Hey there, and welcome to the Phile. Happy Star Wars Day! May the 4th be with you. I wish I can bullseye someones thermal exhaust port tonight in honor of Star Wars Day. Sadly, that won't be happening. We'll talk more about Star Wars in a minute. There's other stuff going on. An unmanned Russian spacecraft, en route to the International Space Station, has malfunctioned and gone out of control. It is currently orbiting the Earth, but should be plunging down, right onto your home, within a week. People are freaking bc a Russian spacecraft's falling to Earth. First time we've cared bout something Russian dropping since Tatu's first CD. Hulu has struck a deal with Sony Pictures TV for exclusive rights to stream the iconic sitcom "Seinfeld" to a population that has seen every one of the 180 episodes at least seven times. The terms of the deal are not clear, but it appears that Hulu is paying somewhere between $700,000 and $1 million per episode. Finally, those "Seinfeld" folks are gonna see a little return on their investment. Ben Carson... an extremely right-wing conservative neurosurgeon who jokes about poisoning gay people and has never held office in his life has announced his intension to stand in front of a lot of crowds and television cameras and say silly things that will get him on the news a lot in the 18 month run-up to the 2016 presidential election. "I'm not a politician," he said to a bunch of people who suddenly have a reason to listen to what he has to say. "I don't want to be a politician because politicians do what is politically expedient. I want to do what's right." Executives at Disney and Marvel Studios must feeling pretty bad right about now. Avengers: Age of Ultron only made a lousy $191.3 million this weekend, falling short of the world record (held by the original Avengers film) by $16 million. Oh, well. Looks like this comic book movie fad is already over. It was nice while it lasted. Motorola is reportedly developing an edible “authentication vitamin” pill that, when swallowed, transmits an 18-bit, EKG-esque signal from your digestive tract. The signal will effectively make your body a living, breathing password for all of your devices. I mean, it would if you were actually going to eat this, which you won't. Still, neat idea. Neat and terrifying idea. Race car driver Danica Patrick is losing her primary sponsor next year, after the Internet domain registrar and web hosting company GoDaddy announced plans to cut ties with NASCAR. In a tweet, Patrick said, "Everything evolves and changes in life, I'm excited for what's to come!" If she likes, I'd be happy to put her in touch with company that hosts the Phile. If somebody knows her, please tell her to get in touch. Using an estimated 250,000 small plastic bricks and 2 full Earth days, the father and son "Master Lego Builder" duo Dan and Chris Steininger built the biggest Millenium Falcon out of Legos. They are two of the seven Master Lego Builders, and were flown from the United States to Melbourne, Australia to complete the task in front of fans. A Jedi could feel a great disturbance in the force, as if thousands of tiny blocks were just used for the geekiest thing. It's a good thing they didn't build the world's largest Death Star or some nerdy bullies might have come by and blown it up as a joke. Here's what it looks like.
In honor of May the 4th, Lucasfilm and Vanity Fair have released a bunch of official photos, taken by Annie Lebowitz, from the set of the upcoming Star Wars: The Force Awakens, including this of "Game of Thrones" actress Gwendoline Christie in costume as some kind of a bowling trophy or something.
One new picture I don't like is what they did to C-3PO. Take a look...
What did they do to him?! So, I saw the trailer again when I saw that Avengers movie and I noticed something that I don't think many of you noticed. Here's the screen shot...
See it? Speaking of seeing it, did you see the cover of June's Vanity Fair magazine? Here it is without the print.
And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...
Top Phive Explanations To Vanity Fair's New Star Wars Cover
5. The historic first appearance or a "penis hat" on Vanity Fair's cover.
4. BB-8, gazing lovingly at a blender on the craft-service table.
3. John Boyega, in his first non-sweaty, out of breath Star Wars appearance.
2. Just moments after the picture was taken, Chewbacca keeled over from his own dutch-oven fumes.
And the number one explanation to Vanity Fair's Star Wars cover...
1. At the last second, J.J. Abrams' hand was used to prop up Harrison Ford's head.
Star Wars
You know, Star Wars. Have you not seen Star Wars?
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so, being it's Star Wars day I thought I would invite a friend back to the Phile that I know you all love. He's a bounty hunter by day, stand up comedian by night. Please welcome back to the Phile, straight from the Outer Rim...
Tractor: Did you hear about the fast food chain started by Ewoks?
Me: Ummm...no, I didn't.
Tractor: There were branches all over Endor.
Me: Haha. I get it. Endor is full of trees.
Tractor: What was General Grievous' favorite band?
Me: I have no idea.
Tractor: Weezer.
Me: That was really stupid and I don't think anybody is laughing at that joke, Tractor. Do you have another?
Tractor: Why did C-3PO lose his tennis match?
Me: No idea.
Tractor: He was sure it must be R2-D2's fault.
Me: Tractor, that joke didn't make sense at all. Do you have a limerick? You always leave us with a limerick?
Tractor: No, I don't.
Me: Alright then. Tractor Beam, everybody!
Tractor: Don't eat the bantha.
Alright, today's guests are two musicians who make up the duo Seth&Zakk whose album "Snakk Pakk" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Seth Simonelli and Zakk Bates.
Me: Hey, guys, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Seth: Never better! How are YOU, sir?
Me: Don't ask. It's been a shitty week. Okay, first things first, guys... is your name supposed to be Seth& Zakk, like in one big word, or Seth & Zakk?
Zakk: Door #1. One big word. We like to represent ourselves as an entity, rather than two separate people.
Me: I have to say, I downloaded your album "Snakk Pakk" from iTunes and really liked it. Well done. Is this your first album, guys?
Seth: Thank you! We've enjoyed it just as much! And thank you again.
Zakk: Yes, this is our first album which, technically, is considered our first EP. Not quite the bees knees enough to be a full-length album, but time will change that!
Me: Zakk, the name of the album rhymes with your name, so will the next album rhyme with Seth's name?
Zakk: Hm, never thought about it that way. I mean I guess we really had no other choice, unless we wanted our first EP to read "Sneth Peth." Unless we're darn clever, we're not too sure the next album(s) will rhyme with anything, ha!
Me: Like I said, I really like the album. Do you both take turns in songwriting?
Seth: The writing process, thus far, has been very formulated. It goes as such:
Seth: writer, Zakk: producer.
Zakk: Seth bakes a tasty batter...
Seth: Zakk decorates the cake. This is better exampled through our new and upcoming songs such as "Rush of Love"... which you can download off of our Facebook page for free! Just saying.
Me: Did you guys ever argue about whose name goes first?
Zakk: It kind of just fell into place that way. Seemed to fit right. There wasn't much thought at all put into it. Go with the flow, man.
Me: How did you two meet? Were you both in other bands at the time?
Seth: We met in a former band that we were BOTH in which was NOT acoustic. At all. Not even close... Can you say "mosh pit"?
Me: You're based in Cape Cod, is that right? I went there a years, and ate in a really nice Italian restaurant called Camilla's or Camille's. Do you know what restaurant I am talking about?
Seth: Hm, not sure we do. Although one of Zakk's favorite restaurants is The Lobster Pot! He's actually quite obsessed with the little crimson crawlers.
Zakk: Seth, on the other hand, wouldn't necessarily be happy to dine at The Lobster Pot, being a vegetarian and all. Yeah, Seth's more into Subway's swing of things. Eat fresh!
Me: I love those Cape Cod chips, have you ever eaten them?
Seth: YES. The sea salt and unsalted ones are our favorite! They always seem to shine brighter than all other brand-name chips... hmm... wonder why that is... maybe cause... they're REAL?
Me: Do you both still live there? I bet you go to Boston quite often, right?
Zakk: Yes. Seth resides in Falmouth...
Seth: While Zakk kicks it in Buzzards Bay. We're two masses of land separate. The only thing connecting us is our undying friendship and the Bourne Bridge...
Zakk: Which may or may not have been why Seth tattooed the bridge on himself.
Me: You kids have been compared to Dashboard Confessional... are you fans of said band? Do you two have the same tastes in music?
Zakk: Not only fans, followers! Dashboard is a MAJOR influence in Seth's life, thus, the band's. He's grown up with it. And yes AND no for part B. For the most part, we've found our own musical tide pools to soak in, although certain genres do attract both our interest. We consider this difference to be a very positive thing for the band. It certainly helps create a unique sound!
Me: I watched your video for "Backroads and Sunsets" and it looks like you guys had a great time. Did you enjoy making the video?
Seth: The best time of our lives would be an understatement. Road trip to scenic Maine, Massachusetts, up in the beautiful mountain ranges. A camera crew composed of some of our best friends. What more could someone ask for?
Me: A lot of your songs are about girls, guys, so, I have to ask you, who gets the most groupies?
Seth: Seth& Zakk isn't really a "groupie" type of band, anti-climactic, I know, but we've gone to so much more intimate (non-sexually) lengths to get to personally know each and every one of our friends. (aka: "Fans".) The term groupie doesn't apply to us. Heck, the term FAN doesn't apply to us. We have friends... and that's far more beautiful than any fan can be.
Me: Thanks so much for being here on the Phile, and I wish you continued success. Go ahead and plug your website, guys, and when your next album comes out that rhymes with Seth, come back onto the Phile. All the best, and continued success.
Seth: Thank you so much! We've enjoyed our stay more than you could ever know!
Zakk: Maybe we'll make an album specifically for the Phile, with all it's whimsicality in tact... and yes... rhyming with Seth's name.
Me: That would be fucking cool.
Seth: Thanks again!
There. That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Seth and Zakk for a great interview. Okay, the Phile will be back next Sunday with Dom from the band Dom. I think that's right. Anyway, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker
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