Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Tuesday. How are you? Did you have a good Easter? I did. Well, rumor has it that Prince William pulled a Prince Charles and cheated on his wife... and that the infidelity is causing a royal rift between Wills and Prince Harry. Sunday was both Easter and Queen Elizabeth II's birthday, and neither of those were enough to keep the focus off of the reported feud. Rather than walk into church alongside his brother and sister-in-law, Harry strutted into St. George's Chapel (his wedding venue #tbt) with his cousin Autumn Phillips, the physical distance implying an emotional one. The Times of London is also reporting that William and Kate, threatened by Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle's increasing popularity, are floating having the Sussexes "exiled" to Africa as William prepares to become king. "There are discussions in palace circles about how do we harness Harry and Meghan and this tremendous global attention they get. How do we draw them back, because laying down the law and ticking them off doesn’t work at all," an "ally" told The Times. The Royals exist solely to be talked about, so rumors are a dime a dozen. What's notable about the two is that Prince William's lawyers are allegedly threatening any outlet that reports on the alleged affair, and the Palace isn't denying the Harry and Meghan Expulsion Plan. Harry and Meghan are said to "like the idea" of moving to an African country when the baby is born. The couple is known to bless the rains down in Africa.
It's been a few months since Valentines Day, but the gift of love is something that gives everyday. As you well know, love takes many forms, it presents itself in romantic relationships, family, friendships and passions, and one of the Internet's greatest love affairs is dragging Tomi Lahren after she tweets something cruel or incomprehensible. This year for Valentines Day, Lahren gave the Internet what we all didn't realize we wanted, a snarky tweet implying feminists neither find love or get laid. Undoubtedly, Tommy Laymen must have felt a rush of adrenaline when she hit send on this juicy hunk of cliche digital garbage.
Needless to say, Lahren's thinly veiled desire for attention was quickly met with a festive Valentine's Day dragging. But also, several women responded with genuine details of the romantic gifts their partners got them. Many even ask Tommy about her plans, which seem fairly non-existent based on the tone of her tweet. In fact, if anything, the "angry feminists" she targeted were far more gracious with Tommy on Valentines Day than merited. It seems pretty clear who the angry lonely one in this equation is.
Unless you've been living under a rock, it's safe to say you caught wind of the college admission scandal that got Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman arrested alongside dozens of other parents. In the weeks since the news broke, a lot of people have weighed in on the scandal, including but not limited to "SNL," the dark specter Kellyanne Conway, and now, in a recent interview, Kim Kardashian has also shared her thoughts on the debacle. During an interview with Van Jones on Saturday, Kardashian made it clear that she unequivocally disapproves of bribing her kids' way to the top. "If my kids couldn't get into a school, I would never want to use privilege to try to force them into a situation that they wouldn't thrive in anyway. I want my kids to be kind. I want my kids to be as grounded as possible. To buy your way into something just wouldn't benefit anybody," she told Van Jones. She went on to share how she hopes her decision to become a lawyer will help show her kids firsthand where hard work can land you. "I have my backpack, they have their backpack. They're studying, I'm studying. And them seeing that I have this filming career, and that I'm having makeup samples tested all over my arm, while I'm trying to read my flashcards. I hope they get inspired to know that they can put in the hard work." She finished by saying her current foray into college proves its never too late, but also you can't skip doing the work yourself. "And even though I'm in my late thirties and just finishing college, or attempting to do that now, it's never too late and there really is no easy way out," Kardashian concluded. Okay, I think I just proved I did minimal news research over the weekend. Hahaha.
On Friday Fox News reported that Belles's Smoking BBQ was facing backlash over t-shirts they were selling with the letters LGBTQ, generally used as an initialism standing for "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer," which they had changed to "Liberty, Guns, Bibel, Trump and BBQ." They offered their shirts up with this now deleted Facebook post.
Belle's Smoking BBQ owner Jamie Smith told Fox 19. “I posted the shirt for new swag and it just went out of hand and it got blowed up." Fox 19 reported he had sold nearly a 100 shirts, and then started advertising on Facebook to sell more. The Cincinnati Food Truck Association is also reviewing the situation. After the backlash Belle's issued a statement apologizing. “Belle’s Smoking BBQ apologizes if we have offended any groups, organizations or individuals with our shirts. We respect all beliefs and lifestyles and want no ill will towards anyone. We know each person has their own thoughts and beliefs but we are hurt that the people who are saying, ‘stop the hate’ are the ones coming at us with the harassing messages and threatening phone calls. Again we apologize for any hurt feelings and thank our supporters who truly know us." After issuing the apology Belle's reportedly ordered more shirts due to high demand. What do you think?
Whether or not you recognize the name Gavin DeGraw (he's a singer most famous for singing the "One Tree Hill" theme song), we can all agree that watching somebody slip and fall on ice in front of the entire world is one of life's few pleasures. After singing the national anthem at a Stanley Cup playoff hockey game, McGraw walked backwards and slipped forwards, and the video is a masterpiece I have watched approximately 71832 times. Here's a screen shot...
The fall is so good, I recommend experiencing it from multiple angles. So, if I had a TARDIS I would go to see Babe Ruth hit his 700th home run...
Darn it. Fox News contributor Lawrence Jones III is back at the border. I hope he's prepared...
Yup. He is. They say you can see some crazy sites at Wamart. I didn't believe it until I saw this...
Yeesh. Are you ready to see the new Avengers movie this week? I am but what's the deal with everyone's hair?
Oh, I see they changed the name of the movie as well. Hahahaha. That's so stupid. That's as stupid as...
You know I live in Florida, right? Well, there's things that happen in Florida that happen no whew else in the universe.
Sunday night in downtown Orlando, the Easter Bunny was on a different kind of hunt when he stumbled into a bar fight and offered his divine intervention. Luckily, this Easter Bunny didn't get pulled over by the real Easter Bunny for being an Easter Bunny impersonator.
"Mom.... dad.... I don't care about poor people." So, my son and I were talking about how we used to watch "Sesame Street" together when he was little. Either that show has changed or I was a bad dad.
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. So, there's this friend of the Phile who wants to come on and say something. I have no idea what she's about. Please welcome back to the Phile...
Me: Hello, Sister. How are you?
Sister Xtian: Hello. You people might not be going to Hell for reading this blog, but you might be going to a hand basket. What the fuck does that mean anyway? These are the important questions we fail to answer.
Me: Ummm... okay... and?
Sister Xtian: Peverett, how are your wonkas?
Me: My wonkas? What's a wonka?
Sister Xtian: I refer to testicles as "wonkas" because they're in between a willy and a chocolate factory.
Me: Ummmmm... I don't know what to say. My "wonkas" are fine. It's the heart that I'm concerned about.
Sister Xtian: Good. After you do this blog we'll have sex.
Me: I don't think so, Sister. Sister Xtian, the nun who doesn't give a damn, kids.
These costumes make perfect sense considering our children eat us alive.
Our president is at it again, being a toddler throwing a temper tantrum in the grocery store aisles of our country. In case any of his diehard Christian supporters were confused about whether or not he actually cared about the teachings of Jesus, Trump decided to make Easter all about his own accomplishments. Easter, the day that Christians celebrate because Jesus, a man who died for the sins of others, thought rich people were evil and championed for forgiveness and tolerance rose from the dead like Jon Snow should apparently be about the economy? Okay, Trump. Especially considering the attacks in Sri Lanka, it seems extra inappropriate that our president would decide to reward himself on a holiday so important to many of his most loyal supporters. In a tweet that is now getting roasted, Trump gave himself an Easter basket of compliments...
Is our economy the "talk of the world" or is the world just talking about us because we have an orange reality television star attempting to lead? This tweet would maybe be more understandable if it happened on Thanksgiving, a day of gratitude, but Easter isn't the time for narcissism. It's a time to watch Kate Upton dye eggs in her underwear.
You thought I was kidding. Better luck next time, Trump! I never thought I would recommend this to anyone, but maybe you should give the bible a read? Pretty sure Jesus would've hated everything you're doing.
The 97th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
Salman Rushdie will be the guest on the Phile next Tuesday. A week from today. Now for some...
Phact 1. Dogs have “incomplete cheeks,” which allow them to open their mouths wide but, conversely it also means that they can’t create suction like humans, resulting in scooping water backwards with their tongues.
Phact 2. Paul McCartney had jets emit dry ice to remove clouds from the sky so that he could perform “Good Day Sunshine” in sunny weather.
Phact 3. Even though Star Wars has an incredibly complex and deep universe, Yoda’s species was never named.
Phact 4. The American Library of Congress archives everything ever posted on Twitter by everyone, since its creation in 2008.
Phact 5. The most effective treatment for CDI (a bowel disease causing chronic diarrhea) is a fecal transplant, where poo from a healthy person is put in the infected person’s bum, thereby transplanting healthy bacteria into the digestive tract. It is 94% effective as opposed to 30% for antibiotics.
This is kinda cool. Today's guest is an American actor, singer and director, best known for his role as gullible but well-intentioned singer Warren "Potsie" Weber on the television series "Happy Days" from 1974 to 1984. Please welcome to the Phile... Anson Williams.
Me: Hey, Anson, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Anson: I'm great and it's great to be here.
Me: Okay, when I got the interview request from you I was like, did Anson write a book about his life? What does he have to plug? Then I found out it was something called Alert Drops. What is that and what does it do?
Anson: What it does is it stops one of the most major catastrophic problems we have in the country today. Everyone thinks it's drunk driving, medicated driving, they think it's guns, all of those are serious but what's right up there right after guns, and by the way ahead of drunk driving and medicated driving is drowsy driving. There are more deaths and more tragedies, more unnecessary damage of families than drink driving and medicated driving combined. The National Sleep Foundation studied in 2012 back then, more now, that they have found at least 161 millions drowsy drivers a year. One out of five admitted falling asleep at the wheel whole being drowsy, over one out of five accidents being created, twelve million dollars in damage on and on and on.
Me: So, what made you become to be a part of Alert Drops?
Anson: Well, what happened to me years ago I felt asleep at the wheel coming back from a hard directing day. I was directing "Slap Maxwell" and fell asleep in a desert area because that's where we were filming. I woke up in a cactus, thank god I didn't kill myself, but my uncle is Dr. Henry Heimlich who created the Heimlich maneuver. He's an expert on center connection of the body. When I told him what happened to me he explained when I cut up lemons, he explained how the critic acid with the sour lemon touched he top of the tongue the automatic reflex of the body is adrenaline. So then you're alert, with nothing in your system. Just like going to your doctor with getting your reflexes checked with a rubber mallet, for your legs and your arms... same thing here. The citrus acid from a lemon on your tongue will instantly tell your body to wake up. I did that for years and never had the problem again. Within those years I went into the problem solving product business and we've done a lot of wonder products. We were researching drowsy driving and we discovered everything I just talked about, how catastrophic it is and I called Dr. Heimlich and said, "What about if we put the right amount of sour lemon critic acid in a spray drop and just spray the top of the tongue when we felt tired." He got excited and said, "You have to do it, it's more powerful than a lemon and it will save lives." So we did, we created Alert Drops. It's all natural, it's literally citric acid, it's water, it's sour lemon, and it has a little thing to keep on the shelves good for a couple of years. That's it, when you feel tired you spray a little drop on your tongue, you're insanely alerted to be awake and it gives you time to get off the road so you won't kill yourself.
Me: What about energy drinks? They work as well, right? But Red Bull doesn't give me wings, it gives me he shits. Haha.
Anson: First of all energy drinks don't work. They're dangerous and what you think is working is really obstructed and it will make you more obstructed than aware. That's why the tragedy goes up every year. They're hurting the cause.
Me: What about coffee then?
Anson: Coffee: with caffeine it takes twenty minutes to take affect, you need to much to do the job, you get all shaky and it screws up your sleep pattern and it becomes a merry-go-round of this constant exhaustion. Whereas Alert Drops is instant alertness, nothing in your system, and nothing to ruin your sleep pattern. Not only is it good for drowsy driving so many people are using it as construction sites, doctors, lawyers, students in class. The problem in colleges a big percentage of students have an exhaustion problem fro studying and they take all these horrible products to try and stay awake to study. We've been finding great success with Alert Drops in colleges so whether it's drowsy driving or a job where you need to be absolutely alert, whether it's a student that needs to be alert and not ruin their health studying, or in sport in terms for getting up for a game, it's good for all of that.
Me: Well, I will buy some and will give it a shot and see if it works, Anson. What about if someone wants to try it and can't afford it?
Anson: I will say the same information that Dr. Heimlich told me, that saved my life through the years before we put Alert Drops to the civilized way too be able to do the same thing either have cut up lemons in your car that you can bite into when you feel exhausted or a hot pepper. Those two things will affect the lingual nerve of the brain to have a reflex reaction adrenaline of the body. Only that hot pepper and sour citrus with citrus acid, those are the only two things that will do it. So, either buy Alert Drops and have it there or please god, cut up some lemons and keep them in the car.
Me: Where can someone buy Alert Drops?
Anson: Go to Alertdrops.com and they can find out all about it. The science behind it is very old, citric acid and sour lemon and all that is very old. MIT did studies about it years ago. We didn't create anything, we just made it very civilized for people to take. It's total science, it''s been proven, it's your own body awaking our body, it's natural, it's nothing in your system, and if you want to go directly to buy the product go to Amazon.com. There's all different ways you can buy the product, if you want to buy it for your business if you buy twelve the product is half price. There'a about 80 sprays per bottle so it'll last for at least a month. It's very reasonable.
Me: Cool. Here'e what Alert Drops looks like...
Me: Okay, let's talk about stuff you are known for, Anson, When did you decide you want to get into acting?
Anson: Oh, gosh, it actually started in music. I started doing all the talent nights when I was 18-years-old around L.A, where I sang badly for free. One thing led to another, I got into summer stock and I guess it was musical theater that started the whole thing.
Me: Was Potsie on "Happy Days" your first role?
Anson: No. I actually done quite a few things before that. Most of it concerned boyfriends. It literally be five pages and I had five lines. I was the best reactor in television. They always cut to me nodding. I did "Marcus Welby M.D.," "Owen Marshall, Counselor at Law," a huge Hallmark Hall of Fame movie special back then, I did about 32 commercials, I had quite a bit under my belt by the time I did "Happy Days."
Me: Did you have to audition for "Happy Days"? How was that?
Anson: I did, and I almost missed it because it was pouring rain and this was in the 70s, we didn't have cell phones, nothing like that. My car broke down and I was hours and hours away so I did miss the audition. Once the auto club hours later was able to get my car running on a hunch I showed up and they hadn't cast anyone yet, thank god, so I wasn't too late.
Me: So, the original pilot and show was completely different, am I right?
Anson: Yes and no, In the original pilot the Fonzie character wasn't created, Ralph wasn't created, Harold Gould played Howard Cunningham, there was a different Joanie. Ron, Marion and I were the only originals, and then once "American Graffiti" came out and Grease on Broadway they thought there might be a show here, let's redo it. But let's do it in a more "American Graffiti" style. They thought Ron and I might be too old, so even with the success of "American Graffiti" we had to have a screen test to get the parts again. So it wasn't a slam dunk.
Me: So, what was the deal with Chuck? Was he in the second version of the show when it was redone?
Anson: There was a Chuck in the original but this one they had a Chuck, which was Ron's brother, so they thought maybe the actor doesn't work, so we'll get a different actor to play Chuck, but the same brother. Then when that didn't work Garry Marshall figured out there was just no place to put an older brother in the show. So one day he was gone.
Me: Well, it wouldn't have worked with Chuck and the Fonz, am I right?
Anson: Yeah, ultimately there was just too many characters, even before that, it was hard to fit him into a script.
Me: Were you surprised that Fonzie took off the way he did?
Anson: Not at all, I knew it'll happen. Henry created that character, 100%. We could just feel it, we could just feel the magic there.
Me: I had quite a few merchandise things with Fonzie... I wish I still had the action figure. So, were you jealous of Fonzie?
Anson: Are you kidding me? He bought me a house.
Me: Hahaha. The show lasted eleven years, and you were on the whole time but you weren't in the finale. What happened there?
Anson: Well actually the last three years I was on the show less and less. Once Donny Most quit they didn't need me, so they kept cutting me down, down, down, down. At the time there was not a lot of regard with what I contributed to the show. So I completed my requirements, I think I was only guaranteed three for that season and they asked me will I do the finale. I said, "Yeah, if you pay the price." Which was just normal, they wouldn't so I didn't do it.
Me: Do you regret that?
Anson: No, it's business.
Me: True. Were you on set when Robin Williams was there?
Anson: Totally. I saw the whole thing.
Me: What was that experience like?
Anson: It was like there was a shining light on this young man, I don't know where it came from but he learned the whole script in a day by improv. He was down there, taking notes, I just saw this brilliance. It was just uncanny.
Me: Were you surprised by this whole alien story? It was odd, right?
Anson: The story is Garry saw Star Wars with his son Scottie. And Scottie, when they walked to the theater, asked Garry to do a "Happy Days" spaceman episode. So, Garry did it in a dream or whatever. Anyway, when we rehearsed "Happy Days," the first day we did table reading we read the script for the following week, and the script for the current week. When we read the script for the following week it's giving the writers a chance to rewrite. So, we were reading this script, "More From Ork," it was the worst script in the history of "Happy Days." It was unsuitable, it was horrific, it was bad. Anyway, Garry said they'll fix it so we sat the show that week. The next week we are shooting "More From Ork," we read the script... just as bad. Whatever it was unshootable, but we did our best. They hired a different actor for Mork. On Wednesday, this actor, he wasn't terrible, the part was terrible, couldn't bring anything to it so he quit. So the end of Wednesday, we are shooting Friday night, Garry Marshall comes to the set and asks everybody if we knew a funny alien. Robin got the part and Thursday morning he's there which is only camera blocking day, we shoot Friday night. One day this young man improv'd the entire script, totally rewritten, by Friday night doing the best scripts of "Happy Days." I saw this magic happen, it was in an instant. Nano nano, standing on his head, I saw it all happen spontaneously. And the rest is history, just a total fluke.
Me: That's great. So, you left acting and became a director... are you still doing that?
Anson: Let's see, right now I stopped doing segment directing. I directed over 300 shows, the last regular one I did was "The Secret Life of the American Teenager."
Me: When did you first want to direct?
Anson: I was creating shows and producing and the first one that went to film was Skyward with Bette Davis. Ron directed it, I executive produced it and wrote the story. I don't know, I just had this feeling I wanted to be more involved.
Me: What was the first thing you directed?
Anson: It was called No Greater Gift. The second one was The Lone Star Kid with James Earl Jones.
Me: What did you think of the whole Fonzie "jumping the shark" episode? Did you think it was ridiculous?
Anson: No, I thought it was fun. They were trying to an action show with something Henry could do and he could water ski. So they create a show around it, I thought it was just tongue in cheek fun. Jump the Shark just came out from that show but we went on for another five years. We were still number one in the world, we weren't jumping the shark by any means as far as far as failing. People kind of put down the show as ridiculous but it's not as ridiculous as jumping twelve garbage cans.
Me: Or having an alien saying "nano nano." That worked as well.
Anson: Yeah, it's just fun entertainment.
Me: Do you and the cast still get along so well?
Anson: Totally. Very, very well. We've known each for forty years and we are still friends.
Me: That's great. Anson, thanks so much for being on the Phile. I hope this was fun.
Anson: Thanks so much. Good-bye.
Hmmm... that about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Anson Williams for a good interview. The Phile will be back on Friday with Phile Alum Nick Heywood. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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