Pheaturing Gurf Morlix

 

PHIRST OF

Hello, welcome to the Phile, the most updated blog on the internet. Today's entry is sponsored by Dinosaurs. Dinosaurs... Never Forget. So, if you are in a theme park and see a duckling drowning, don't go into the pond to rescue it. I am just saying. Tomorrow I am going to see Kelly Clarkson in concert. I am going to get there extra early so I can be center stage, front row. And if David Cook thinks he has stalker problems... Anyway, Kelly will look at me, fall in love and I will bring her home and we will live together and have many children and... oh, what would Jen say? Never mind. Kelly's life won't be the same once she sees me and won't be able to have me. Have you kids been watching "American Idol"? I am glad my girl Megan is still on it, but I wished Adam was kicked off instead of Michael. I don't know about you, but Adam creeps me out with his blindness and a million facial expressions per minute. And I can't take one more shot of his sister who is also blind trying to clap with that dazed look on her face. As far as Michael goes, even though he was kicked off last night, he is going to have some kinda music career. David Letterman got married over the weekend. Why would he get married? Maybe he was running out of reasons to be cranky. There’s more: Harrison Ford got engaged to Calista Flockhart over the weekend. This is the first time six carats doesn’t mean her lunch. On “The View,” Barbara Walters made a joke about a vibrator. Thankfully, “The View” is on in the morning before people have eaten anything they can throw up. President Obama held a press conference the other night. He’s been on TV a lot lately. The only way he could on TV more is if he were the Octo-Mom. The Octo-Mom herself was in the news. She said she fired her nanny because she was “spying.” No Octo-Mom — that’s what we call “looking after the kids.” Obama was on TV saying Americans are angry. We are angry. But we don’t want a press conference — we want to see Obama pelting AIG executives with a sock full of quarters shouting, “Here’s change we can believe in!” The Environmental Protection Agency says that traces of pharmaceuticals have been found in rivers and lakes all across the country. This can lead to very serious side effects like fish with erections lasting more than four hours. HBO is making a movie about the Clintons. Julianne Moore and Dennis Quaid are the actors. They’re very good. They will be very believable — especially Dennis Quaid as Hillary. And parents, here's a warning, if you want to take the kids to the movies, be careful of the movie Witch Mount. That's not the one with the Rock, trust me. I have a really good blog for you today. There's a top ten list, In History, a joke and and interview with Gurf Morlix. 

From the home office in Groveland, Florida, here is this week's top ten list...

Top Ten Rejected Kelly Clarkson Songs

10. Because of Jason

9. Behind These Hazel Thighs

8. Since Glue Be Gone

7. Jason Is a Beautiful Disasster

6. Miss Peverett

6. Phile Away

5. Never A Gain

4. Dirty Little Seacrest

3. The Trouble With Jason Is

2. My Grown-Up Top Ten List

And the number one Kelly Clarkson Rejected Song

1. I Love Jason And I Want To Have Wild And Crazy Sex With Him

30
Pontius Pilate condemns Jesus to death.
1866
Patent for a urinal is granted to Andrew Rankin.
1945
Argentina declares war on Nazi Germany. Of course, this was just a silly charade for the benefit of the world community. Argentina would be a quiet ally of Germany for the duration of the war, even welcoming many Nazi and SS leaders to emigrate there in the aftermath.
1964
One of the largest quakes in US history strikes southeast of Anchorage, Alaska, hitting 8.6 on the Richter scale. 118 people are killed, and a tidal wave destroys four square blocks of Anchorage. The control tower at the airport, 60 feet high, snapped. Damage in the state is estimated at $500 million.
1977
The worst airline disaster in history occurs when the confused pilot of a KLM Boeing 747 taking off collides with a Pan Am Boeing 747 which was on the runway. A total of 583 people die.
2001
Vatican officials reported three days ago on the exhumation of Pope John XXIII, which occurred quietly on January 16. The pontiff's body, dead for 37 years now, was described as having a face that "has not changed since his death."

A guy is driving through New Mexico when he sees a Native American thumbing for a ride. He pulls over, and the hitchhiker gets in. After a bit of small talk, the Indian notices a brown bag in the front seat.
“What’s in the bag?” he asks.
“It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife,” says the driver.
“Hmm,” says the Indian. “Good trade.”

Today's interview is with is an American multi-instrumentalist, vocalist, and record producer residing for many years in Austin, Texas. He has worked with many of the best known performers of Americana and alternative country music. His most notable works include albums by Lucinda Williams, Robert Earl Keen, Mary Gauthier, Ray Wylie Hubbard, and Slaid Cleaves. The instruments that he plays include guitar, bass, mandolin, mandocello, dobro, pedal steel, Weissenborn, banjo, harmonica, and drums. He is a member of the Austin Music Awards Hall of Fame and the Buffalo Music Hall of Fame. Please welcome to the Phile... Gurf Morlix. 

Me: Hello, sir, welcome to the Peverett Phile. How are you? I have to say, you have the coolest name. It's like something out of Star Wars. Is there a story behind it? 

Gurf: Sure, any story you like. I've told a lot of 'em.

Me: At the time of writing these questions you are getting ready for a big tour, right? Where will you be going? 

Gurf: I am in Brussels, Belgium at the moment, freezing!

Me: Who is in your band, sir? 

Gurf: Playin’ solo this time out. Me and my foot thumper.

Me: You had a very busy year producing a lot of albums. Tell the Phile readers who you have worked with last year. 

Gurf: I produced records for Slaid Cleaves, Romi Mayes, Bettysoo, and a band called Porter Davis. Plus my new album.

Me: This year I hope will be as busy for you. You have a new CD called "Last Exit to Happyland". Where did that title come from? 

Gurf: Out of the sky, like they all do.

Me: Do you have any people I would know guesting on it? 

Gurf: Do you know Patty Griffin? Do you know Ruthie Foster? Do you know Barbara K of Timbuk 3 fame? They're all on there.

Me: Do you like producing and singing your own albums or working with other singers better? 

Gurf: I like it all. I love my job.

Me: Let's talk about your other two albums... "Birth To Boneyard" and "Diamonds Into Dust". One is an instrumental of the other, isn't it? That's a very unusual idea. What made you do that? 

Gurf: I thought maybe I could get some of the music placed in films. And I was right.

Me: Gurf, you are the third person who played with Lucinda Williams that I interviewed. Do you know Jeff Cameron or Mike Finnigan? Are you still friends with Ms. Williams? 

Gurf: Don't know those young men.

Me: I am hoping to interview her soon. What is the one question I should ask her? 

Gurf: That's a loaded gun, there.

Me: I also hope to interview Ian McLagen real soon. What should I ask him? How did you get to know him? 

Gurf: Ian Mclagen (proper spelling), and I met in Austin through a mutual friend. Hit it off immediately.

Me: I would love to interview Warren Zevon, but maybe in another life. When did you tour with him? I got to meet him in '91 or '92 when he did a solo acoustic tour and he was one of the nicest musicians I ever met. Was he a joy to work with? Do you know his son? 

Gurf: Don't think I ever met Jordan. Maybe briefly. Warren was indeed a class act.

Me: I read that you play a shit load of instruments, sir. Can you list all that you play? 

Gurf: Most anything I can get my hands on, with the exception of the fiddle. And wind instruments.

Me: I play the kazoo... so if you ever need a kazoo player. Anyway, do you play all the instruments on your albums? It saves labor costs I am sure. 

Gurf: Hmmm... kazoo... Are you in the union? Got a card?

Q: What was your first instrument you learned to play and how old were you? 

Gurf: Guitar, when I was 13.

Me: I have to ask you about Peter Case. You've been friends with him a long time. How did you two meet? 

Gurf: On the football field, in our hometown. Little kids playing sandlot football.

Me: Sir, where are you from and where do you live now? 

Gurf: Beautiful Austin, Texas.

Me: I have to ask you about Rootball Studio. When did you open it, and where is it? Where did the name come from? Do you do all your producing and recording there? 

Gurf: I do most of it there. It's outside of Austin. The name just sounded cool. Out of the sky.

Me: Congrats on being put into two hall of fames. Austin and Buffalo. You deserve to be in The Hall of Fame, sir. Would that be a big thrill for you? 

Gurf: That ain't never gonna happen.

Me: You worked with Michael Penn, Sean's brother. Was Aimee Mann hanging out at the studio with him? 

Gurf: Aimee was around a bit. She's great.

Me: Gurf, it has been a pleasure interviewing you. I wish you all the luck with your new CD "Last Exit to Happyland". I will buy it as soon as it hits iTunes. Take care. 

Gurf: Thanks. It's been fun.

PHINALLY

I think he went to the Dexter Romweber School of Interviews. LOL. I hope you enjoyed this entry of the Phile. It'll be back next Phriday with an interview with the sweet and lovely Alexis Thompson from Oh, Alexis. Thanks to Wikipedia and of course Gurf Morlix. Now I am gonna go and take Logan to see Monsters Vs. Aliens. So, spread the word, not the turd.