Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. How are you? Doing good I hope. Do you want the good news or the bad news first? The good news is that there won't be a government shutdown, as the government has done the bare minimum and agreed on a budget to continue operating! The bad news is that because Congress' spending bill does not appropriate funds for his beloved "Game of Thrones" tribute wall on the Southern border, Trump is set to declare martial law and just do it anyway! That sounds like hyperbole, but no, it's just a description of what's going on. As a testament to just how much thought they put into declaring an emergency over "Sicario 2" fanfiction, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders released the White House's official statement as a screenshot from the Notes App, an iPhone feature most commonly used when a celebrity has to apologize for being racist. Not only did Huckabae not release the news on official White House letterhead, the announcement has a random black dot on it. You know who would not be happy to see the president circumventing the democratically elected legislature to impose his will upon the country? Donald Trump (in 2014). Before examining the legality of the president declaring a national emergency he can't pass a law democratically and his fanboys love chanting so much, let's take a second to laugh at the absolute insanity of this whole thing being kicked off on the NOTES APP.
Who knew authoritarianism was so #basic?
So, yes, three days ago, President Trump declared a national emergency. Yesterday he brunched in Palm Beach without a care in the world, and the Internet has reactions in spades. Let's rewind. On Thursday, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders confirmed via Notes that Trump would forge ahead with funding his border wall, Congress and its budget be damned. Though we're supposedly in the midst of a national crisis, Trump's been spotted in Palm Beach ordering omelettes and chillin' like the villain that he is. I can't blame him. He works hard and wants to relax with some brunch! Just kidding. He's fundamentally averse to work. He probably opposes it for religious reasons. Look at this fucking image, which would make an incredible lower back tattoo...
Let the communal dragging commence!
Separation of powers as enshrined in the Constitution be damned: President Trump went and declared a national emergency because there are brown people on the border with Mexico. You'd think that human pitchfork Ann Coulter would be impressed by Trump's egregious power grab in the same of erecting a massive "fuck you" monument to Mexico, but the pile of toothpicks is surprisingly skeptical. Coultergeist was pissed that Trump's emergency declaration came in tandem with his signing the budget that Congress did approve, which didn't include the billions he demanded for his fence. Ann Coulter slammed Trump's emergency declaration as a charade to appease "the stupidest people in his base" and now people are in the very uncomfortable position of agreeing with Ann Coulter. To Donald Trump, all words are fighting words, and the president must have seen Coulter's take on his morning toilet Twitter scroll. He decided to burn her from his podium at the Rose Garden, a place most famous for hosting the signing of a declaration of peace between Israel and Jordan. Asked if the conservative media circlejerk informed his decision... as it did with last month's shutdown... Trump riffed on his friends Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh before taking the opportunity to burn the witch known as Ann Coulter. That's right, he PULLED A MARIAH CAREY!!! You might be surprised to learn that Trump... wait for it... LIED! He does, in fact, know Ann Coulter! If you think that's how petty the Rose Garden presentation got, you should hear the president describe how the constitutionality of his actions will be challenged in the courts! Speaking of court, expect to hear a lot of lawsuits mentioning the fact that Trump admitted himself that this "national emergency" is hardly an emergency. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tweeted about the comment, so you know it's important. Amazing how everything can be both so scary and so dumb.
A common refrain on this blog is how much Meghan Markle's dad frickin' sucks, and sure, it's better to cope with a shitty dad while sitting in a literal palace, but not even keys to a kingdom can spare you from daddy issues. Last Sunday, The Mail on Sunday published a handwritten letter that former calligrapher and current Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle sent her father, and the fact that we're reading it at all is so sad. Last August, a few months after her wedding to Prince Harry, the duchess wrote, "Your actions have broken my heart into a million pieces... not simply because you have manufactured such unnecessary and unwarranted pain, but by making the choice to not tell the truth as you are puppeteered in this. Something I will never understand. If you love me, as you tell the press you do, please stop. Please allow us to live our lives in peace. Please stop lying, please stop creating so much pain, please stop exploiting my relationship with my husband. I realize you are so far down this rabbit hole that you feel (or may feel) there’s no way out, but if you take a moment to pause I think you’ll see that being able to live with a clear conscience is more valuable than any payment in the world." Mr. Markle leaking the letter didn't just betray what little trust in him she had left, but opened her up to scrutiny from the thirsty British press's handwriting experts. There's nothing the British tabloids love more than hating Meghan Markle, so congrats to Thomas Markle on making bank. And congratulations to Prince Charles for being the Royal Baby's favorite grandpa by default.
Ariana Grande fans truly know no chill. And now that it has officially become the year of Ariana Grande, they are very busy taking their fandom to the next level. So much so, that they are now boycotting one of her songs in an attempt to make one of her other songs go to number one on the charts. Say what now? Just to recap here, Ariana Grande recently broke the Internet when she debuted the iconic "thank u, next" music video. Like, literally YouTube froze momentarily because so many people were watching it. Needless to say, the refreshingly positive breakup anthem had everyone talking, and it quickly made its way to the top of the charts where it became the pop singer's first number one hit on Billboard Hot 100. Ari didn't stop there. She continued to grace us with more singles from her album, which eventually led to a second legendary music video release. This time the single attached to the video was an anthem to herself, her riches, and her bitches. "7 rings" also rose to the top of the charts, because as I covered, this is the year of Ariana Grande. Then, Ari finally dropped the entire album. And because she also knows no chill, she released yet another amazing music video with the song "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored." Was it an instant hit? Take a guess (hint: yes, duh). Okay, now we're all caught up. As we speak, "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored" is climbing its way up the charts. And Ari fans are determined for it to hit number one so she can break records by being an artist with three top hits at once. So they've decided that in order for it to get there, it has to surpass "7 rings," meaning they need to stop listening to "7 rings" and start listening to "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored." Ow, my head hurts. Ariana Grande fans literally live online, so they have taken to Twitter to get their message of boycotting "7 rings" out to the public. Ariana loves her fans, but even she seems to realize how crazy this shit is. If you need me, I'll be doing what any rational person would and listening to both "7 rings" and "breakup with your girlfriend, i'm bored" on repeat until the day I die.
So, it's Sunday, and some churches sure have the best signs...
Who's the moron? So, I was thinking of getting a new tattoo but some one had the same idea as I did...
Hmmm... hahahahahaha. So, if you're thinking about breaking up with your loved one you might wanna think twice after seeing this...
DANG! Wow. So, they told me that I could see some odd sights at Walmart. I didn't believe it until I saw this...
Yup. A few weeks ago was the State of the Union address and some Democrats sure had some shady looks. Like Senator Cory Booker for instance...
So, one of the best things about the Internet is you can see porn so free and easily. But if you're at church, work or home I don't want you to get in trouble, so I came up with a solution.
Man, I did such a good job covering up that breast, didn't I? Hahahahaha. Moving on... let's laugh, shall we?
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather’s lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, “Grandpa, did God make you?” “Yes, sweetheart,” he answered. “God made me a long time ago.” “Oh,” she paused. “Grandpa, did God make me too?” “Yes, indeed, honey,” he said. “God made you just a little while ago.” Feeling their respective faces again, the little girl observed, “God’s getting better at it, isn’t he?”
Ha! This is easy. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so, apparently myself and some of you have been using common expressions that were homophobic AF. A friend of the Phile wanted to come on and tell us about one we have been using. So, please welcome to the Phile once again...
Hello, people. The terms “Nellie,” “Nancy," and “Nancy’s Boy” were often used to describe being gay back in the day. It was usually directed at overly effeminate homosexual men. So when people use the term “Nervous Nellie” it’s actually a homophobic term referring to an ineffectual, timid, and worrisome gay person. It also assumes that gay people are weak or cowardly. In reality, to be an out and proud gay person takes courage, so the term is pretty meaningless.
So, today is the NASCAR Daytona 500 here in Florida. A friend of the Phile wanted to come on and talk about it. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is.
Good afternoon, phuckerz. Today is the Daytona 500 (always been kinda like the Super Bowl for my family). This is, in my opinion... the greatest stock car driver of all time... the King Richard Petty. There is a young man named Ryan Preese (in the 47 car) racing in the 500 today, who’s been racing with my oldest son Jim Jr. for years at Riverhead Raceway. We wish him (as well as the 71 car, sponsored by Riverhead Raceway) the best of luck and are very proud that Long Island drivers are being represented in what’s considered to be the crown jewel of stock car racing. #LongIslandStrong.
The 93rd book to be pheaturdd in the Phile's Book Club is...
Jan will be the guest on the Phile on Thursday. So, a friend of the Phile seems to have some bad luck. I wondered how he was doing this year so I thought I'd invite him back. Please welcome back to the Phile...
Me: Hey, Dindo, how are you, sir?
Dindo: Hello, my friend. I am okay... I think.
Me: You think? What have you been up to?
Dindo: Well, I was so excited for health insurance that I failed to properly read the paperwork before signing.
Me: What?! Dindo, always. Read. Paperwork! What the hell happened?
Dindo: I got a part-time job that miraculously offered health insurance. Unfortunately, the paperwork they gave me when I started only listed the insurance rates for full-time employees, something like $60 a paycheck. I didn't even realize there would be a difference for me until I got my first paycheck and it totaled about $20. I called HR in panic mode, certain that there must be some mistake only to be informed that for the number of hours I was working, health insurance was $400 per paycheck.
Me: Couldn't you cancel your enrollment?
Dindo: No, I couldn't cancel my enrollment unless I had a "qualifying life event."
Me: So, what did you take home?
Dindo: I took home $20 paychecks for four months until open enrollment when I could finally cancel. Luckily I had another job at the time so I wasn't out on the street, but it certainly taught me a lesson about carefully reading paperwork.
Me: I bet. Take care of yourself, Dindo. Be good.
Dindo: Thanks, Jason. You too.
Me: Dindo Nuffin, kids.
Phact 1. Downtown Seattle actually sits on top of the original city from the 1800s. It was rebuilt on top of 20-foot high walled tunnels following a great fire, in order to prevent floods from high tide and sewage. You can go underground to see the original city remnants.
Phact 2. Beneath the streets of L.A. is a complex network of pedestrian tunnels that stretch several blocks. They’ve been used for secret transportation of mobsters, murderers and more than a billion dollars in cash; designated as fallout shelters and homeless shelters and used as backdrops for movies.
Phact 3. The oldest subway tunnel in the world has had it's only entrance welded shut, and it contains a 100 plus year old steam engine.
Phact 4. Due to a compressed air leak, a worker in a subway tunnel under New York City’s East River was blown out of the tunnel, through the mud at the bottom of the river, up through the water, and 25 feet or so into the air. He received no serious injury.
Phact 5. In 1963, a man knocked down a wall of his home. Behind it, he discovered a mysterious room and soon discovered an intricate tunnel system with additional cave-like rooms. What he had discovered was the ancient Derinkuyu underground city in Turkey.
Today's pheatured guest is leas guitarist KIX, an American hard rock band that achieved popularity during the 1980s. Their latest album "Fuse 30 Reblown (Blow My Fuse 30th Anniversary Special Edition)" is available from iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Fuse 30 Reblown (Blow My Fuse 30th Anniversary Special Edition)." Please welcome to the Phile... Brian "Damage" Forsythe.
Me: Hey, Brian, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Brian: Great.
Me: Last year you guys rereleased the album "Blown My Fuse" and changed the name to "Reblown Fuse 30." What made you guys redo this album if it was redone?
Brian: Well, for one thing it was the 30th anniversary. Mark Schenker was the one, I wish Mark was doing this interview instead of me, Mark was the one that sort of jumped upon that and sort of pursued that whole thing. We had no idea where the masters were or anything and a lot of times when bands rerelease stuff it's just a remastered thing and this is actually a full remix.
Me: So, how did this project happen then?
Brian: It's interesting because we are still in contact, especially Mark... Mark hooked up with Beau Hill and he and Beau do deep sea diving and all that junk together, so Mark just sort of threw it out there to Beau to remixing it and Beau really liked the idea but we weren't sure how to go about getting the master tape and all that junk or who had them. So Mark went and checked into it and had Madalyne at Loud and Proud Records to help him out to. We ended up finding them they were available so we got a hold of them.
Me: So, once you go the masters what did you guys do then?
Brian: They were sent to Beau. There's a lot of other processes that happened in the meantime but to make a long story short Beau got them and just to see what happened he didn't listen to the actual record. He just took the master tapes and he just remixed it himself without being influenced by the original mix. So it was kind of interesting how it turned out. Then of course the other half of that little box set are the demos that we did before we went in to record the record. It's really cool. We did that in our own little studio in Waynesboro, Pennsylvania and it's interesting to see how the songs developed. Some of them almost sound exactly the same and some of them were completely rearranged quite differently and it's just a kind of a cool thing to look at.
Me: Were you aware of the demos, Brian?
Brian: Yeah, I was definitely aware of the demos. Back when Donnie was still involved because Donnie's the main songwriter he was relentless with these demos. I have boxes of tapes up in one of my closets of demos. Especially with the set that was released I have other demos that have different versions of demos. I might have four or five different versions of "Blow My Fuse," the song. And they're all slightly different.
Me: I got to listen to a few demos that were sent to me and on the song "Red Lite, Green Lite TNT," was that a drum machine or an actual drummer on the demo?
Brian: On the demo?
Me: Yeah.
Brian: That's a good question. I'm trying to remember back now. It could've been a drum machine. I don't think Jimmy played real drums in our studio because it was a tiny little studio we had. He had sort of a drum pad with triggers. It might've been that.
Me: Okay, just wondering. My dad's demos he did for Foghat he used a drum machine. When the CD version of the original album came out were you guys unhappy the way it came out?
Brian: Not at the time. I'm trying to think back. Listening to the original mix of that record, that's kind of the way things were at that time. It sounded like it was supposed to at the time. Now when I go back to listen to it, there's so much more, especially with the delay and the effects were just overblown. There were somethings I didn't notice until Mark pointed them out. There's one delay on the song "Dirty Boys," right at the beginning. I guess because I always listened to it on speakers, when I put the headphones on I noticed the delay wasn't in time with the song so there's this big jumble of a mess at the beginning. Those were the kind of things we were hoping to fix on this remix.
Me: Do you ever go back and listen to the other old KIX records?
Brian: Well, I do, I make it a habit to go over the sets a few times during the week leading up to the show, just to imbed it into my brain. So I do play along with it. Every once in awhile I stop and actually listen to it just to make sure. A lot of times when I'm playing a song over time little subtitles will change and I'll forget, I'll play it a certain way and I'll forget the real way that I should be playing it. If I go back and relisten to it at some point I'll go oh, wow, I forgot I used to do it this way. Then I'll just tweak it a little.
Me: Why would you change the way you recorded the song when you play live? Just to have fun?
Brian: With me it's the initial recording that something just bugs me about the way I played. So when we play it live I'll fix it and play it the way I would really liked to have played it.
Me: When you recorded the album did you guys plan out the solos or just play it that way on the spot? I always wonder about guitarists and how they come up with their solos.
Brian: Well, it depended on the song. Some songs were worked out, especially if it was playing the guitar and harmonica thing. we would work it out. Or if it was Ronnie and I playing harmony guitar or something of course that would be worked out. But there are other places where I would put the solo on a demo just to sort of fill it in and when I got to the studio I tried different things. Just the way I work the best solos are the ones where I just wing it and I would do that, I would go in there and do a few different solos and I would just start at a different spot on each take and then go back and usually it'll be the first or second take which would end up being the solo.
Me: As you didn't totally rerecord the album and just remixed and remastered it does your original label, I think it was Atlantic, own the rights to the recording?
Brian: Yeah, I suppose so. I don't really know exactly. Yeah, it seems that's the way it would be. I don't know if they own it but I know Donnie still owns the publishing rights to his songs. Yeah, I'm not really sure how that works.
Me: I think they do. I know Graham Parker and Squeeze rerecorded some of their songs to keep the rights. Okay, so your last studio album was "Rock Your Face Off," and that came out in 2014, five years ago. Any plans for you guys to record a new album?
Brian: We have talked about it. Of course this release put that off a little bit. Everybody has been working on their own ideas on their own, but we haven't gotten together yet and sort of thrown things together what we have. But we've talked about it, but there's no time line but I'm sure at some point in the future they'll be another record. It's funny because this last record had been so long since we put one out and I think there was sort of a fear factor because Donnie wasn't in the band anymore, so we kept putting it off and putting it off and we finally did it and it turned out so well. Now the other part of the fear is trying to follow that up and do it again.
Me: So, you being a guitarist and I know I have a lot of guitar fans that read this blog and will get mad if I don't ask, you play the Telecaster quite a bit, were you using a Tele much in that era?
Brian: No, I actually wasn't. I didn't really get into the Telecaster 'til I left the band in '93, and I switched over. The Tele that I play I had it back then and I had it sitting around my living room so that was my guitar I would pick up, just to noodle around on when I was watching TV or something. Back in those days my main guitar was my Melody Maker, which is not a truly Melody Maker because it's got Humbucker pick-ups in it but it's got a thin body, so it's probably closer to an SG or something. That's what I mainly use but I also have a Stratocaster that I used on a few songs, and a Les Paul. I had a Les Paul Special with a P90 pick-ups which I loved. So I was always leaned to and loved the single coil sound and I discovered the Tele. Actually the first time I played the Tele on stage was right after "Cool Kids," we jumped up on stage to do a set. There was a band in Florida called the Kids that we made friends with while we there recording it. When we finished that record we asked them if we could jump up there and do a few songs, just because we haven't played live in a couple months. So they let us get up there and this was the band that Johnny Depp was the guitar player and he had a '56 Telecaster and a 50-watt Marshall and it was like the old style Marshall, it wasn't a modern Marshall. So I got to play his Tele and I couldn't believe the sound the Tele had through the Marshall. I never thought it could sound that good. So I think that planted the seed. I always knew there was this magic sound with a Tele and a Marshall. So when I finally picked up the Telecaster and started to use it I realized there's something about a single coil pick-up and just a cranked up amp, I still get the sustain and everything I need but there's still this clarity that comes through and I think I just fell in love with that tone. It's almost bigger than an Humbucker that has more output, the single coil almost has a bigger sound because it has such clarity.
Me: That's cool. So, I have to ask you how you got the nickname "Damage." How?
Brian: I actually got that name during the “Midnight Dynamite” recording. Yeah, Beau Hill kind of coined that. I would show up to the studio with a really bad hangover. So I would be laying on the couch in front of the mixing console. So Beau’s nickname for me then was “Brain” but, with the letters I and the A reversed. So he would call me Brain anyway. And then one day I’m lying there moaning and groaning on that couch, and he goes, we should just call you “brain damage."
Me: Haha. Brian, thanks so much for being on the Phile. Please come back again and I hope this was fun.
Brian: It was, Jason, I really enjoyed it. Thanks.
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and of course Brian Forsythe. The Phile will be back on Thursday with Canadian singer Jann Arden. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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