Friday, October 31, 2014

Pheaturing Poison Ivory


Hey, kids, welcome back to the Phile. It's the last day of October and Halloween. May your Halloween costume be as shocking as Renee Zellweger's new face. Hey, did somebody order a pugkin spice latte?


I'm so funny.  Tim Cook, the Apple chair whom, assuming you've heard of him, you probably know is gay... came out as gay in an unusually personal essay published by Bloomberg Businessweek. "I’m proud to be gay, and I consider being gay among the greatest gifts God has given me," wrote the famously gay businessman who is only now opening up about his sexuality. Tim Cook says he's proud to be gay, but I bet by next year his gay will be two times as proud and with a multitude of new I/O ports.  The citizens of San Francisco were apparently so distraught at seeing their home team win the World Series that they immediately took to the streets and began burning things in protest. Riot police were dispatched to keep the demonstrations from getting too violent. Wow, the people in that city must really hate baseball. A Phile reader sent me this picture...


The Giants have won. A truly horrifying day for little people everywhere. I certainly hope the Giants' win does not affect the modesty and humility for which San Francisco is known.  A batch of Fireball Whisky is being recalled in three Scandinavian countries after it was found to contain propylene glycol... a chemical compound also found in anti-freeze, despite the fact that the sweetening agent, which is used in many food products, is probably the least hazardous ingredient in the the cinnamon-flavored alcoholic beverage. Fireball contains a chemical used in anti-freeze. So I poured some in my car, but now it's just being really annoying and slutty.  Hip-hop mogul Suge Knight might spend the rest of his life behind bars after being arrested for stealing a camera from a female paparazzo alongside comedian Katt Williams. The Death Row Records co-founder faces thirty years to life for the dumb, totally uncool crime due to a previous conviction for assault with a deadly weapon. I dreamt that I got shot in the arm but left the bullet in so I could finish running my errands. My dream self is apparently Suge Knight.  I have been mentioning this, different TV networks are coming out with TV shows with an Ebola theme. Here's the latest one...


I'd watch that. I love "Survivor".  A Phile reader sent me a picture of a pumpkin they carve that they said was me. I don't know, take a look and tell me what you think.


Hahahahaha. I will say I'm very flattered. It does have my mouth. But it also has a look of confusion... which yes, is also fitting.  Most of you will probably go trick or treating tonight, right? And you might need s costume. Here's one costume I recommend you don't get... if you can find it...


In 2010, a Japanese discount chain pulled a Nazi costume from its shelves after receiving a complaint from an American Jewish organization. The costume, on sale at the retailer Don Quijote Co., included a black jacket with a red swastika armband in a package adorned with a sketch resembling Adolf Hitler and the phrase “Heil Hitler” in Japanese characters. The outfit was on sale for about 5,000 yen ($60) in at least two Don Quijote outlets in Tokyo, including one in the upscale Ginza shopping district. Aico, a Japanese party goods maker, has made the costume for seven years and never had a complaint. Freakin' crazy.  Okay, so it's the last day of October and through this month I have been showing you some amazing cancer survivors who chose body art instead of reconstructive surgery. Here is the last one...


A great line for a cancer survivor.  I am so mad, yesterday on the Phile I forgot to mention one of the most famous bass players in rock and roll history has passed away under the Someone Phamous Has Died pheature. So, I will do it now...


Jack Bruce 
May 14th, 1943 — October 25th, 2014
He'll wait in that place where the sun never shines.



Can you spot the Mindphuck? By the way, when you vote here in Florida on Tuesday vote yes for Amendment 2. I mentioned something yesterday, my music project Strawberry Blondes Forever, or SBF as the cool kids cool it has a new Christmas single called "Christmas On My Mind" which is available on iTunes and Bandcamp. Here it is the cover for it...


Go and download it at strawberryblondesforever.bandcamp.com. Dan Nowicki put a lot of work into this song, so I thank him. Have you heard about the nurse who refused to remain in quarantine as she might have Ebola? The Phile's good friend Laird Jim has, and has something to say about it. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. It's...


Reason # 6,352,125 of why I think The Mayans were right (they were just off on the date by a bit)... There's this nurse from Maine who returned from treating high risk Ebola patients and was told to remain in quarantine for the required 21 days. She has refused to do so and is arrogantly flaunting her total disregard for procedure. First off.... What the FUCK? Secondly... Anybody else, besides me out there wanna slap this bitch silly and hand cuff her to her fucking toilet for 21 days?


The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
"The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" is an early American folktale about the first documented case of road rage.



The 28th artist to be pheatured in the Phile's Art Gallert is Al Abbazia and this is one of his pieces...


Al will be the guest on the Phile on Sunday.


Today's pheatured guest is a grunge, soul, rock pop r&b hip hop singer whose EP "The Filth" is available on iTunes. Man, this woman knows how to dress. Please welcome to the Phile... Poison Ivory.


Me: Hello, Poison, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Ivory: I'm firkin fantastical, how are you, sir?

Me: I am really good. Should I call you Poison or Ivory?

Ivory: Call me Ivory, call me Poison Ivory if your nasty.

Me: Ivory it is then. At first I thought your name was Poison Ivy and I was gonna ask if you were a Batman fan. Hell, I'll still ask it, are you a Batman fan?

Ivory: Fuck yeah! Who isn't? But I didn't pull the name mainly from being a Batman fanatic. I actually went by Ivory many years before Poison was spoken into my existence. The Poison signifies the dirt and Ivory the purity.

Me: Did anybody call you Poison Ivy by mistake?

Ivory: All the time, I don't get offended. It's an easy mistake.

Me: Officially that's not your real name, but it easily could be. For the longest time I thought Pink was Pink's real name. When did you start to call yourself Poison Ivory and is there a story behind that?

Ivory: I've been going by Ivory for years. I called myself Candace Ivory at first. My middle name. Then Kris which is short for my real name Kristina. Until one day I'm having a discussion with a friend about the significance of my name. I told him how I love Ivory because its a precious commodity, its strong, its pure, and attached to a now rare animal that represents prosperity and wisdom. My friend said, "Your like a cracked piece of porcelain! You have a pure heart with a dark twisted side." And I realized that I had that dark twisted side because I had let all of the Poison from the industry corrupt me. Although I have that bit of darkness seeping in through the cracks my light finds the perfect balance. Kind of like a Yin & Yang. Therefore Poison Ivory became my artist name.

Me: I downloaded your EP "Filth" from iTunes and really dug it. There's a lot of musical influences on it, Ivory. Rock, hip hop, reggae, pop and punk. You must like all kinds of music am I right?

Ivory: Yes, you are so right. I LOVE MUSIC. I have many passions but music is my kindred. I am so in love with it.

Me: You describe your music as Pop Urban Grunge... that sounds like a great name for an album. What does Pop Urban Grunge mean, Ivory?

Ivory: I've called my music Grunge Soul as well. It means that there is something musical in it for everybody.

Me: What kinda music did you listen to growing up?

Ivory: I grew up listening to what my mom and pop listened to. My dad was listening to classic rock Led Zep, The Eagles, Neil Young etc... My mom was listening to Celine Dion, Barbara Streisand... Both of my parents listened to gospel music being since I grew up in church.

Me: You were in a gospel choir when you were a kid, am I right? And you sang to President Clinton with Barbra Streisand? There's a picture of you with Hillary and Barbra. I have to show it here...


Me: That must of been pretty cool. Were you nervous?

Ivory: Thank you! It was awesome! I didn't really get nervous as a child, I loved being the center of attention. Not much has changed... haha.

Me: And your dad was a pastor and also was in the music business?

Ivory: My father was in the music biz during the 60s & 70s, he was also a long haired hippie. He worked with many labels and artist doing radio promo and P.R.. He gave up his music biz hopes and dreams for a life of God & family. But still continued to do P.R. for many in the black music gospel realm while he ran his own homeless ministry in the heart of Hollywood for many years. Now he's retired.

Me: I read he worked with The Temptations, WAR, The Mama's and the Papa's just to name a few. Did you meet any of these people growing up?

Ivory: I met Michelle from The Mamas and the Papas growing up. Lou Adler from The Rocky Horror Picture Show and I met a whole lot more people when I was basically a baby but I was too young to know who they were.

Me: My dad was in the music business as well and I met some cool people growing up so I know what it's like. Where are you originally from, Ivory?

Ivory: I'm born and raised Los Angeles, California. Pasadena bred, but Los Angeles raised.

Me: You're based in L.A., am I right? Do you like living there?

Ivory: Oh but California California... in the words of Joni Mitchell. I love California with my whole heart. There is nothing like Los Angeles in all its soul tormented beauty. So many hopes & dreams jam packed into one area. Nothing like the California mountain-scapes. And the California skies that look like an oil painting sometimes. Convinced? Bfwaha.

Me: I like California as well. I have to talk about your look, it's very colorful. You put a lot of thought into it I am taking. What do you call the look?

Ivory: I call it "How the fuck I'm feeling today"... haha. I actually don't put as much thought into it as you think unless I'm performing then the chaos begins. I do however gravitate towards patterns, bright colors, colors that contrast. My inspirations are pulled from many sources from the past. I love history.

Me: I see some Gwen Stefani in our look and sound, but also for some reason some Japanese influences. You spent some time in Japan, right?

Ivory: I went on a mini tour in Japan. I love me some Queen Gwen but it's not where I am pulling most of my inspirations from. She definitely has inspired some cool things. And yes, Japan changed my whole perspective on life. I went on tour out there one year and it rocked my world. I fell in love with the Japanese culture and pop culture.

Me: How long have you been singing, Ivory, and when did you realize you wanted to be a performer?

Ivory: I've been singing since I was five years old and I always knew I was going to be a performer. I just knew I was going to be a singer, a cartoonist, and a writer. I have accomplished most of those things in some form... haha.

Me: Let's talk about something serious... you are a cancer survivor. I was hesitant on mentioning this, but cancer has been a big thing in my life... both of my parents passed away from cancer in 2000. What kinda cancer did you have?

Ivory: I am so sorry to hear that and you sound like quite an amazing individual for having to endure that. Non-Hodgekins Lymphoma.

Me: How old were you when you were first diagnosed?

Ivory: Twenty-two years old.

Me: It must of really affected you, I am sure as you were so young. Did you think about stop being a performer and a singer at all?

Ivory: There were times when I felt defeated and the thought crossed my mind but I never gave up. 

Me: Well, thank God you are doing well. Let's talk about your EP "Filth". When I look at you filth is the last thing that comes to mind. Colorful and bright is a better word. Why "Filth"?

Ivory: I come from an extremely religious background. I grew up in ministry and the music I do is considered spiritually filthy to a lot of religious buffs. Although I love God I just don't box him in. The Filth is all of the lies & bullshit society pours into us on a daily, this is my take on filth. Money sex, power... all tools used to manipulate us. Which is exactly what I touch on... in all of my lyrics. "Alchemy". Your love is like alchemy... Sorcery. It bewitches me. "Sex is a Weapon". My sex is a weapon and ima pull it on you! "Mr. Wonderful".  How can we live off crumbs and bread, brain wash our bodies so our minds are always dead. You and your suit, you and your tie, baby your so handsome with authority. "Little Piece of Heaven". Don't tell me what you condone. I'm a Picasso Extraordinary. Your use to people kneeling down, I didn't mean to make you weary. Just listen to the lyrics, man! It explains itself.

Me: Very well. You sing about sex, money and power. Are those three things important to you, Ivory?

Ivory: Those are three things I don't have. LOL. LMAO... me neither but I think you may need to dissect the lyrics a little more. When Im singing about power in "Mr. Wonderful" I'm actually talking about "the man" in the power position who has the authority to change your life in a positive direction but instead he is tearing you down. "Mr Wonderful" is actually an incredibly sarcastic song. Somebody talk me off this ledge, I keep breathing in your pollution til I'm red, how can we live off crumbs & bread? Brain wash our bodies so our minds are always dead." Money in "Alchemy". I'm talking about this man who is an alchemist, he can change metals to gold & silver, he has power and can manipulate the natural unnaturally and he does so to me. It's a dark song and tale of a woman who is over powered by the wrong forces. Money, and material things. Sex in "Sex is a Weapon" is about several woman I know who use their bodies to get what they want and over power others with their sex like a weapon. Men do the same to woman... but there is something so dirty and filthy according to society about a woman using her sex as weapon towards a man... or even another woman. "Little Piece of Heaven"... An example of a person who stole something so pure. They took a little piece of Heaven. "The Blues"... A dark tale of poor choices that meets heartbreak therefore leaving both individuals with the blues. Therefore the EP is added of stories of "The Filth". Do you get it now? If not I can't help you... hahahah.

Me: No, you explained it pretty good. I watched the video for "Mr. Wonderful"... was it filmed in L.A.?

Ivory: I have three videos out and they were all filmed in L.A .

Me: How was a laundromat chosen as a background?

Ivory: We picked a straw and I won. LOL... I kid... Zae Bear from Zae Bear Photo said he knew a great laundry mat... it just so happened to be the one I used when I lived in that Hollywood area... synchronicity!

Me: I also watched the little film clip for "Filth" an I thought wow, this could be a very crazy trailer for a movie. Do you like being on film and acting?

Ivory: Yes, I'm an attention whore.

Me: There's a scene where someone is trying to drown you in a bath tub. I have  photo of it here...


Me: Was that your idea?

Ivory: Yes. That represents me drowning my old self and re-emerging an evolved creature.

Me: Hey, I have to ask, who are those people with you on the cover of the EP?

Ivory: Those are my parents and they are really praying over me in front of my house which is a 130 year old Victorian home.

Me: What do your parents think of your music now?

Ivory: My dad thinks it's far out, he loves it. My mom doesn't really listen to a lot of music so she doesn't really understand it. But they both support me 100%.

Me: Apart from making music I was told you are a painter and illustrator. What kinda stuff do you do?

Ivory: Check out @ArtPoison its my illustration company. I draw and print my own stickers & merch. I also draw merchandise for other artist like myself and paint.

Me: I need to have you back and pheature your art. Okay, so, on the Phile I ask random questions thanks to Tabletopics. Ready? If you could donate one million dollars to charity which would you choose? I would choose St. Judes.

Ivory: I would probably skip a charity this time, those guys are pretty well off. I would try for maybe a group home or something under the radar no one knows about, help someone get on their feet.

Me: Okay. Ivory, thanks for being here on the Phile. Please come back again. Go ahead and mention your website. Take care, and I wish you continued success and good health. Oh, and come and play in Orlando.

Ivory: Thank you! My pleasure! Iampoisonivory.com.







There. That about does it for this entry. Thanks to Laird Jim and Poison Ivory. The Phile will be back on Sunday with artist Al Abbazia and on Monday with Phile Alum Anna Coogan. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.












Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

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