Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday.... it's December already, can you believe that? Did your kids Elf on the Shelf come back yet? These kids need Elf Elf on a shelf to behave? That's cure. I had belt on a shelf. Let's start off with a fun story, shall we? When Dakota Johnson appeared on "Ellen" last week, chances are neither she nor the show's host thought their interview would go this viral. The actress was on to promote a new movie, and people are obsessing over the "awkward" interaction she had with the host. Ellen asked Dakota why she wasn't invited to Dakota's birthday... but Dakota insisted that she was. This led to an uncomfy exchange: It all started with Ellen insisting she "wasn't invited" to Dakota's birthday in October. "Last time I was on the show, last year, you gave me a bunch of shit about not inviting you but I didn't even know you wanted to be invited," Dakota said. "Who doesn't want to be invited to a party?" Ellen asked, and Dakota responded, "I didn't even know you liked me." Ellen then insisted that she does like Dakota... and Dakota said she did invite Ellen. "Ask everybody," she said. "Ask Jonathan, your producer." Ellen asked why she didn't go, then joked that she "had that thing," and finally conceded that it was probably "too far" for her to go because it was in Malibu. Then she asked Dakota about Tig Notaro performing at the party, and Dakota called Tig her "favorite comedian." People are obsessing over the clip because they feel vindicated that Dakota called Ellen out, because Ellen's humor often springs from making guests feel uncomfortable. In fact, it's standard practice for Ellen to ask stars why they didn't invite her to their various parties. Turns out a lot of people are not big fans of Ellen's approach. Some are applauding Dakota and think she intended to blow up Ellen's spot the whole time. To quote the kids, "We have to stan." But the plot thickens even more: some people are speculating that Ellen skipped Dakota's birthday in order to hang out with George W. Bush at a football game. People think this might have been the source of Dakota's alleged shade. Do we really think this is what was going through Dakota's mind and not "let me muddle through this TV interview so I can go back to swan-diving into a pool of 50 Shades money"? Hmmm. Speaking of people who swan-dive into pools of money... do we REALLY think Ellen is bothered by this?! Sigh. Either way, lots of memes are springing up. It's an instantly iconic moment. Dakota Johnson is suddenly America's sweetheart.
Running a small business can bring up a complicated web of emotional and ethical questions. On one hand, it takes a lot more work and savvy to stay afloat if you don't have the cash of a corporation with huge investments. On the other hand, running a small business means you can call the shots and create a space that is more personal and community oriented. While a lot of corporate shops are swift to kick out homeless people even if they're genuinely looking around to find a space to hang out, small businesses often serve as a haven where neighbors can actually get to know each other and move past the judgments of classism. Particularly, during a time when income inequality is soaring and homelessness is on the rise everywhere. Statistically, most Americans are more likely to become homeless than rich. While the concept of treating our homeless neighbors like any other neighbor shouldn't be that complicated in action, there is still a lot of fear and stigma around homelessness. When the San Diego-based Nomad Donuts received a one star review from a customer who felt uncomfortable around Ray, a homeless man who regularly hangs out there, the owner gave a thorough and gracious response. The review read, "A homeless guy has lived (morning noon and night) against the front entrance for about a year. Really makes me feel great about spending $5 on a jelly donut." The owner Brad Keiller responded to the review with kindness but firm resolution in his decision to welcome Ray into the Nomad Donuts space. He wrote, "Hi, thanks for coming into the shop. We've appreciated your support over the years, even at the original one on 30th St! I'm sorry that Ray ruined your experience on your last visit. Know that he would like you to continue buying $4 donuts from Nomad everyday and doesn't want you to feel guilty about it." Brad kicked off his response by thanking the customer for being loyal throughout the years, and assured them that Ray has no intention of making people feel guilty for buying nice donuts. He then went on to share that he likes Ray, they speak everyday. Ray is a former computer programmer who is kind and respectful and because he knows the neighborhood so well he's helped keep away some of the people high on drugs. "Because he is able to camp out under the coverage of the shop's slabs," Brad wrote, "Ray is able to stay dry and much warmer at night." Brad ended the response by saying that he understands that if the customer took the time to talk to Ray, they'd likely get along with him as well. What makes this response work so well is that Brad centered Ray as an individual while also inviting the customer to engage a compassionate perspective on their homeless neighbors. Given the obscene amounts of wealth in the United States, it's a gigantic humanitarian failing that there are any homeless people at all. There are more than enough resources to house and rehabilitate people, we'll just have to pry it from the cold, dead hands of the super rich.
Louisville Metro Police Department officer John Burgraff alleges he was subjected to inappropriate remarks by fellow officers and passed over for a promotion after revealing he was gay at a 2017 police youth program. He was also accused of being a pedophile. Now Burgraff is suing the city of Louisville and the police, citing discrimination because of his sexuality. The lawsuit was filed at Jefferson Circuit Court on behalf of Burgraff last week. According to WDRB, the suit claims Burgraff was mistreated after he came out to the Youth Police Advisory Committee, which aims to bridge the gap between law enforcement and the young community through discussions promoting trust and understanding. Burgraff introduced himself to the teens as the LMPD LGBTQ+ liaison. But Lt. Phil Russell, the department’s commanding officer for the Media & Public Relations Unit felt that Burgraff revealed too much information to the teens in light of an unrelated investigation into the department regarding a sexual exploitation scandal. Burgraff felt the repercussions of outing himself at the mentorship meeting the following day. He claimed that Russell ordered Sgt. Corey Robinson to reprimand him for coming out to the YPAC. The suit says Russell implied Burgraff’s behavior bordered on one that was pedophilic in nature. “He claimed his remarks were not appropriate for a youth event, and that Officer Burgraff was looking at a young male inappropriately.” It also added that Burgraff had been “looking lustfully or suggestively at a boy in the audience.” An open investigation was launched after Burgraff reported Russell’s comments to the chief’s office. However, Police Chief Steve Conrad said Russell’s charge of Burgraff making “inappropriate comments” was not sustained, meaning there wasn’t enough sufficient evidence of prejudice. The suit also mentioned that Burgraff took a vacation to avoid working with Russell who remained as his commanding officer in the Community Policing Unit. When Burgraff returned to work in January 2018, he expressed his concerns to Major Andrea Brown about being required to report to Russell. In response, Brown told him that the other officers agreed that what Russell said “was not that bad.” Burgraff was also denied an update on the PSU investigation and was refused to be given a copy of the report and files. He also believes he was passed over for an opportunity to transfer to the Public Information Unit. WDRB reported that the lawsuit seeks a jury trial and unspecified monetary damages. The lawsuit follows a similar incident in which St. Louis County Police Sgt. Keith Wildhaber... who is openly gay... was warned to “tone down his gayness” and was passed over for a promotion. What is wrong with people?
It's no secret that major productions still end up with a few unmistakable errors. For instance, no one will ever forget that a coffee cup showed up in Winterfell. Interestingly, a less-obvious mistake happened in the fourth episode of the Star Wars series "The Mandalorian" when a boom mic appeared in the shot. An eagle-eyed fan had pointed out the error in a YouTube video. The boom mic appears in a scene between Mando and Omera and once you spot it, its pretty hard to miss. Okay, so I didn't really notice the boom mic since this is a pretty intimate scene between Mando and Omera and I was actually learning new things about the bounty hunter. It isn't exactly a glaring mistake like a coffee cup in plain sight so I guess it shouldn't be much of a big deal. "Chapter Four" offered some interesting new details about Mando as he revealed to Omera that he has never removed his helmet in front of other people since he was a child. In addition to that, he confirmed that he was taken in by the Mandalorians after the death of his parents. The second revelation is a bit of a mystery since it sounds like Mando is disassociating himself with the Mandalorians. Could this mean he might not actually be from Mandalore himself? Hmmmm.
Speaking of Star Wars... For most of the Star Wars fans and for those who grew up watching and loving everything about the franchise, to be able to witness how the Skywalker Saga wraps up and how The Rise of Skywalker will turn out is one of the highly-anticipated moments of their lives. Unfortunately, not all of us don’t have time on our side, especially for a terminally ill fan whose dying wish is to watch Episode IX. Rowans Hospice made a plea on Twitter earlier last week, where he asked anyone who “might be able to make it happen” for the dying fan to watch the film with his young son. Tagging notable names from the franchise, Mark Hamill responded to the fan. The actor said Hospice should contact Disney, because “they are the only ones who can make this happen,” and wished him good luck. And after just around three days, Disney CEO Bob Iger made a tweet regarding the matter. He revealed that Disney would be “grateful” to share the movie with the patient and his family. “May the force be with you and with us all!” Iger wrote. It’s certainly heartwarming to see Disney, the greatest company to work for ever, granting the fan’s wish so that the patient could still be able to make memories and share this moment with his young son and the rest of his family. This gesture really is life-changing and I’m sure it meant the world for the Star Wars fan.
Maybe not. So, today's guest Chrissy Metz is on the popular TV show "This Is Us." Did you know the show originally had another name? No? Check it out...
Yes, I cried during the last episode. Damn show. Do you like Twinkies?
Told ya. If I had a TARDIS I would go back in time and try to meet Alfred Hitchcock again, but knowing my luck he'd be sleigh riding with his grandkids.
That's so funny!! So, have you looked at the Sears catalogue this season? If you're looking for boys pajamas check these out.
Okay, so, this Elf on a Shelf thing.. sometimes he goes a little bit too far...
It’s almost Christmas! Lights are up everywhere, most restaurants, stores, and public places are playing Christmas music, and we are all getting into the season, whether we like it or not.
But most people do love Christmas, and in fact, 46% of Americans say it’s their favorite holiday of all. And whether it’s the food, the friends and family, or the traditions, there’s a little of everything during Christmas time. So, here is a pheature called...
It all started in 1966 when a 13 meter tall Yule Goat was first built in the center of Gävles Castle Square for the Advent. This Swedish tradition seemingly spurred another tradition, but not in a good way. Apparently after it is constructed, people try to burn it down. Because of this, since 1966, it has been successfully burnt down 29 times, most recently in 2016.
Put the window insulation kits on. You lose up to 55% of your homes heat through windows.
This will drastically help your electric bill and minimize the draft.
Tired
Hungry for sleep
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so there's this inventor who likes to come on to the Phile and tell us what his new inventions he's been working on are. He says he has a few more so please welcome back to the Phile...
Me: Hey, Mak, welcome back to the Phile. How are you?
Mak: I am great, Jason. How are you?
Me: Not bad. So, what have you been working on?
Mak: This one men would love... tampons for men.
Me: Ummm... how would that work exactly?
Mak: You just shove...
Me: Never mind. What else do you have?
Mak: Just in time for the holidays how about flavorless jelly beans?
Me: Ewe! That would be gross.
Mak: Oh, well. Well, that's all I have.
Me: Well, that was very lame. You need to get back into the lab and work on some other stuff.
Mak: I will, Jason. Back to the lab!
Me: Mak Asterborous, the world's greatest inventor, kids. Or so he says.
Donald Trump, a very sane President of the United States who is extremely tethered to reality, shared a photo of himself that may or may not have been Photoshopped.
With no context other than the narcissism he's displayed over several decades, Trump tweeted out a picture of his septuagenarian head on Rocky Balboa's body and it is at once pathetic, hilarious, and terrifying.
This is what he says when he looks in the mirror, isn't it? What's the official term for whatever the opposite of body dysmorphia is? Is it normal for the president to share fake thirst traps of themselves? Raging Bullshit.
The Priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the Priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of him!"
The dying man said nothing.
The priest repeated his order.
Still the man said nothing.
The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"
The dying man said, "Until I know for sure where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."
Today's guest is an American actress and singer. She is known for playing Kate Pearson in the NBC drama "This Is Us" and is the author of This Is Me: Loving the Person You Are Today, the 109th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club. Please welcome to the Phile... Chrissy Metz.
Me: Hey there, Chrissy, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Chrissy: Hi, Jason, great to be here. Thanks for asking, I am good.
Me: So, when you auditioned for the role of Kate Pearson what was going on in your life at that time?
Chrissy: Oh, my goodness. Not much. I was living with a friend who graciously let me move in with her and really believed in me before I believed in myself. She was like, "I know what's going to happen. Don't worry, you'll pay me back, I know you're good for it." So I was pay check to pay check on unemployment and that week I literally tried to pay all my bills and just stay on top of everything and then of course that was left was 81 cents. I had to borrow gas money to go to the audition and I didn't have 20 dollars in my bank account to cover the gas which they won't let you pump unless you do. So I had to borrow the money even to just get to the audition.
Me: So, were you desperate? I guess you were, right?
Chrissy: I wasn't desperate but I really, really wanted it for many reasons.
Me: You were on "American Horror Story" before "This Is Us," right?
Chrissy: Yeah, but there was a lull before "American Horror Story" where nothing was happening and I thought oh, my gosh, maybe I should move back to Florida. It was a really, really trying time because I'm not a spring chicken, I'm not getting any younger, and I really wanted to be part of something we now know is special belong belief.
Me: Where in Florida are you from?
Chrissy: Homestead.
Me: Oh, cool. I have good friends that live in Homestead. Ever been to Robert Is Here?
Chrissy: Oh, yes! I love that place!
Me: The milkshake counter is the best! Okay, so, what was it like when you felt you got the part in "This Is Us"?
Chrissy: Oh, I never felt I had it until I got the phone call from Dan Fogelman our writer and creator probably ten minutes later when I was in the parking structure, I didn't know which way I was gong and I was afraid to pick up the phone because I thought he was a bill collector. So it's not something I ever thought I had, it was just something I really wanted.
Me: How did your life change when you got that call?
Chrissy: Oh, first of all I was like oh my gosh, I could pay my bills, and pay my friend back. Then I was now I need to drive safe out of the parking structure. At this point I was so turned around and he was like, "We need you! Please be careful!" It was so incredible and it still hasn't really sunk in almost three and a half years later. But it's so interesting, people are like, "Oh, you booked a pilot you're like rich" but I was not, because there's a certain amount of money that I make and there's money I have to pay back. Bills that were never paid, blah blah blah. So then we hear a year later, or probably nine months later, where I'm still on unemployment, still trying to figure it out, and hoping and wishing the pilot gets picked up. I hope my life does change then hope to see if we get picked up for another season so it's a lot of hurry up and wait and could be really uncertain but luckily everybody received the show so well that it just been like lightning in a bottle and changed people's lives and is such a gift. It really, really is.
Me: It's so funny, I interview a lot of people with projects, movies, TV shows that I have not seen and yet here's a show that I have watched last season and this season. So, for the readers that never watched the show tell them who Kate Pearson is.
Chrissy: She's a person who struggles with confidence, and she struggles with her weight and the pain of having lost her father at a young age.
Me: What was it about Kate that spoke to you the most?
Chrissy: You know I was at a talent agent for nine years when I became an agents assistant when I first moved to L.A. and I knew what it was like to live in the shadows of people and to want something desperately but wasn't confident to believe that I could have it. I wanted to pursue music, it was my first love, but I was never supposed and encouraged so it was all these things that I didn't realize we had in common until it started to unfold. But when I read the pilot I was like, wow, I know what its like to be the second fiddle. I could so relate to that, being the diplomat in the family and I'm one of five children and she's the glue that holds the boys together, Kevin and Randall. And there as a lot of her story that I could really relate to. Real life experience too.
Me: A lot of people look up to you as Kate, do you feel any pressure being a role model?
Chrissy: Oh, no, I can't really take that on because I feel everyone is a role model. There are women who have multiple children with multiple jobs and are just trying to make ends meet. Those are role models. I think anyone who is inspiring to do anything they want to do against all odds is basically all of us, we're all struggling, we're all contending with something I don't put that on me, not because I'm just so humble but basically I'm just trying to figure this life thing out too and I think if I could be gracious and patient with myself I could do that with other people and it's a cyclical thing and I try to not get caught up in that. If I think I can inspire people than that is beyond more than I could ever ask for but I don't consider myself as a role model.
Me: Inspire people to do what?
Chrissy: Just believe in themselves and really find out what self love is because we're not taught that, it's not cultivated, it's always comparing and despairing, we're not tall enough, we're not smart enough, we're not skinny enough, all this we're not enough ness. And I try believe if we're on the plane of existence that we're purposeful, that's the reason why we're here and that's enough.
Me: So, the show "This Is Us" is famous for making people cry. Shit, I cried watching it, but then again I cry at Publix commercials. Do you understand why everyone cries over this show?
Chrissy: I get it.
Me: What do you mean you get it? What's that like to be on the other end of that?
Chrissy: You know, it's so layered because as an actor I want to be a part of something that changes most peoples hearts and their minds. I want job because I want to pay my bills so the cherry on top is that I am part of a show that from top to bottom is all of people with no eager, wanting to tell true life stories and shared them with people. That's the whole point of art, when we read our scripts and see the connections between these family members we're like wow, this is so true to life. It's brought my sisters and my family closer together and we've talked about things we've never even discussed before. It's not just about acting, it's not just a TV show, it's bringing people together and it's overwhelming and I'm just grateful I'm a part of it. I know what is happening and when I watch the show I still cry.
Me: Do you still have those kinda emotions when you're on set?
Chrissy: Oh, gosh, any time when we're really present in the moment and obsessed about the past, things we didn't do or scared about the future we're just present in that moment. I'm living my dream and I get to help people in the process. Sometimes it is overwhelming, I'll get emotional watching a scene from Sterling or Justin or anybody.
Me: On set when you're making it?
Chrissy: Yeah. Oh, sure. As we all know I'm very emotional and I'm an emotional girl and I feel things very deeply so sometimes I sit in gratitude and think this is life and sometimes I cry on the way to work. People think I'm joking and I'm like no, no, no, no, no, I'm so grateful. So, yeah, it can be really overwhelming.
Me: I watched the scene on-line where you're talking to your dad's ashes before you get married to Toby. Oh, shit, I teared up. What was it like filming that scene?
Chrissy: Awe, thanks. That just even being on that stump and in the middle of the woods where the cabin that they grew up in is and of course having the wedding at that cabin everything was so emotional in that episode and it was the finale of season 2 so there was like of course layers of emotion. That scene also I think is really hard when I was playing to an urn I didn't have anyone else in the scene to play off. I found it really difficult in so many ways and knew it was going to be important to so many people and I heard that time and time again and even a gal on my book tour said her father had passed away two months ago and they watched the show together and now she watches the show with his urn. I can't handle this stuff, like it's so beautiful that people share those things but I know how important it is. I'm so grateful that I get to play this character but it is difficult. It was also 25 degrees outside that day.
Me: In the book you say the relationship with your dad is nothing like you and Jack had on "This Is Us." How do you do that?
Chrissy: I really come from a place really wishing that I had that experience with my father and the emptiness of the lack of the relationship, which is ironic because of course it's all positive. But I also know that in my personal life that hurt people hurt people so I have to have forgiveness about peoples decisions where it was my biological father or my step-father and I have forgiven them and I have moved on. We all pull on from what we know mine just happens to be sort of on the other end of the spectrum as far as the relationship with Kate and Jack.
Me: Your step-father physically and verbally abused you, so when you were writing the book did you think twice of including that?
Chrissy: Oh, definitely. Probably every day. I was like is this important, I never wanted anyone to feel I'd thrown them under the bus because that's not my intention and I always go back to what is my intention. Initially I didn't forgive him for myself, my own sanity, than I realized if he knew better he would do better. And he did eventually apologize and was really encouraging and wrote a letter and said he supports me and is just amazed at my career. He could never do what I did, moving across country and following my dreams so I just can't give up on somebody I just don't believe that.
Me: This is just a stupid question but has your relationship with your TV dad made you think how the relationship with a father and daughter could work?
Chrissy: I think that's a beautiful relationship but not everybody has that relationship. That's okay because heat relationship and the things that happened to us actually happen for us. So my experience is I'm so glad this story is being told from a Kate and Jack perspective because they are people who think that their father was never this way. There's all these questions that come up and for me personally they just come up in a very different way because I have a very different experience. I think the relationship is so beautiful and listen, everybody wants to be Jack or be with him or be his child. I get that, really do.
Me: Not me. I want to be Kevin. He's rich, good looking, young and famous. You were never in a scene with Jack, right?
Chrissy: In the wedding episode, the season finale of season 2 I was in scenes with him.
Me: Ahhh. so, what was that like?
Chrissy: Well, it was our finale, it was a wedding but then we saw that Kate had a dream sequence and so when we were reading the script before we started to prep and get into it I was excited because I knew how everybody else was going to love it just to see Kate and Jack in the same scene. Also to see what could have been and to see him at 66-years-old and handsome as ever, just a little grayer. It was just really special and also I just love Milo and we're friends of course outside of work and working with him was just so much fun and also was really tender. It meant a lot because it seemed that it just took forever but I think that's what made it even more special and the way they told the story.
Me: That's cool. I might have to go back and watch the first few seasons. Chrissy, thanks so much for being on the Phile. Please come back again soon.
Chrissy: Thanks, Jason. You are so kind and this was special.
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Chrissy Metz for a great interview. The Phile will be back on Thursday with rapper M.I.A. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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