Hey, I forgot to give the review of The Simpson's Movie in yesterday's blog entry. So, I lied, I said the next update will be when I come back from England, but here we are, Friday night, almost Saturday morning. So, here's a special entry. But first... The new host of "The View” is Whoopi Goldberg. Rosie had to leave because of dog fighting. Donald Trump has a new line of bedroom furniture. Apparently he found out there was still some money out there that he didn’t have his hands on. Russia is claiming that it owns the North Pole. President Bush is furious and said, "That’s ridiculous — everyone knows the North Pole is owned by Santa.” Latest on the campaign: It was reported that things are going so badly for Sen John McCain, McCain has to carry his own luggage. Meanwhile, things are going so badly for Dennis Kucinich’s campaign, he has to carry Barack Obama’s luggage. This week, a group of Mexican officials crossed the border into Texas to see how the U.S. handles immigration enforcement. As soon as the Mexican officials arrived, they yelled, "Suckers!” and headed for Los Angeles. In Florida, a man whose name is Harry Potter says that he is constantly harassed by prank phone calls. Potter thinks the calls are coming from his neighbor down the street, Joey Voldermort. The Internet has finally met its match. Elton John. He wants to shut it down. He says it stifles creativity. And prevents real human connection. I think he’s just repulsed by the Internet because it’s full of naked women, and the Peverett Phile. Look out Internet, your reign of terror is over! Kayne West is speaking out too. He says that black people should stop using the word "bling.” He says that only whites and out-of-touch older black people still say it. I don’t know if you know this, but I am white and I have to admit, I get confused about this sort of thing. I just found out it’s not cool to sat "OPP” anymore.
UNLUCKIEST MUSICIANS
Metallica frontman James Hetfield knows the dangers of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. During a 1992 concert, the singer misinterpreted a stage cue and wound up standing right in the middle of a pyrotechnic stage explosion. James suffered severe second- and third-degree burns to his left arm and was unable to play guitar for the last two-thirds of the tour. After his recovery, James tattooed his left arm with a picture of flames encasing four playing cards.
FLORIDA IS BASS ACKWARDS
PENSACOLA, Fla. - A man charged with dialing 911 to chat with dispatchers nearly 300 times in the last month remained in jail Wednesday. Cheveon Alonzo Ford, 21, was arrested Tuesday night and charged with making obscene and harassing telephone calls. He told authorities he began calling 911 because "I have no minutes on my phone and 911 is a free call" the Escambia County Sheriff's Office said in a news release. Ford was being held on a $50,000 bond Wednesday afternoon.
Officers used GPS coordinates from Ford's cell phone to track his location to the west Pensacola home where he was arrested, the Pensacola News Journal Reported.
"His phone service had been cut off and 911 was the only number he could dial from the phone," said Bob Boschen, communication chief for Escambia County. Boschen said many of Ford's 292 calls were sexual in nature. "When he would call and a male dispatcher would answer, he would hang up," he said. "Our policy says that if a caller is belligerent in nature we have to get enough information to process the call and then we can disconnect," he said. Ford never asked dispatchers for help or indicated he was in trouble.
R.I.P.
Michael "Mike" Reid (19 January 1940 – 29 July 2007) was a British comedian and character actor, who is best remembered for playing Frank Butcher in the soap opera "EastEnders". Mike Reid died in Marbella, Spain on 29 July 2007, aged 67 from a suspected heart attack. Two weeks before he died, he had received a full medical examination and had been given a clean bill of health. Irony. It's a killer.
MOVIE BUZZ MOVIE REVIEW
The Simpson's Movie
Starring the voices of Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer, Pamela Hayden. Springfield finally succumbs to the environmental disaster it was always meant to experience. The town becomes encased in a giant quarantine bubble, and guess which donut-consuming character is to blame? The big question on everyone's mind shouldn't be, "Is it funny?" because of course it's funny. This show's been on TV for almost as long as "Gunsmoke", and they know what they're doing. If only 98 percent of all live-action comedies were as anarchic and razor-funny, you know? Anyway, the question should be, "Is it more than just four episodes strung together?" And the answer is a nice "yes." It goes to character, visual and thematic places that the show's never gone to before. Making it bigger really works. For example(s), you see more of Springfield than ever before, the Inconvenient Truthish-ness of the plot is more weighty, and without getting spoilery, the Simpson family members are taken down deeper — and in a few places, almost serious — paths of self-discovery than they've ever ventured into in a 22-minute episode. I know "self-discovery" sounds pretentious and inappropriate when applied to this show's characters, but that's kind of what happens. Don't freak out, though; it enhances them instead of making you wonder why it's happening. Unless this turns out to be like the South Park movie, and by that, I mean a self-contained moment that the show doesn't acknowledge or refer back to, the story here feels almost penultimate, as though it were a way to start wrapping up the TV series. I hope not. American pop culture needs "The Simpsons" to be a nightmare mirror of its worst tendencies. Another movie! Four hundred more episodes!
Okay, there you have it, Phans. Now, the next entry will be posted in two weeks after I come back from England. Until then, spread the word, not the turd.
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