Pheaturing Gurf Morlix

 

PHIRST OF

Hello, welcome to the Phile, the most updated blog on the internet. Today's entry is sponsored by Dinosaurs. Dinosaurs... Never Forget. So, if you are in a theme park and see a duckling drowning, don't go into the pond to rescue it. I am just saying. Tomorrow I am going to see Kelly Clarkson in concert. I am going to get there extra early so I can be center stage, front row. And if David Cook thinks he has stalker problems... Anyway, Kelly will look at me, fall in love and I will bring her home and we will live together and have many children and... oh, what would Jen say? Never mind. Kelly's life won't be the same once she sees me and won't be able to have me. Have you kids been watching "American Idol"? I am glad my girl Megan is still on it, but I wished Adam was kicked off instead of Michael. I don't know about you, but Adam creeps me out with his blindness and a million facial expressions per minute. And I can't take one more shot of his sister who is also blind trying to clap with that dazed look on her face. As far as Michael goes, even though he was kicked off last night, he is going to have some kinda music career. David Letterman got married over the weekend. Why would he get married? Maybe he was running out of reasons to be cranky. There’s more: Harrison Ford got engaged to Calista Flockhart over the weekend. This is the first time six carats doesn’t mean her lunch. On “The View,” Barbara Walters made a joke about a vibrator. Thankfully, “The View” is on in the morning before people have eaten anything they can throw up. President Obama held a press conference the other night. He’s been on TV a lot lately. The only way he could on TV more is if he were the Octo-Mom. The Octo-Mom herself was in the news. She said she fired her nanny because she was “spying.” No Octo-Mom — that’s what we call “looking after the kids.” Obama was on TV saying Americans are angry. We are angry. But we don’t want a press conference — we want to see Obama pelting AIG executives with a sock full of quarters shouting, “Here’s change we can believe in!” The Environmental Protection Agency says that traces of pharmaceuticals have been found in rivers and lakes all across the country. This can lead to very serious side effects like fish with erections lasting more than four hours. HBO is making a movie about the Clintons. Julianne Moore and Dennis Quaid are the actors. They’re very good. They will be very believable — especially Dennis Quaid as Hillary. And parents, here's a warning, if you want to take the kids to the movies, be careful of the movie Witch Mount. That's not the one with the Rock, trust me. I have a really good blog for you today. There's a top ten list, In History, a joke and and interview with Gurf Morlix. 

From the home office in Groveland, Florida, here is this week's top ten list...

Top Ten Rejected Kelly Clarkson Songs

10. Because of Jason

9. Behind These Hazel Thighs

8. Since Glue Be Gone

7. Jason Is a Beautiful Disasster

6. Miss Peverett

6. Phile Away

5. Never A Gain

4. Dirty Little Seacrest

3. The Trouble With Jason Is

2. My Grown-Up Top Ten List

And the number one Kelly Clarkson Rejected Song

1. I Love Jason And I Want To Have Wild And Crazy Sex With Him

30
Pontius Pilate condemns Jesus to death.
1866
Patent for a urinal is granted to Andrew Rankin.
1945
Argentina declares war on Nazi Germany. Of course, this was just a silly charade for the benefit of the world community. Argentina would be a quiet ally of Germany for the duration of the war, even welcoming many Nazi and SS leaders to emigrate there in the aftermath.
1964
One of the largest quakes in US history strikes southeast of Anchorage, Alaska, hitting 8.6 on the Richter scale. 118 people are killed, and a tidal wave destroys four square blocks of Anchorage. The control tower at the airport, 60 feet high, snapped. Damage in the state is estimated at $500 million.
1977
The worst airline disaster in history occurs when the confused pilot of a KLM Boeing 747 taking off collides with a Pan Am Boeing 747 which was on the runway. A total of 583 people die.
2001
Vatican officials reported three days ago on the exhumation of Pope John XXIII, which occurred quietly on January 16. The pontiff's body, dead for 37 years now, was described as having a face that "has not changed since his death."

A guy is driving through New Mexico when he sees a Native American thumbing for a ride. He pulls over, and the hitchhiker gets in. After a bit of small talk, the Indian notices a brown bag in the front seat.
“What’s in the bag?” he asks.
“It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife,” says the driver.
“Hmm,” says the Indian. “Good trade.”

Today's interview is with is an American multi-instrumentalist, vocalist, and record producer residing for many years in Austin, Texas. He has worked with many of the best known performers of Americana and alternative country music. His most notable works include albums by Lucinda Williams, Robert Earl Keen, Mary Gauthier, Ray Wylie Hubbard, and Slaid Cleaves. The instruments that he plays include guitar, bass, mandolin, mandocello, dobro, pedal steel, Weissenborn, banjo, harmonica, and drums. He is a member of the Austin Music Awards Hall of Fame and the Buffalo Music Hall of Fame. Please welcome to the Phile... Gurf Morlix. 

Me: Hello, sir, welcome to the Peverett Phile. How are you? I have to say, you have the coolest name. It's like something out of Star Wars. Is there a story behind it? 

Gurf: Sure, any story you like. I've told a lot of 'em.

Me: At the time of writing these questions you are getting ready for a big tour, right? Where will you be going? 

Gurf: I am in Brussels, Belgium at the moment, freezing!

Me: Who is in your band, sir? 

Gurf: Playin’ solo this time out. Me and my foot thumper.

Me: You had a very busy year producing a lot of albums. Tell the Phile readers who you have worked with last year. 

Gurf: I produced records for Slaid Cleaves, Romi Mayes, Bettysoo, and a band called Porter Davis. Plus my new album.

Me: This year I hope will be as busy for you. You have a new CD called "Last Exit to Happyland". Where did that title come from? 

Gurf: Out of the sky, like they all do.

Me: Do you have any people I would know guesting on it? 

Gurf: Do you know Patty Griffin? Do you know Ruthie Foster? Do you know Barbara K of Timbuk 3 fame? They're all on there.

Me: Do you like producing and singing your own albums or working with other singers better? 

Gurf: I like it all. I love my job.

Me: Let's talk about your other two albums... "Birth To Boneyard" and "Diamonds Into Dust". One is an instrumental of the other, isn't it? That's a very unusual idea. What made you do that? 

Gurf: I thought maybe I could get some of the music placed in films. And I was right.

Me: Gurf, you are the third person who played with Lucinda Williams that I interviewed. Do you know Jeff Cameron or Mike Finnigan? Are you still friends with Ms. Williams? 

Gurf: Don't know those young men.

Me: I am hoping to interview her soon. What is the one question I should ask her? 

Gurf: That's a loaded gun, there.

Me: I also hope to interview Ian McLagen real soon. What should I ask him? How did you get to know him? 

Gurf: Ian Mclagen (proper spelling), and I met in Austin through a mutual friend. Hit it off immediately.

Me: I would love to interview Warren Zevon, but maybe in another life. When did you tour with him? I got to meet him in '91 or '92 when he did a solo acoustic tour and he was one of the nicest musicians I ever met. Was he a joy to work with? Do you know his son? 

Gurf: Don't think I ever met Jordan. Maybe briefly. Warren was indeed a class act.

Me: I read that you play a shit load of instruments, sir. Can you list all that you play? 

Gurf: Most anything I can get my hands on, with the exception of the fiddle. And wind instruments.

Me: I play the kazoo... so if you ever need a kazoo player. Anyway, do you play all the instruments on your albums? It saves labor costs I am sure. 

Gurf: Hmmm... kazoo... Are you in the union? Got a card?

Q: What was your first instrument you learned to play and how old were you? 

Gurf: Guitar, when I was 13.

Me: I have to ask you about Peter Case. You've been friends with him a long time. How did you two meet? 

Gurf: On the football field, in our hometown. Little kids playing sandlot football.

Me: Sir, where are you from and where do you live now? 

Gurf: Beautiful Austin, Texas.

Me: I have to ask you about Rootball Studio. When did you open it, and where is it? Where did the name come from? Do you do all your producing and recording there? 

Gurf: I do most of it there. It's outside of Austin. The name just sounded cool. Out of the sky.

Me: Congrats on being put into two hall of fames. Austin and Buffalo. You deserve to be in The Hall of Fame, sir. Would that be a big thrill for you? 

Gurf: That ain't never gonna happen.

Me: You worked with Michael Penn, Sean's brother. Was Aimee Mann hanging out at the studio with him? 

Gurf: Aimee was around a bit. She's great.

Me: Gurf, it has been a pleasure interviewing you. I wish you all the luck with your new CD "Last Exit to Happyland". I will buy it as soon as it hits iTunes. Take care. 

Gurf: Thanks. It's been fun.

PHINALLY

I think he went to the Dexter Romweber School of Interviews. LOL. I hope you enjoyed this entry of the Phile. It'll be back next Phriday with an interview with the sweet and lovely Alexis Thompson from Oh, Alexis. Thanks to Wikipedia and of course Gurf Morlix. Now I am gonna go and take Logan to see Monsters Vs. Aliens. So, spread the word, not the turd. 

Pheaturing Will Kimbrough

PHIRST OF

Welcome to the Phile, are you ready to get your Phriday phix? So, did you have a good St. Patrick's Day? There was so much green at Epcot it made me ill. I hate it when people wear "Kiss Me I'm Irish" shirts and they are not even from Ireland. Warning to everybody: do not make green beer out of Scope. News came out that the Army fired 11 soldiers for being openly gay. Apparently, the decision was made after officials found one sergeant handling 10 privates.
The pastor of the Times Square Church in New York is predicting that the end of the world. This is a lose-lose proposition. Either the world ends, or he’s talking shit. Either way it’s not good. The theological term for this is painting yourself into a corner. If you really want to get ahead if you’re a doomsdayer, predict that the world will not end. Predict next Tuesday, the world will not end. Then when it comes and it does end, who cares, no one will be around to say you were wrong; and if it doesn’t end, people will say, “He’s a prophet!” Scientists think they may have evidence of life on Mars. There’s a TV show about life on Mars. It’s about a detective who goes back in time to the ‘70s when everyone was doing drugs and having sex and polishing their disco balls. When I was growing up, there were always fights in the discos. And the irony of getting the crap beat out of you while listening to “I Will Survive” is not lost on me.
After receiving bailout money, insurance giant AIG gave out $165 million in bonus checks to executives. The problems is, legally, they are entitled to the money. I think I have an idea that would still adhere to the letter of the law: Instead of mailing the checks, we attach them to rocks, and we put them at the bottom of an enormous piranha tank. Well, I have a good entry for you today. There's a new death to mention, things what happened today in history, geek talk and of course this week's interview with Will Kimbrough. 

Natasha Richardson: Went downhill fast.


An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the Pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone. An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers. Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?"
"Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies. "You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America , and the other to Australia . We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."
The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer, and soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink. Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening. He orders only two beers. The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers. The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know, the two beers and all."The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, meself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent."


1899
Martha M. Place, the first woman to be honored by a seat in the electric chair, dies at Sing-Sing Prison, executed for murder.
1928
Fred Rogers, born today in Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.
1960
South African police massacre 69 black civil rights demonstrators in Sharpeville incident, which moves African National Congress to abandon its policy of nonviolence.
1968
The U.S. goes off the gold standard, turning paper dollars into paper tigers.
1969
John Lennon and Yoko Ono get married in Gibraltar. The pair go on to make, uh, beautiful music together until Lennon manages to get himself shot in New York.
1995
Members of the Aum cult release Sarin nerve gas in the Tokyo subway. Eleven people die and 5,500 are injured. The cult's doctrine of "Poa" make mass murder the way to save their own souls. They had intended eventually to produce 70 tons of the gas.
1995
Last words of Thomas J. Grasso, executed in Oklahoma by lethal injection: "I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this."
1996
Erik and Lyle Menendez convicted of First Degree Murder. They killed their parents for their money, and then lied all about it.


When it comes to superhero franchises, the news just never ends, and the next one on everyone's radar is bound to be Spider-Man 4. It has its release date set (May 6, 2011) and Sam Raimi says they're only working on part four at this point, and still in the middle of hashing out a story. They are, however, close to choosing the big baddie: "All the characters or villains, whatever we decide to do will be from Stan Lee's creations or those that came after him." He's also planning to write in Mary Jane, and hopes Kirsten Dunst agrees to come back... so I guess that's an indication she's still not signed the way Tobey Maguire is. [MTV] X-Men Origins: Wolverine seems to have test screened, somewhere, and spoiler filled reviews are hitting the Internet. I haven't read them (surprises in this job are so far and few between that I'd like to go into Wolverine fairly fresh) but Devin Faraci is wondering how the heck they can go to Japan from here... or anywhere, really. One of the biggest questions (other than: Will it suck?) surrounding Wolverine is what they've done with Deadpool. The LA Times' Dish Rag caught up with Ryan Reynolds and he painted a tiny picture of how the film approaches the character: "I don't even look at it like I play Deadpool. I really think I'm more or less playing Wade Wilson, obviously, and then I'm playing the creature that will eventually become Deadpool. But in this movie, it's sort of his newly formed version, so to speak." He also shrugs off rumors that he's being groomed for his own spinoff. "I've had a couple of people approach me about meetings for a 'Deadpool' movie, but I just think it's absurd to even think that way until this movie comes out." X2 and Watchmen scripwriter David Hayter has formed a production company, Dark Hero, with Benedict Carver. First up: Slaughter's Road, starring Thomas Dekker and (possibly) Ray Stevenson. Demonology is also on the slate. So if big studios don't tackle tricky comic properties, Hayter may just do it himself. [Variety] Monster Attack Network now has a director: the man who beat Watchmen at the box office, Race to Witch Mountain's Andy Fickman. [Variety]

Okay, today's guest is an American Singer-Songwriter, musician and producer currently based in Nashville, Tennessee. He has a new double album out which rocks, and he plays with Rodney Crowell. Please welcome to the Phile... Will Kimbrough.

Me: Will, sir, welcome to the Phile. You are one of my favorite guitarists. I know you are a busy guy so thanks for doing this interview. Will, how are you and how has your year been so far? 

Will: I am in Helsinki, Finland this morning. On tour with Jenny Scheinman and Rodney Crowell. After less touring than normal in 2008, I am back on the road in early 2009. I'm playing Scotland, Ireland, England, Sweden, Norway and Finland this trip. While I am on tour, John Deaderick and Tommy Womack are mixing the new Daddy album. The artwork is underway, and we are planning a Father's Day 2009 release. I also have a new solo CD almost finished. I have also been working as a producer---you may know I produced two records by Todd Snider, "East Nashville Skyline" and "The Devil You Know". Four albums I produced over the past 18 months have now been mastered and are in the pipeline to be released----Austin's Bonnie Bishop, Canada's Dave McCann, South Carolina's Angela Easterling, and Denver artist Dave Zobl. When I get home from the tour, I will go back into the studio with Pennsylvania trio Gypsy Dave and the Stumpjumpers.

Me: Where are you from, Will, and where do you live now?

Will: I was born and raised in Mobile, Alabama, down on the Gulf Coast between Pensacola and New Orleans. I have been in Nashville for many years.

Me: I first heard about you from your first band Will & The Bushmen. You got some airplay on MTV back then. What do you think of MTV now?

Will: I don't think of MTV all that often. I don't watch a lot of TV. Not enough music on there.

Me: You also had another band called the Bis-Quits on John Prine's label I think. Was John a treat to work with? Was that only a one album deal?

Will: John Prine is a national treasure. The Bis-Quits broke up after one album. I have continued to work with two of my fellow Bis-Quits over the years----Mike Grimes played on my albums "This" and "Home Away". Tommy Womack has played on several of my albums, I play on most of his, and we are in Daddy together.

Me: Do you prefer to produce? That's where you got most of your success from I believe. If I know an album is produced by you, I will def buy it. Tell the Phile readers who have produced for?

Will: I prefer to be involved in music making as much as possible, and producing is just another bend in what is hopefully a long road. If I have had any success, it's more as a songwriter for Jimmy Buffett, Little Feat, Jack Ingram and Todd Snider, but I have produced Todd, Kate Campbell, Adrienne Young and quite a few other artists.

Me: Have you ever worked with John Hiatt, or toured with him?

Will: No, but I would love to work with John Hiatt. His "Bring The Family" and "Slow Turning" records were played over and over on my turntable.

Me: Tell me about your new band called Daddy. You had one live album out with that outfit. Where was that recorded and how different is Daddy's music from your solo stuff.

Will: Daddy is a band with my friends Tommy Womack, John Deaderick, Paul Griffith and Dave Jacques. Between us, we have worked with John Prine, Buffett, Jason and the Scorchers, Patty Griffin, Jo El Sonnier, Cerys Matthews, Emmylou Harris, Rodney Crowell, Michael McDonald, and on and on. It's a dream come true to play with my talented mates. Daddy is a rock n roll band for a world that needs rock n roll real bad. The music is a coninuation of what our heroes started----Chuck Berry, Muddy Waters, Bo Diddley, Little Richard, Howlin' Wolf, NRBQ, The Rolling Stones, The Kinks, John Prine, Motown, Stax, Sun Records. We are keeping the roll in rock n roll.

Me: I have all four of your solo albums, Will. Your last one was an 8 song EP. Are you working on a follow-up?

Will: Yes, I've recorded 16 songs and I'm trying to find time to get them finished and mixed and see which tunes work together as a coherent whole.

Me: What album is your favorite?

Will: The EP is my favorite.

Me: I love the album "Americanitis". There's a theme on the whole album, isn't there? What do you think of America right now, under the leadership of Obama?

Will: I am not a Bush Administration fan, but that is past us now, isn't it? I still think peace is better than war and hope is better than fear. Obama has only had a couple of weeks in office, but I like the Lilly Ledbetter Equal Pay law he just signed. It's about time.

Me: You won the American Music Association Instrumentalist of the Year. When was that, where and who voted for you? Congratulations.

Will: I believe that was 2004. Members of the Americana Music Association voted for me, and I didn't even have to pay them very much for their votes. Thank you.

Me: Will, I have readers that are into guitar equipment and that sort of thing. What make of guitar do you play? I am guessing Gibson. Do you play any other instruments?

Will: I play Fenders, Ernie Ball/Music Man guitars, Gibson, Gretsch, and lots of old cheap guitars like Silvertones, Harmonies, Teisco Del Rey, etc. I also play bass, mandolin, banjo, keyboards, harmonica, accordion, melodica, percussion. I have played drums on a couple of songs on my solo albums and a Todd Snider album, but I would not dare to call myself a drummer. I will try to play anything.

Me: I am a Jimmy Buffett fan and know you wrote a song on his "License To Chill" album called "Piece of Work". Was that written for just him or did you write it for yourself and he wanted it?

Will: I wrote "Piece of Work" in a hospital bathroom while waiting for one of my daughters to grow big enough to go home from the hospital after she was born a couple of weeks early. Jimmy heard it on my CD "Home Away" and we've been working together, on songs and in the studio, ever since.

Me: I tried to interview Jimmy but I think that's next to impossible. How is he?

Will: Jimmy's fine and dandy. The last I heard, he was surfing in the French West Indies. Go figure. He's a good man.

Me: You are working with one of my idols, Will. Damn, I am jealous. How long have you known Rodney Crowell and when did you first start to work with him?

Will: I met Rodney through a friend who was his front of house and tour manager. When Steuart Smith joined the Eagles, Rodney was in need of a guitar player, and I got a chance at the gig. That was early 2000... so you can do the math.

Me: Okay, I have to ask you this... are you an alien? I am... alien resident that is. When did fans of yours start calling you an alien? Were you flattered? My fans call me as ass.

Will: I'm flattered just to have fans. I am not at liberty to reveal my true identity. Meep zorp.

Me: Will, what kind of music do you listen to when you are relaxing?

Will: On the plane yesterday, I was listening to Jelly Roll Morton. I was reading about FDR's first 100 days as President, and I thought they went together well. I like Allen Toussaint, Bela Bartok, Doug Sahm, Dylan, anything with Earl Palmer on drums, Jimmy Giuffre 3, Michael Hurley, Mississippi John Hurt, Nick Cave, Thelonious Monk, Randy Newman, Harry Nilsson, Willie Nelson, Ronnie Lane, The Stanley Brothers, Tim Hardin, Tom T Hall and Yo La Tengo. Elvis, Beatles and the Rolling Stones.

Me: When you were a teenager you were in a punk band, right? When did your music tastes change?

Will: We were definitely a bunch of punks. My taste hasn't really changed all that much. If "London Calling" came out today, they'd call it roots rock.

Me: Have you spoken to Jessie Baylin lately, Will? You played on her "Firesight" album I believe. I just interviewed her as well. She seems real down to Earth. Who else do you think I should interview?

Will: I haven't seen Jessie in a while. I think she's pretty busy on her own, and her husband's in Kings of Leon, so I'd guess there's some traveling to do just to hang out together. Jessie's a great singer, and a real cool hang.

Me: I put in requests to interview some of your friends... Todd Snider, Tommy Womack and of course Rodney. What should I ask each of them?

Will: Ask them if my check is in the mail, and get them to say flattering things about my dog.

Me: Will, I wish you a lot of luck on the road and with your music, sir. Once again thanks for doing this interview. Go ahead and plug anything you wish and I hope to interview you again one day. Peace.

Will: Thanks for having me. Daddy, "For a Second Time", to be released Summer 2009. Enjoy.

PHINALLY

Thanks to Will for a great interview and of course you, the readers. So, how do you like the newly improved Phile? E-mail me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com and let me know what you think, kids. The next entry of the Phile will be next Phriday with guitarist Gurf Morlix. I will also probably have major bathroom problems as next Saturday's the Kelly Clarkson concert. Anyway, until then, spread the word, not the turd.

THIS HAS BEEN A JAY-PEA PRODUCTION

The Peverett Phile Interviews: Jordan From The Scenery

PHIRST OF

Hi there, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. I am your host Walter Ray Williams. This is the most updated blog on the internet. What a long day I had today. First I had the Bowl-A-Thon in the morning (which my team lost), then I came home and took Logan to see Race to Witch Mountain. I will post a review of it later in this entry. Maybe in a few years the Phile will have its own bowl-a-thon which I will call the Peverett Phile Bowl-A-Thong. Bernie Madoff pleaded guilty to $50 billion in fraud. He told the judge he was deeply sorry and ashamed and the judge said, “Oh,” before sentencing him to probably the rest of his life. I feel bad for the victims, but the guy’s name is “Made-Off.” Seriously — that’s not a red flag? That’s like hiring a guy named “Bernie Hepatitis” to serve you clams. Wednesday at Epcot starts the International Flower and Garden Festival, or as I like to call it Weeds at Walt Disney World. My favorite displays are Sleeping Beauty's two-lips and Snow White's bush, not to forget Beauty's rose. They all make good scenery... speaking of scenery, today's interview is with a member of the new upcoming band called The Scenery. But first, here is the movie review...

Race to Witch Mountain
Two spooky blond-haired kids with supernatural powers wind up in The Rock's cab with a wad of cash, requesting to be taken out into the middle of the Nevada desert. When shady guys in black Escalades chase them, the grown-up thinks they're being pursued by mobsters, but the kids know that it's the government hunting them down. Why? These are no witches. They're aliens in teenage form on a mission to save their home planet. Further complications arise when a big robot-like assassin from their planet follows them to Earth. Not even the now-grown-up kids from the first Witch Mountain movie can do much to save them. So, let's say you're a child who's never seen a movie with a car chase in it. Seeing this one will be your orientation seminar for that sort of thing. Because when the characters aren't busy battling it out in a blaze of gunfire with government agents, The Rock is speeding them through the desert in a cab or, in a nod to the original movie, a vintage Winnebago. They even reference Bullitt because it's Johnson's character's favorite film. But all this focus on the adult male lead robs the movie of what would make it appeal to kid audiences the most: kids as the leaders of the action. It's a minor beef, though, because otherwise it's a pretty exciting explosions-and-special-effects-filled remake. This may be the most violent PG-rated Disney film ever made. You don't see any consequences of the gun battles and car chase explosions, but it's clear that people are dying left and right in pursuit of these alien-kids. So parents who are sensitive about that should know what's up. Both of you. Kim Richards (who I used to have a crush on and who I still would love to bonk) and Ike Eisenmann, who played the kids in 1975's Escape to Witch Mountain, appear as a waitress and a sheriff, respectively, but don't have much to do. Again, it's strictly for the grown-ups. And then it's over.

Our guest today is the members of the new band The Scenery who I predict will be huge one day, once their new album comes out. So, please welcome to the Phile... The Scenery.

Me: Hello, fellas, welcome to the Phile. Today is Super Bowl Sunday! So, are you rooting for the Cardinals?

Jordan: Well, for starters it's a really sad situation where we are all originally from... Detroit. The Lions... need I say anything more. I am a die-hard Steelers fan, so of course I had to go with the gold and black on this one. Any other team, we'd go with the Cardinals.

Me: Where in Arizona are you kids from? What is the music scene like there? You're the first band I interviewed from that part of the world.

Jordan: Anthony, Mike, Russ, and I are all from Michigan. We moved to Mesa, Arizona about a year ago. Justin is Gilbert, Arizona born and raised though, so 1/5 of us is from Arizona. The music scene out this way is a little bit different compared to back in Michigan but overall the scene here is amazing, the people are so band friendly. It seems like everyone we meet is really down for what we are trying to do, and they fully support bands.

Me: Do you only play in the Arizona area or do you get to go to Nevada and California?

Jordan: Well, we have only been a band for about 8 months now and haven't played anywhere else except here in Arizona... but we plan on having a few two-week tours through California in the next few upcoming months. But being from the mid-west, ultimately we would like to swing that way as soon as possible!

Me: Let's talk about the band, guys. You have five members, right? What do each of you play?

Jordan: I scream and sing and Anthony sings and plays guitar. Vocally, we harmonize a ton and have 50/50 vocals going on throughout songs. Mike plays lead guitar and Russ plays bass. Justin lays down the beats on drums.

Me: Who started the band and writes the songs? I am guessing you are a very newish band.

Jordan: We all write together. The process usually consists of Mike and Anthony writing some stuff on guitar, Russ will write some bass to it, then comes drums, then Anthony and I will piece by piece write vocals and melodies over and over. The song will be stripped down and changed over and over again before it's even close to being written. We have been a band for less than a year, though we have all had experience in prior projects.

Me: Is this your first interview? It's only up hill from here, kids.

Jordan: This isn't our first interview, but close!

Me: Are you guys still in high school? You all look so young.

Jordan: Anthony is 20. Mike, Russ, and myself are 21. Justin is 24. It's alright though, we're gonna look young when everyone is looking old. We get ID'd for everything.

Me: Are you guys working on an album? Will you be sticking your music up on iTunes? I haven't purchased any music in three hours.

Jordan: We are finishing up our debut EP at The Salt Mine. It should be finished within the next 3 months. We are doing 7 or 8 songs, we haven't decided just yet. Once it's done we are gonna have it available on iTunes and EP's available as well. Who can afford to buy music these days? Insert economy joke ;)

Me: What other bands is The Scenery into?

Jordan: That's the toughest question to answer. The Used, Envy On The Coast, A Day To Remember, Killswitch Engage, The Starting Line, Just Surrender, The Format, Quietdrive, Alexisonfire, Emmure, Boyz II Men, Gucci Man, 2pac, Lil Wayne, Tone tone... etc.

Me: Tell me about the name of the band. Are you talking about mountain, or women?

Jordan: Our name is just a name, we aren't trying to go with the cliche mountainy thing. It's just all about the surroundings, it's where we get our inspiration, from everything around us. Not just physical objects that make up the worlds scenery, but basic influences.

Me: Okay, Jordan, go ahead and plug your website if you have one and tell me a joke.

Jordan: G'd Up From The Feet Up! www.myspace.com/thescenery.

Me: Take care and let me know when you have an album out.

PHINALLY

There you go, good interview. Can't wait to download their music. Thanks to Jordan and The Scenery. Okay, there's going to be an entry date change again. Starting next week the Phile will be posted on Phriday only as it's hard to get on the computer for three days in a row to do this nonsense. My wife would like to get on the computer some time as well. So, Phriday's you'll get a monologue, the history news, an occasional joke, and movie reviews, and of course the interviews. Who will I have next week? Legendary guitarist and songwriter Will Kimbrough. So, until then, spread the word, not the turd. See ya next Phriday.

The Peverett Phile Interviews: Willy Zeen From Ultrazeen

PHIRST OF

Hello, welcome to the Saturday entry of the Phile. Tuesday it's St. Patrick's Day, and even though I'm not Irish, Irish I was drunk. So, how are you? Today we went to a local festival called Pig on the Pond. I didn't see a pig on any pond, but I did see a fat lady in a lake. Does that count? Have you heard Kelly Clarkson's new CD "All I Ever Wanted". If you look closely at the CD cover you'll see in small print it says "Is Jason Peverett". Oh, how I wish. Kelly said on the Regis and Kelly show she is single. Not for long, Kelly, I'll be seeing you in Orlando on the 28th. My wife Jen said if Kelly is dumb enough to put out to you, then have fun. Bad day for Sesame Street. They had to lay off 67 people. Now all the characters are living in garbage cans. Bert and Ernie are getting married just for the benefits. The U.N. says that the world’s population could reach 9 billion by the year 2050. That’s if the Octo Mom doesn’t stop having kids, of course.
Nadya Suleman, everyone’s favorite mother of 14, was on “Dr. Phil” again. I think she might even be living with Dr. Phil now. He got her to admit some of her problems. But on the downside, I think he got her pregnant again. President Obama said that kids need to stay in school longer, either longer days or into the summer, if we want to stay competitive. He said we can’t stick with a school calendar that was created at a time when most Americans were farmers. He’s right — we need a new school calendar for a time when most Americans are unemployed. General Motors announced they wouldn’t need an extra $2 billion from the bailout. They said they’re getting great returns from some guy named Madoff. Bernie Madoff going to jail. He could spend 150 years in the slammer. He won’t get out until he’s 220. The judge said, “Straight to jail — do not pass Go; do not collect $200...” Then Madoff said, “Hey — I can turn that $200 into $400,”... and the judge said, "Hmmm..." Well, I have a good interview for you today. But before we get into that, it's time for the Peverett Phile history lesson.

1883
Karl Marx dies of bronchitis in London.
1932
George Eastman, the founder of Kodak Corporation, kills himself after a long illness. His suicide note states "To my friends: My work is done. Why wait?"
1945
"I am going to jump into my grave laughing because the knowledge that I have the deaths of millions of people on my conscience is a source of extraordinary satisfaction to me." Adolf Eichmann.
1967
Nine German executives of the manufacturer of thalidomide, Grunethal, are charged with breaking their country's drug laws. Thalidomide, a sedative, caused over 12,000 babies in late 1950's Europe to be born with flippers instead of limbs.
1968
Nerve gas leaks from the U.S. Army Dugway Proving Ground, near Skull Valley Utah. The gas killed 1600 sheep on the Goshute indian reservation and made hundreds more sick. Dugway is a test center for chemical and biological agents.
1997
A tank illegally stored at the federal government's Hanford nuclear facility in Washington state explodes, causing the release of 30,000 gallons of plutonium into the environment. The government tried to cover up the incident, going so far as having the Department of Energy deny the release of any contamination.

Today's guest is French, but we won't hold that against him. He's the lead singer for the French rock and roll band Ultrazeen. Welcome to the Phile, Willy Zeen.

Me: Bonjour, Willy, welcome to the Phile. So, how is life in Paris?

Willy: Well, life in Paris is ok. We got some beautiful Girls, nice places, but the negative point: too much cops.

Me: Willy, I have to apologize, I am English. And we all know how much the English love the French. 

Willy: Don't have to apologize, dude, I' m half English. In fact, I was born in Slough, next to London.

Me: So, what's an Ultazeen?

Willy: The name was a joke, we made it up as Ultrazine in the beginning like Cafeine, Nicotine, Amphetamine, etc, etc... All the addiction stuff you know, but we wrote it with a double "E", to create a sort of confusion.

Me: Do you sing in French or English?

Willy: We only sing in English. It sounds better for Rock'n'Roll.

Me: How many 'Zeen people are there? Who is in the band?

Willy: We're four. You've got: Chris on the drums, Stef on bass, Stan on guitar and me (Willy) on vocals. The French touch in our music comes from the members of the band, that's why we stuck on ULTRAZEEN a French touch for Rock'n'Roll. But sure we wanna stay out of garlic rock as you say, we re Night Creatures.

Me: Your album is called "Vs". What does that mean? Will it be available on iTunes?

Willy: The name "Vs" is for Versus. We haven' t got any plans to put it on iTunes for the moment, but you can download our tracks on some sites like 7DigitalIndiestore or X.trib.com.

Me: Your influences you have listed are pretty cool, Willy. I couldn't believe you mentioned the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. 

Willy: Yeah, Jon Spencer Blues Explosion is one of our influences. 

Me: So, is this your first interview?

Willy: No, it' s not our first interview, in fact we' ve done a few now, mostly in France, for magazines and radios, but all so for some other European countries such as Italy, Germany, Spain, England, we even had some tracks played in the States on Gutter Punk Radio and some other radio in Chicago.

Me: When did the band form?

Willy: The band started in 2004, so we're 5 years old.

Me: Any plans for you guys to come to America?

Willy: We will really love to come over to the United States if you' ve got any plans, you're welcome.

Me: So, do you like french fries, french toast, french bread?

Willy: If we like french fries, french toast, french bread, of course, but I guess we prefer french wine.

Me: Willy, thanks for taking part. 

Willy: Well thanks to you, for your work and support. Keep it going, "Bon courage" as we say in France. Take care & and best wishes.

Well, he seemed nice for a Frenchman, didn't he? That about wraps it up for another entry of the Phile. The Phile will be back tomorrow with a member of a new upcoming band, The Scenery. So, spread the word, not the turd.

The Peverett Phile Interviews: Johnathon Schaech

PHIRST OF

Hello, welcome to the new improved and better stylistically confused Phile. I am your host Slumdog Slacker. It's a start of the newly revamped Phile and also Friday the 13th. And no, I am not wearing my hockey mask. So, sad news for fans of the Virgin Megastore... a lot of them are closing down, including the one here in Orlando. Word is they are being replaced by a new store: Burst Cherry. Thanks to everybody who commented about my Grandmother passing away. When Death showed up she asked "Who are you?" "I am Death." Death replied. Then my Grandmother shouted "WHO ARE YOU?!" Disney announced they are going to have two new cruise ships in the next few years. The Disney Dream and Disney Fantasy. My Disney fantasy is Snow White having sex with Cinderella. CNN’s Dr. Sanjay Gupta turned down Obama’s surgeon general job because he would have to take a pay cut. Yeah, you have no idea how much money CNN pays him to keep Larry King alive. Michael Jackson is going to be doing 10 concerts in London this summer and is expected to bring in $400 million... 400 million? That’s enough to settle like 15 “personal” lawsuits. A special Beatles version of the video game Rock Band is coming out. I can’t wait for this. You can play as John, Paul, George, or Ringo. And it comes with a full warranty... in case Yoko shows up. Stocks were up 400 points today. I haven’t seen anything shoot up so fast since Amy Winehouse. The other day Logan and I were watching the cartoon "Static Shock" we couldn't believe it. I didn't know I was a cartoon villain. Take a look.

See what I mean? I am pissed off boy or something. How weird, right? 

1881
An anarchist from the radical group People's Will throws a bomb which disrupts Czar Alexander II's motorcade. After he thanks God for his deliverance, the anarchist yells "It is too early to thank God" and throws a second bomb, causing injuries from which Alexander bleeds to death.
1923
Twenty-two persons killed in a poison rice episode, China. Five cooks are blamed.
1964
At 3:15am, bar manager Catherine "Kitty" Genovese is raped and stabbed to death outside her apartment building in Queens, NY. None of her 38 neighbors who witness the 32-minute ordeal even bothers to call the cops. Later in court, several testify hearing her scream: "Oh my God! He stabbed me! Please help me! I'm dying!"
1996
Salim and Ruksana Patel find the arabic word for Allah spelled in the seeds of an aubergine (a Persian eggplant variant) which they intended for a casserole at their home in Bolton, England. Their local mullah declares it a miracle.
1997
Hassan Abdullah's wife accidentally severs her husband's penis while she was "dreaming about strangling him". Luckily for Abdullah doctors in Malaysia were able to successfully reattach his endangered manhood, but not so lucky is the fact that he sleeps with a woman who keeps a knife in bed and dreams about strangling her husband.
2001
One-eyed, mom-hating serial killer/drifter Henry Lee Lucas dies. Lucas was a serial murderer known for making bogus confessions which prompted police across the country to try and clear hundreds of unsolved cases by dumping them on Henry. He later recanted, saying that his goal was to make the police look stupid. Physical evidence only linked Henry to two of the murders.

From the home office in Groveland, Florida, here is this week's top ten list...

Top Ten Surprising Items In The Economic Bailout Plan 

10. Three billion dollars to "Wheel of Fortune" to make vowels more affordable.
9. Madoff-seeking missile.
8. $15 million to study the effects of pantsuits on international diplomacy.
7. 18% gratuity for Senators.
6. Lehman Brothers replaced by the Jonas Brothers.
5. The bailout plan has a bailout plan.
4. $10 billion to stimulate Joaquin Phoenix.
3. $200,000,000 to produce Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.
2. Stimulus to be delivered by A-Rod's cousin.
And the number one surprising item in the economic bailout plan...
1. It's going to aid the Big Three: Ford, GM and Jessica Simpson.

Today's guest is an with actor, director and writer. His career in movies and television dates back to 1993. He has appeared in such movies as Prom Night, Hush, Welcome to Woop Woop, Splendor, That Thing You Do!, The Doom Generation and Forsaken. And he was married to Christina Applegate. Please welcome to the Phile, Johnathon Schaech.

Me: Hello, Mr. Schaech, welcome to the Phile? Where are you right now?

Johnathon: I’m in Los Angeles sitting in my new home that has all the dry wall torn out yesterday. I’m redoing all the air ducts and making it all new. New everything. Just like my life.

Me: I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing this. Most actors shy away, but musicians love me. Only Jill Wagner, Melissa Joan Hart and Charlyne Yi agreed to be interviewed by me. You've done every talk show known to man, even the "Donny and Marie Show", right? So, I hope this interview doesn't let you down.

Johnathon: As my Australian friend would say, “ No worries, Mate.”

Me: Is it true you were asked to be in a Jay-Z video? Did you say yes right away? I would of been scared shitless. What did you do for it?

Johnathon: I was in Vegas and I got a phone call from an old friend from High School, Chris Robinson. It turned out that Chris had become the top music video director in the country. I just had to go see him. They flew me down to Mexico. Put me in a helicopter... it was dope.
It ’s so weird, Chris walked my sister down Prom Court and here he is on top of the world. I was so proud of him. I played the cop chasing Jay-Z.

Me: I have to ask you about being married to Christina Applegate. I am sorry you two divorced, but are you still friends? And do you watch her show "Samantha Who?"?

Johnathon: Christina Who? 

Me: Enough of that personal stuff, sir. Where are you from originally?

Johnathon: I’m from Edgewood. And so is Chris Robinson. So is my production partner Richard Chizmar.

Me: And when did you first go out to California?

Johnathon: I went to Cali when I was 18.

Me: Was it hard to get an agent?

Johnathon: I don’t remember. I had the greatest agent ever after I booked the Franco Zeffereli movie. Ilene Feldman. I remember she discovered Johnny Depp and Christian Slater. But after her, the agents just came and went. Except now of course. MY AGENTS ROCK!

Me: You're a frat boy, right? Where did you go to school, and tell me about Lambda Chi Alpha.

Johnathon: Great group of guys. I went to UMBC for three years... I still keep in touch. But I’m not a Frat Boy.

Me: I believe I saw you on "Punk'd". Were you the punker or punkie and was it
fun?

Johnathon: I was on for a second. I guess Ashton gave me my fifteen minutes of fame. 

Me: Mr. Schaech, you direct, write an act... what do you like best and what are
you currently doing now?

Johnathon: I got the Poker Club coming out in April. It's distributed by Sony and it's my first project in which I wrote, produced and starred in. Tim McCann directed it and we are excited for everyone to see. Tim has won Toronto Film Fest and Austin Film Fest so it's not your typical DVD release. I'm simply a filmmaker. And I don't idolize Clint Eastwood. I want to be like Clint.

Me: One of my favorite movies of all time is That Thing You Do! Tell the readers
who you played in it. How was Tom Hanks to work for and would you ever do a TTYD
sequel if they asked?

Johnathon: That Thing You Do 2. I’m in! This time I want to be nice to the girl. They smell so good.

Me: A few years ago Vanity Fair nominated you for something. Do you remember
what that was?

Johnathon: I was on the cover with Will Smith and Leo. Nominated for next the new generation of Hollywood’s new leading men. Guess who got the short end of the stick? Me, the beautiful loser!

Me: Tell me about Chesapeake Films. When did you start it and what made you start
your own film company?

Johnathon: Richard Chizmar and I grew up together. He is a writer and publisher. We decided to team up and make movies. Poker Club is our first feature. Our next one will be Stephen King’s From a Buick 8. It’ll go in April and right now Tobe Hooper is directing.

Me: Are you taking submissions for films?

Johnathon: Sure, we just don’t have the man power to do anything about them.

Me: You are working on a movie that comes out next year called Bone Deep, right? What can you tell the Phile readers about it? It sounds like it could be a porno as far as the title goes.

Johnathon: It’s a action movie with Chris Brown, Ti, Matt Dillon, Paul Walker. It's dope and I have a small part.

Me: You've been part of a lot of horror movies, sir. Is that your favorite genre?

Johnathon: My partner is Richard Chizmar. His publishing company is Cemetery Dance. They're the leading independent publisher of horror and sci-fi in the country. That's why. This producer friend of mine Beau Flynn recently said to me people don't realize how many people have come out of the horror genre and become incredible story tellers. And I have to agree. Just take King for example most people think he's a horror guy, but he wrote Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, Stand By Me... it's endless. I've never been in films that were number one in the box office til Prom Night and Quarantine... and in this business it's good to be number one.

Me: Okay, I hear you are studying krav maga. What the hell is that?

Johnathon: Krav Maga is basically an Israeli martial art. You just don’t just strike. You kill.

Me: I also heard you are a big supporter of Obama. What made you go for him and
not McCain? I'm British, so couldn't vote at all.

Johnathon: Obama is a leader and has integrity. We’ve lacked a leader for so long here in the States. I’m excited to see the changes that Obama will bring. He’s brought hope not only for this country, but many people personally. I being one.

Me: Last November I stayed at the Beverly Hills Hotel with my wife and son for five nights and I am now spoilt. Have you ever stayed there?

Johnathon: Never, but have had many successful dates there.

Me: If I come back to California this year can we hang out? Just kidding. You seem to go to all the cool parties.

Johnathon: Let’s go to Le Deux with my buddies, Clifton Sammy!

Me: So, can you tell your friends what a great time you had at the Phile and see if anybody you know would like to be interviewed?

Johnathon: You got it!

Me: Finally, sir, is there anything you would like to plug? I wish you all the best, thanks for doing this, and I hope you would let me interview you again one day.

Johnathon: The Poker Club. This gets released in April by Sony. We’ve gotten great reviews from Variety and such. It stars Johnny Messner, Loren Dean, Judy Reyes, Lori Heuring, and myself. It’s a thriller about four life long friends who play a weekly poker game together.
One night a burglar breaks into Aaron Tyler’s house while they’re playing. And things go really wrong from there. Mistakes are made, bad judgement and ultimately the truth is unraveled. It’s a story of how one lie can spiral into a world of betrayal.

Thanks, Johnathon, I will make sure to check out... what was the name of the movie? Oh, yeah, Poker Club. Well, that's it for the newly revamped Phile for today. The Phile will be back tomorrow with French singer Willy Zeen from the band Ultrazeen. Thanks to Wikipedia and Johnathon. Spread the word, not the turd.