period where I thought "ugh, do I have to play that song?" I think that happens to the best of them. It's like I want to play the stuff that has more meaning for me. I'm at a point now in my life, I'm very open to the fact that I'm 57 and I love it. I love my age, I feel as young as I ever felt if not younger. I feel more intact with the person I was before I became "her."
Me: Do you think you're two different people? My dad was like two different people... he was Lonesome Dave on stage and just Dave at home all shy and stuff.
Sheryl: No, I'm not. I actually stole that from Emmylou Harris. Before she put her make-up on she said, "I got to go and become 'her.'"
Me: What did you think of the music business back then when you started out?
Sheryl: If I get on this trajectory that I just won Grammys now now I have to make a record that's as good if not better and sells more. And the third record I have to make a record that's different then the second record. There's all this calculations and emasculations that go into a career. At least back then with pre social media.
Me: So, what is it like now for you?
Sheryl: I'm pretty much at a point in my life where I'm completely liberated because nobody is that concerned with what I do and I'm certainly not poo-pooing that, I'm celebrating that. I love that while I hate what technology has done to albums I love that it's giving space to everybody. I'm not competing in the 13 to 25-year-old demographic that pop is. But I can also do what I want to do and say what I want to say and wrote about the things I want to write about. I know there is an audience out there that can relate to what I'm writing about. Because it's the real life stuff, it's the hard stuff, but there's also some fun stuff in there.
Me: So you don't mind getting up there and singing the hits?
Sheryl: Not only I don't mind it I enjoy it and I feel am overwhelming sense of gratitude. I know that sounds super hokey but it's been so energizing particular in the last seven years to be out with this band, all the people I love and I just feel so grateful to be doing it still.
Me: I have to tell you one of my favorite songs you released is "If It Makes You Happy." I have a live album of yours on vinyl and I get so excited when I hear that song. A lot of people love to cover that song. What is it about that song that is so popular?
Sheryl: I think that song, at the moment when it came out, was the big "fuck you" song. It was in the Britney Spears movie, which I had a funny conversation with my sister about because her daughter was like 12, and my sister said, "I am not letting her go to that movie because it's all about Britney Spears losing her virginity." And I was like, "Yeah, but my song is in it!" I don't know what it was, I think it was just anthemic, it was like girl power.
Me: Sheryl, why am I hearing "Threads" might be your last record?
Sheryl: It's not a sad thing. I love making records, I've loved producing my records, I've loved producing other people. I grew up holding records, and studying them, and sharing them with my friends, and dropping the needle and all that stuff. But making a record is not only time-consuming and expensive, it's emotional. And when you're a songwriter and you've spent all this time compiling a body of work... it's part of the arc of a record, but when people listen to it, they're just going to cherry-pick songs, they're going to put it on playlist, they won't download the whole record, they probably won't even own that whole record. They'll just hear certain songs. It's a little counterintuitive to want to spend that time making a full artistic statement that no one's ever going to hear as an artistic statement. So I love that this is my last full artistic statement and I love that it's sort of, I don't know, it's kind of retracing my history through all my threads and forward. But I also love the idea of just being able to put out a song and not have to wait for a whole album's worth of work to follow it.
Me: So this is it... the last Sheryl Crow LP?
Sheryl: I think it will be. Never say never, but I think it might be the last record.
Me: So, do you think young artists shouldn't make records, just singles?
Sheryl: I always say when I'm asked this any young artist should not want to make a record. I don't want to make records, I want to take a break from that. I don't know, maybe someday I will come back and make a record. To me it feels final... this album. In the most beautiful gratitude way possible. Art matters. It's the thing that documents who we are. Like hieroglyphics.
Me: Sheryl, this was so cool to have you here on the Phile. I only waited 11 years or so. Please come back again soon.
Sheryl: Thank you for having me.
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and of course Sheryl Crow. The Phile will be back tomorrow with Todd McFarlane. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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