Pheaturing In The Red

PHIRST OF

Hey, kids, how are you? Welcome to the Peverett Phile, proud sponsor of TACAnow.org and generationrescue.org. I am your host, Jason Peverett, star of the new movie Drag Me To Groveland. So, here in Central Florida it's Gay Days this weeekend. Millions of gay people will come to Disney and celebrate. It's not a really big deal, just a lot of people chasing the rainbow, if you know what I mean. Chip and Dale love this time of year. It's the only time they grab each others nuts in public. Kim Jong Il of North Korea has named his son the future president. The president's son becoming president? That could never happen here. Have you seen Kim Jong Il? Man, that is one nuclear-powered lesbian. There's big news in Washington: The president went on a date. Everyone was like, What!?! The president went on a date?!?! We haven't seen this since the Clinton administration. The president took his wife out on a date. When he heard this, Bill Clinton was like, "What?!?!" Rush Limbaugh said he might change his mind about Obama's Supreme Court nominee. Sounds like someone has a new prescription. Also, Osama bin Laden released an audio tape. And I'm thinking, "You're a bit behind the times, you know. Everyone Twitters these days." Experts say it was recorded recently, because in it, he mostly rants about how Susan Boyle got robbed. It was a very busy few days for Obama. He was in the Middle East. But don't worry — Joe Biden's running the country. President Obama was in Egypt. He took a tour of the pyramids, those massive structures that longer serve any function, and he offered them a bailout. Scientists have discovered they can track migrating penguins from space. They follow their shit trails using satellites. It's the same way the Secret Service tracks Joe Biden. Today is Donut Day. I love donuts but because I am on a dirt and can only eat the holes in the center. Actually, don't tell my wife or my doctor but at lunch today I had a donut salad. What about the Orlando Magic, eh? I live near Orlando so I am cheering for them of course. Last night was the first game of the play-offs which the Lakers one, but Sunday the Magic have another chance. Anyway, did you see that picture of Kobe Bryant practicing before the game? No? Take a look at this:  

I think the Laker's had an unfair advantage. What about you? 

Top Ten Things Never Before Said By The Terminator 

10. "Do these rivets make my butt look big?"
9. "I've decided to stop terminating so I can focus on my hip-hop career."
8. "I have to abandon my primary objective in order to delete the spam in my inbox."
7. "I'll have a decaf latte."
6. "Anybody seen a Jiffy Lube?"
5. "Check out my Tweet."
4. "I see your point, but I have to rip off your head nonetheless."
3. "Come with me if you want to cuddle."
2. "Windows Vista, baby."
And the number one thing never said by the Terminator 
1. "I'll be back, just as soon as I balance the budget"

1956
Elvis Presley appears on Milton Berle TV show. His undulating hip movements during the song "Hound Dog" cause quite a controversy.
1968
Seconds after Senator Robert F. Kennedy is shot dead by Sirhan Sirhan in a Los Angeles hotel, witnesses wrestle the Palestinian to the ground and grab his smoking .22-caliber revolver. Sirhan later claims to have been acting unconsciously, possibly the result of hypnotic brainwashing.
1975
During the "Wish You Were Here" recording sessions, Syd Barrett just happens to wander into Abbey Road studio while Pink Floyd are mixing "Shine On You Crazy Diamond," a song written about Barrett. At first, none of Syd's former bandmates recognizes the fat, bald lunatic who is compulsively brushing his teeth.
1986
A 52-year old man in Auburn, Washington dies after taking an Excedrin capsule laced with cyanide. This is the first of two Excedrin deaths.
1998
Reuters and ABC News both erroneously report the death of Bob Hope, after Arizona congressman Bob Stump announces the comedian's demise on the floor of the U.S. Congress. This is to the great surprise of Bob Hope himself, who was eating breakfast at the time.

Koko Taylor: This is what happens when you keep wang dang doodling all night long.

David Carradine: Time for you to leave.

And now for a new pheature called..

Phact 1: Sneezing may be a symptom of pregnancy. Expectant mothers often sneeze for no apparent reason.

Phact 2: Snoop Dogg's real name is Cordozar Calvin Broadus Jr.
Phact 3: The typical pine cone is female.
Phact 4: The first World Wide Web search engine was called Wandex.
Phact 5: According to a recent study, 87% of women use scissors as their first throw when playing "Rock, Scissors, Paper."

Alright, my guests today are some really cool rockers from California who is about to start a tour on July 10th, and who has a new album that just came out on March 31st. Oh, and they're not gay. Please welcome to the Phile... In the Red.

Me: Hello, fellas, how are you? Welcome to the Phile.

Matt: We're really tired. We just got back from Punk Rock Bowling in Las Vegas. It was a riot and almost too much fun.

Me: You guys are about to start a tour. Will this be your first national tour?

Matt: We're gonna kick off the tour in our neighboring town of Ventura, California. Then we head up the coast to the San Francisco area. We've shot through most of the states before, but the tour was booked by us and was poorly promoted. This is Why I Hate booking larger tours on our own.

Me: Who will you be on tour with?

Mike: Primarily we're going to be teaming up with our friend Collin Moore from Canada.
We'll be doing shows with friends all over the country.

Me: You guys are based in Carpinteria, California. Where is that?

Matt: Carpinteria is a really small town just south of Santa Barbara, Ca. It's beautiful here. Always a fair temperature and not very crowded which is Why I Hope we stay here for a long time.

Me: Congrats on signing to Suburban Home Records. Is that a Cali based label? You guys must be thrilled, eh?

Matt: Suburban Home is based in Denver, Colorodo. We are so proud and beyond thrilled to be a part of their family. Quite possibly the best group of people in the industry.

Me: How is your CD coming along? Any idea when it'll be out, and will it be on iTunes?

Matt: Volumes 1.5 and 2 are finished. We plan to release a series of four 7" records over a period of 4 months... Not sure about iTunes.

Me: Okay, are you two just in the band, or are you going on tour with any other players? Which one of you sings, and writes the music?

Matt: Mike and I have been the only irreplaceable members of the band since the beginning. Mike sings, but we have a chemistry writing the songs together. We've recently found two individuals that we've been able to work in to the formula that have been great.

Me: In The Red is a good name for the band, and can have many explanations. What is yours, and who came up with that name?

Matt: It was a mutual decision. It pretty much explains the situation that us cursed musicians are in. Can't afford doing it, but love it way too much to stop.

Me: I was looking at your inspirations, and you guys listed a band called Matallica. Is that a Metallica cover band?

Matt: Um, ah, yeah we don't spell too good do we.

Me: You also have Juliana Hatfield listed. Have you ever seen her in concert? She would be one dream interview?

Mike: Never been fortunate enough to see her live. Still waiting for the day. Danzig is in town next weekend!

Me: I would come to your show in Gainesville, Florida, but something tells me there would be a mosh pit, and I am afraid of mosh pits.

Matt: Actually it's usually a bunch of raised beers and hugs all around.

Me: Speaking of Gainesville, Mike, you are from there right? And Matt is from California? How did you guys meet from one coast to the other?

Matt: Really, really long story. The short side is that we met at a Hot Water Music show after Mike moved to Santa Barbara. We thought that since we had similar interests in music, it might be a good idea that we played together.

Mike: We were drunk as hell at a hot water music show... drunk as hell! 5 or 6 years ago. Been playin together ever since.

Me: Mike, did you know Reel Big Fish? They are from G-ville as well. Also, I hope you are a Gators fan.

Mike: Wrong ska band, dude! Less Than Jake is from Gainesville. And yes i'm friends with all of them. Reel Big Fish on the other hand is from California. I dont' know any of them. But, I do know John Pebsworth from Buck O Nine! (San Diego if your wondering).

Me: When did you live in G-ville? Did you know a store called Get In-Line that sold in-line skates? What about Leonardo's restaurant?

Mike: I lived in Gainesville from 94 to the end of 2003. I actually bussed tables at Leonardo's between tours for about a month.

Me: Finally, plug your website and anything else you want to say. Also, what do you say if someone doesn't like In The Red?

Matt: Thanks for your time to anyone that reads this! If you don't like in In The Red then fuck you!

Mike: That's how we roll!

Me: Take care, and let me know when that CD of yours is released.

Mike and Matt: Hey thanks man! Cheers!

PHINALLY

I forgot to ask them what their website is. Check them out at myspace.com/intheredrock. I need to interview those dudes again. Anyway, thanks to Matt and Mike for the interview, and for correcting me on getting my ska bands screwed up. Man, I always get my facts confused, don't I? Thanks also to Wikipedia. The Phile will be back on Monday with an interview with singer Blake Ian. Until then, go Magic, drop me a line at thepeverettphile@gmail.com and as always spread the word, not the turd.