Pheaturing Terry Ilous

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? Another day, yet another bursting opportunity to make fun of Don Jr.'s aspirations. The latest installment of Don Jr. memes present themselves as a beautiful series of artful interpretations of his book cover. If you have been living under a glorious rock, far away from the doings of Don Jr. (in which case please invite me to be your roommate), then I regret to inform you that he has a book slated to come out in November. In a truly on-brand Don Jr. move that borders on self-satire, the book is titled Triggered: How The Left Thrives On Hate And Wants To Silence Us. Remarkably, the book title wasn't lifted directly from an "SNL" sketch (or in Don Jr.'s words... an "S&L" sketch), but instead represents the literary vision of the president's son. His book doesn't come out until November, and at that point, I have full faith there will be a book's worth of memes pre-emptively roasting this cover.

Donald Trump may be the anti-Christ. But he and Jesus do have one thing in common: the ability to make miracles happen. Jesus turned water into wine. And Trump is accomplishing a similarly impossible feat: turning Republicans into Democrats. The latest Republican to abandon the "Grand Old Party" (they're right about "old") is prominent judge Elsa Alcala, who served as a Republican judge in Texas' highest courts for 20 years before her recent retirement. Alcala, a loyal Republican for two decades, is citing Trump's racism as her reason for deciding to vote Democrat in 2020. In a scathing Facebook post, Alcala explains her reason for leaving the GOP, and also skewers Republicans who have defended Trump's racism on the grounds that he's on the "right" side of other issues. And oh, lord, she did not hold back. She writes, "It has taken me years to say this publicly but here I go. President Trump is the worst president in the history of this country. I have had long discussions with friends who support him who say, 'He is an embarrassment on x but he's been great about y and the Democrats are terrible about z.' Even accepting that Trump has had some successes (and I believe these are few) at his core, his ideology is racism. To me, nothing positive about him could absolve him of his rotten core." Alcala says that she cannot support the Republican Party since it supports Trump, and that she is absolutely unwavering in her decision. She goes on to explain that she's grateful to the Republican party for supporting her in the past, but "that is no more." She also calls out "pro-lifers," saying Republicans have "no moral high ground on the value of life" if they support Trump, whose actions are "resulting in the deaths of live humans." She ends her post by saying the U.S. as a country is "better than this" and that any of the Democratic presidential candidates are "superior to the status quo." Wow. This is a scathing indictment of Trump if there ever was one. Kudos to Elsa Alcala for choosing truth, ethics and humanity over party. And also for switching to the better party. You can view the whole post here...

It's been a rough time for physically and emotionally stunted misogynists. A wee man in Long Island got tackled and went viral after raging in a bagel store about how nobody wanted to date him. The patron saint of short whiners, Ben Shapiro, continues to make it his mission between Islamphaphobic rants to undermine the success of the U.S. Women's National Team at the World Cup. He's especially salty about the iconic status of team co-captain Megan Rapinoe, whose awesome meme-generating swagger and earnest plea for an America for everyone make him feel smaller than he already is. A recent-rant on his show he named after himself argues that Rapinoe, while a talented soccer player, is only getting big contracts because she is "a very outspoken lesbian." Imagine thinking that the world was easy for outspoken lesbians and they have everything handed to them. To Shapiro, the movements for acceptance and gay rights are a conspiracy so Rapinoe can make money. He word-vomited, "All of this is obnoxious but we're supposed to pretend that actually she is quite charming and wonderful, that it's not obnoxious to live in the best time for women, the best time lesbians, and the best time for women's soccer in the history of the world, and in the best country in the history of the world for any of those things, we're supposed to pretend that actually she is a victim and America is a terrible place so that she could make more money, presumably." Pretty gross. In the same episode, Shapiro insisted that Rapinoe and her team are only as talented as his fellow 13-year-old boys. "I certainly have no particular love for women's soccer," he said, "Mainly because I care about skill level, and women's soccer isn't at the skill level of men's soccer, not even really teenage boy's soccer, in any case." He also argued that the women don't deserve equal pay because they don't sell as many tickets. Keep in mind that women's soccer is barely advertised unlike men's soccer, so that metric isn't an equal playing field to begin with. For someone who doesn't care about women's soccer, he sure cares a lot about women's soccer. The fact that Rapinoe has a love life and a personality doesn't undermine her accomplishments an athlete. In the game of contracts, Shapiro is the one who is all schtick, no substance.
As Trump's reelection campaign kicks off with the promise of even more racism, a federal court in New York released documents on one of the crimes that helped him get into office in 2016. New materials in the Michael Cohen case reveal that the FBI believed Donald Trump to be closely involved in a scheme to transfer and hide hush-money payments to Stormy Daniels, a campaign finance violation for which Cohen is now in prison. The court documents reveal the FBI's search warrants for Cohen's many crimes, which include bank fraud (boring) and stuff with taxi medallions (everyone uses Uber). But the most interesting and salacious is what is referred to as "The Illegal Campaign Contribution Scheme," and it outlines how in the fallout of the Grab Them By The Pussy tape, Trump and his minions sought to silence Stormy Daniels from telling her story about having an affair with Trump while Melania was nursing Barron. The extent to which the president was involved in the scheme has been previously undisclosed. The unsealed documents include a tick tock on how the scheme was enacted and hidden, and the previously undisclosed ways in which Trump and Hicks were directly involved. October 27th, 2016 Cohen made the payment of $130,000 to Keith Davidson, Stormy's lawyer, "for the purpose of securing her ongoing silence with respect to the allegations that she had an extramarital affair with Trump." For some reason, it's a Department of Justice tradition that a sitting president cannot be indicted, leaving the power of accountability up to the Congress. While Trump will continue to roam free and golf and spew hate from a podium, these docs are bad news for Hope Hicks. The former model-turned-White House employee (no, not Ivanka, the other one), told the House Judiciary Committee just last month that she knew nothing. That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets. Remember the time Bill Clinton was impeached for lying about an affair? Those were the days.
Planned Parenthood is under attack by the current administration, and by many anti-abortion protestors, largely because the organization has become associated with the polarizing issue of abortion. But the reality is that, while some Planned Parenthood clinics do provide abortion services to women, this only makes up about 3% of the services they provide. As the leading provider of reproductive health care in the country, the organization provides care to 2.4 million people each year, many of whom wouldn't otherwise be able to afford it. Their services include: birth control, emergency contraception, clinical breast exams, cervical cancer screening, pregnancy testing, prenatal care, testing and treatment for sexually transmitted diseases, sex education, vasectomies and LGBT services. Planned Parenthood's main goal is to prevent sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies, which ultimately leads to fewer abortions. A woman named Autumn Mizer recently shared a post on Facebook about how Planned Parenthood saved her life, and the abuse she had to endure by protestors on her way to a cancer screening. The post highlights how invaluable the organization is, especially to people who don't have the resources to afford lifesaving health care. Autumn first went to Planned Parenthood when she was 17 with no insurance and "couldn't even afford tampons." They provided her with long-lasting birth control, free of charge. Two months ago, at age 21, Autumn returned to Planned Parenthood after being given the terrifying news that there was a "high chance" she had late term cervical cancer. On her way into the building to get tested for cancer, Autumn was harassed by protesters who "threw stuff at the building" and "insulted" her, calling her a "murdering bitch." The "real kicker" she says, is that the clinic she went to doesn't even offer abortion services. The clinic discovered that Autumn had an internal infection that could have killed her if they hadn't spotted it. They also didn't charge her for tests and helped her pay for 90% of the medication. As Autumn points out, Americans' tax money doesn't actually go towards Planned Parenthood performing abortions. Instead, that funding allows Planned Parenthood to help women like her receive health care services they desperately need. She is one of countless women whose lives have been saved by the organization that opponents call "evil." Men, too, have benefitted from Planned Parenthood's services. After Autumn's post was shared on imgur, both men and women are sharing their own experiences in the comments about how the organization has helped them and their loved ones. Seriously, if you're a person who's thinking about harassing people outside a Planned Parenthood, go do literally anything else instead. Take a walk. Read a book. Volunteer with kids in foster care. This illogical obsession with "saving" embryos is causing harm to living, breathing women.
Man, instead of doing this blog and talking about a poor woman being called "murderer" by Planned Parenthood protestors during visit to screen for cancer I should be listening to this record...

Hahahaha. Maybe not. I want o get him on the Phile though. Haha. Do you remember when Ivanka Trump was on "The Muppet Show"? No? Check it out.

She pops up everywhere where she is not wanted. Her dad was in England not long ago and my fellow Brits sure had some fantastic anti-Trump protest signs.

"You're worse than Morrissey." Haha. Poor Morrissey. Ever go to a museum and see yourself in a painting? This guy did...

So, I was thinking about getting another tattoo but someone had the same idea I had...

That's fucking scary. Okay, if you're thinking about cheating on your loved ones you might want to think twice after seeing this...

Hmmm... I hope you could read that. So, I mentioned Jr.'s new book at the top of this entry but what I didn't mention was the original title. Check it out.

Hahahaha. Now from the home office in New York here is...

Top Phive Rules You Should Follow
5. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
4. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."
2. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
And the number one rule you should follow is...
1. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

She's thinking "what happened to my life?" Okay, so, do you miss the 90s? Well, there's one guy who doesn't and that's because he still lives in the 90s. Please welcome back to the Phile...

Ed: My, my, my, I'm once bitten twice shy baby. Hey, what's bangin', man? It's great you have Terry Illous here. Great White rules.

Me: That's great, Ed. So, what is new?

Ed: I was asked the other day if I was on Tinder...

Me: What did you say?

Ed: Tinder? I have no idea what that is. But I saw this babe I liked at the club and I gave her this...

Me: No. You. Did. Not. How old are you, Ed?

Ed: Fifty-six. Why?

Me: Sigh. Never mind. So, did she check any off?

Ed: Nope, she laughed at my face and walked away. She's playing hard to catch.

Me: Ha! Sure she is.

Ed: Alright, I would hang but gotta go, man. See ya.

Me: Ed Enistink, the guy who lives in the 90s, kids.

Ha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know.

Haha. That is great.

This is so freaking cool! The 102nd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

I am so thrilled and excited. Mike and Adam will be on the Phile in a few weeks.

Eyedropper 
A clumsy ophthalmologist.

John Paul Stevens 
April 20th, 1920 — July 16th, 2019
In the matter of Grim Reaper v. Stevens, the finding is for the plaintiff.

Today's guest is a French musician who founded the hard rock band XYZ, sang with Great White and has his own solo rarer. His latest solo album "Gypsy Dreams" is available on Amazon and Spotify and Play Music. Please welcome to the Phile... Terry Ilous.

Me: Hello, Terry, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Terry: Hello, Jason, I am good.

Me: You're originally from France... ugh. Ha. Do you still live there?

Terry: I live in Los Angeles. Where do you live and where are you from, Jason?

Me: I live in Orlando, Florida and I was born in London, England but grew up on Long Island. So, you're a pretty good singer, Terry. Who is one of your favorite singers?

Terry: Lou Gramm... he's a pretty amazing singer. He has so much soul, what's not to like about his voice. Despite what happened to him unfortunately with his health and everything, I remember one year he emailed me out of the blue, I was blown away receiving an email from him. At that time Foreigner was looking for a replacement. That was before Kelly Hansen joined the band. I was able to audition for the band and obviously I didn't get the gig.

Me: Why didn't you?

Terry: What happened is I didn't sound enough like Lou. I didn't want to sound like him in fact, I love him, I love his voice. I just wanted to be myself. And Mick Jones sent me a nice message. Mick said I did a great job but they're going to pass. They were looking for something else. What I realised later was he was looking for someone who sounded just like Lou. He ended up getting Kelly. Kelly's doing a wonderful job, he's such a great singer. He sounds just like Lou, which is great, that's what they were looking for. Anyway, Lou sent me a message and he said he heard I auditioned for Foreigner. I was blown away, oh my God, Lou Gramm. I replied I didn't get the gig because I didn't sound like him, I have my own sound and I don't think I was what they were looking for. He said, "That's good. Actually I appreciate that, actually." I was awe struck. He was happy I didn't sound like him.

Me: Are their any modern singers you like?

Terry: Some of the singers of the 70s are better than today's singers, to be honest with you. Seventies and eighties singers were better. Nowadays everybody sounds alike.

Me: What do you think is the big difference between singers from back in the day and modern singers?

Terry: I watch "American Idol," or some of these shows. All the singers sound alike. They're great singers by the way, they're all wonderful singers. Jesus Christ, they don't have that sound, where I listen to those guys from the 70s... Lou Gramm, Steve Perry, your dad, all those cats, they had something because they all grew up listening to different things. If every day you eat ice cream, vanilla ice cream, you'll only know about vanilla ice cream. You won't know about pistachio, you won't know about anything else. In the 60s music was better, as far as I'm concerned the 60s and 70s were the best ever. The 6os had some great stuff with Elvis and the rock and roll era. Buddy Holly, and all those guys. Nowadays singers have lost that special thing with that sound.

Me: What about the music in the 90s, Terry, when you were in XYZ?

Terry: In the 90s they all sounded like pirates. I hated the singers in the 90s, they were horrible. I wouldn't say "horrible," I shouldn't say that. Not my cup of tea, how about that?

Me: Hahaha. You might have a point. Okay, what music did you grow up listening to in France? 

Terry: I grew up listening to the music from the 60s and 70s, I'm an old cat, I'm not afraid to say it. Believe it or not, I grew up listening to Motown. My favourite singers back then were James Brown, Sam Cooke, Teddy Pendergrass, Ray Charles of course. Then I moved on to rock. If you think about it most of the singers like Steve Perry actually listened to the same thing. We all grew up listening to Sam Cooke, Teddy Pendergrass, the O'Jays and all those guys. I know I sound like an old man when I say that but it's the truth. These were the roots to me, the early ones, like the Faces and all that stuff. 

Me: Cool. So, let's talk about your album "Gyspy Dreams," which is an album of covers. I like this album. What made you do those songs like you did?

Terry: Thank you, Jason. There's no way to do a song that's been done by somebody else, that's better than the original artist. I gave it it's own twist, and even that the song is not going to be perfect. Why do we do a song that's been done by somebody else, why do we do a song exactly like the way it was done, what do we expect to achieve? Take an example for an example... Joe Cocker. I don't know if you like Joe Cocker, but I do. He's brilliant. When he sang at Woodstock "With A Little Help From My Friends," he blew away everybody because he came up with something different. I thought, my God, I love that version. Now when I listen to Ringo Starr, I think it was Ringo singing that song, God, it sounds so... weird. I have to be honest with you, I don't like it. I like Joe Cocker's version better. This album is something I wanted to do.

Me: How did you make the decision to go with a little bit of Latin sound?

Terry: I was born in Europe. My dad was from Spain, in Barcelona. When I was a young kid my parents would take me to enjoy watching flamenco dancers, and flamenco guitar players. We were 10 or 11-years-old, we would go to restaurants with all our family members and we would watch the dancers and the flamenco guitar players and everything. My dad was a guitar player, my dad was a jazz/flamenco player. He loved that kind of music. Through my dad I discovered all that Latin music, with the Brazilian rhythm and the Brazilian style. My dad told I need to listen with my heart, not with not with my ears. "Can you feel the music?" "I can, dad, I think I can." So, I always loved Latin music. Pure latin or Santana style, or whatever. When it was time to record the album I was playing around with my guitar and then it just came out naturally. Oh my God, it was the sound I was looking for. That was it.

Me: How did you get the musicians, Terry? Did they also have the background in that style of music?

Terry: I was lucky enough to be invited to do a cruise called Monsters of Rock. I don't know it you're aware of it, it's a big rock and roll cruise. My manager at the time when I was with XYZ said can I perform and I said I'll be happy to perform. I know a couple of musicians that were doing metal songs like Iron Maiden and everything, but were doing it flamenco style. They didn't do anything, the way they were written, they just used acoustic guitars. I told them I would love to jam with those guys and the guitarist Luis Villegas asked me what song I wanted to do and I said "Heaven and Hell." "Heaven and Hell"? He asked how we were going to do that. I said I didn't know, I just feel it. I picked up my acoustic guitar, we started jamming and he looked at me and said, "I think we should do it." So that very same night it was announced I was going to do a song with those guys and the audience was so memorized. I'm just saying the audience was surprised, which is a better word. The audience was surprised and I was surprised on how much they loved it. They loved the performance so immediately I said, "Would you love to do an album?" They said yes, but unfortunately it took 5 years to put together. Time flies, I was touring with Great White, they were touring on their own, life goes on. I got a kid, I have a family, I'm married so 5 years later I decided to get the guys together and said I got the money so let's go and record the album.

Me: How did you pick those songs for the record?

Terry: I've got tremendous respect for the artists that wrote those songs. I'm a huge Don Henley fan, I think he's brilliant. I love Peter Gabriel, I love Ronnie James Dio, and all those guys. I love them and respect them so much what they achieved. I wanted to rerecord those songs and be respectful, but give it their own twist, that's all.

Me: I was surprised when I saw the track list, Terry. You have "Heaven and Hell," "Whole Lotta Love" and "Ride Like the Wind," the Christopher Cross song. I was like, what the hell, but it sounds great on that album. Why did you chose that song?

Terry: Thank you. I don't know if you remember when that song came out I was a kid and I thought oh my God, that song is brilliant. I love the ending with the guitar solo and everything. I love his voice. I picked up the guitar and I asked Luis, my guitar player, "What can we do with that particular song?" My musicians I have to tell you are really talented. It was very easy to put the songs together. 

Me: Did you do the arranging before you got to the studio or once you got to the studio?

Terry: We got together twice. We did two rehearsals, that was it. We went into the studio and recorded everything live. The only thing we didn't record live was my vocals because sound wise and performance wise I wanted more. I'm very picky, I take my time, I'm very slow when I record my vocals. I'm a child of the improvisation. I believe it's very important to improvise. I can't just over think stuff, especially when it comes to music. We went to Simon Phillips' studio, Simon Phillips is the drummer for the band Toto. We recorded the songs three times each and after that I was like that's great, guys, see you in a few months.

Me: Do you like recording "live" better, Terry?

Terry: Absolutely. Music is a feeling, I have to feel that. Music is an emotion, I play and sing and look at my guitar player and I could hear his sound and see his facial expression and everything. All that makes me want to act a certain way, or sing a certain way, or play a certain way. In the 80s we could not record live, the record company used to tell us we have to call one by one, we have to sound like this way and that way. In the 70s and 60s those cats were recording everything live, my friend. Led Zeppelin recorded their entire album in about three days. Mixed and recorded everything in five days. The first Zeppelin album in five days? That's just freaking classic, man.

Me: That is crazy. So, how do you think most people record now?

Terry: Most recordings are copy and paste. There would be a verse, they would play the guitar and done, copy that in the next verse. Why do that? Copying and paste they just lose the emotion on what they just did. Back in the day in the 80s when I used to record my choruses we were not allowed to copy and paste. I had to sing chorus number 1, chorus number 2 and chorus number 3.

Me: Are their any songs that you wanted to record or had recorded for this album but didn't put it on the album?

Terry: Yes, there was one song that didn't make it. Dio's "Rainbow in the Dark." We gave it a salsa Cuban vibe believe it or not. My guitar player came up with an arrangement and it was fantastic. But for some reason we had too many songs, too many Dio songs, so we had to cut one. If we get a chance to do another album this one is good to go. All I have to do is record the vocals and that is it. 

Me: The guys that play on the album, are they the same guys that go out on tour with you?

Terry: Some of them, yes. They all have their busy schedules, they all tour with known artists and stuff. One of my percussionists plays with Michael McDonald, and whenever he's not on tour with Michael McDonald he'll be doing things with me. As far as I'm concerned they all want to tour with me and I want to tour with them. They're all as old as fuck, but they're great.

Me: Haha. Me too. You have XYZ still, and you have this solo project... how do you fit everything in?

Terry: Well, I find the time. I do other things, I have a family as well, that takes a lot of my time. Music is a passion to me. I'm living my dream, my life has been amazing so far and I thank God every day for giving me this wonderful opportunity. I can always find the time.

Me: Terry, thanks so much for being on the Phile. I hope you come back when your next solo comes out. I hope this was a fun interview.

Terry: Thank you. I thank God and the universe I could do interviews like this and make good music. It's like sex, if you have sex with your girlfriend or wife and you enjoy it it's perfect, but if you don't God dammit it could be dreadful.

Me: Haha. Thanks. Terry. Take care.

Terry: Thank you very much, Jason.

That about it for this entry. Thanks to Terry for a great interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with comedian Hari Kondabolu who created a documentary The Problem with Apu. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye,

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon