Keepin' It Real

Hello, welcome to the most anticipated blog on the world wide web, the Peverett Phile, where Letterman, Leno and Conan are ripped off. So, this week at Disney World they are having this week long press event, and at Epcot, my place of employment, the focus is the 'Seas With Nemo And Friends' ride. So many guests are coming up to me looking for Nemo, I thought Disney should make a movie based on that, and call it Finding Nemo. Is everyone excited about the Academy Awards? Helen Mirren was nominated for a tremendous role. She plays a stubborn out-of-touch queen . . . I believe it's based on the story of Elton John. How about that Al Gore movie? It received two nominations. Out of habit, Al demanded a recount. Judi Dench was nominated for her role as a mean lesbian. Even if she doesn't win the Academy Award, she has a standing offer to join 'The View'. The other night was the President's State Of the Union Address. He talked about how we could save energy, the war in Iraq, and then he gave a beautiful rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings.” Say what you want about the president, but he didn’t become the president to make friends. He became president because the White House has a bowling alley in the basement. A total of eight people are running for president. It’s George Bush’s fault. He’s lowered the standard. Hillary Clinton, senator from N.Y., has announced that she will run for president. She will be the first female president if you don’t count James Buchanan. Politics is a dirty business. And with Hillary Clinton announcing that she is running for president, Republicans are already digging up dirt on her. And they found out that she once slept with Bill Clinton. President Bush has a plan to fight global warming . . . He’s going to reinstate Pluto. Exciting news in the world of show biz . . . Donald Trump received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. So it’s official: Hollywood is out of stars. Hugh Hefner, of Playboy magazine, is 80 years old . . . and he wants to have another child. Great — something else to piss off Rosie O’Donnell. How long has Rose O'Donnell been on 'The View' now? Already she's attacked Kelly Ripa, Donald Trump, and 'American Idol.' Rosie O'Donnell clearly hates America. With the possible exceptionof hot dogs and apple pie, she hates this country. There are stories now that say Rosie will leave 'The View' to do her own show. Democrats, I guess, want her to withdraw from 'The View' immediately, but President Bush says if she pulls out before Barbara is destroyed, anarchy will rule, and terrorists will win. Lindsay Lohan is in rehab. She checked in yesterday. She's smart; she's getting her rehab out of the way before she's legally old enough to drink. Senator Barack Obama is telling everyone about his past drug use. Pollsters say his candor is now boosting his numbers. So we shouldn’t be surprised to see a video on Dennis Kucinich that says, "Presidential candidate Dennis Kicinich would like America to know that before every speech, he gets ripped on vodka.” O.J. Simpson’s agent says that there are at least three offers from publishers for O.J.’s memoirs. The book will be called "Tuesday’s With Stabbie”. And finally, this weekend the family and I are going to go to SeaWorld to see Sugarland in concert. I am thinking of holding up a sign that says 'Jennifer Nettles, pour some sugar on me.' 

TODAY IN HISTORY

1485: The Chief Inquisitor of the Spanish Inquisition, Peter Arbues, was bludgeoned from behind as he pray inside the cathedral at Saragossa, Spain. A fortnight later blood of the martyr liquefied on the floor of the cathedral -- a miracle! -- and numerous testimonies of healing occurring at his coffinside. The Catholic church canonized this brutal man in 1867. 1947: The infamous mobster Al Capone dead in Florida, his mind in dementia from long untreated syphillis. Capone was Alcatrazzed for eight years of his eleven year sentence for tax evasion, but had to be released due to deteriorating health. 1960: Actress Diana Barrymore commits suicide with alcohol and sleeping pills. 1971: Idi Amin Dada, everybody's favorite tyrant, comes to power in Uganda. 1971: Charles Manson and three of his followers are convicted in Los Angeles of the Tate and LaBianca murders. All were sentenced to the gas chamber, with sentences commuted to life imprisonment when the death penalty was temporarily abolished. 1980: Beatle Paul McCartney is deported from Japan for possession of nearly a half pound of marijuana. It is Paul's third pot bust and his second deportation, an earlier one occurring in Germany 20 years previously after setting fire to a condom. 1990: An Avianca Boeing 707 ran out of fuel and crashed in Cove Neck, N.Y.; 73 of the 161 people aboard were killed. 1993:  Pakistani Mir Aimal Kasi fires a rifle at CIA headquarters parking lot at rush hour in Langley, VA, killing two agents and wounding three others. Kasi wanted to punish the U.S. for acting against Iraq during the Gulf War, and other acts against unspecified islamic countries. 1994: Michael Jackson pays $10M in an out of court settlement to the family of 14 year old Jordy Chandler, who accused him of child molestation. Quote from the affidavit, citing May 1993 as the time period: "That's when the whole thing really got out of hand. We took a bath together. This was the first time that we had seen each other naked. Michael Jackson named certain of his children friends who had masturbated in front of him."

UNFORTUNATE STAR WARS COSTUMES

THIS Death star can't wait for a one-man fighter to maneuver straight down his trench and skim the surface. The target area is a small thermal exhaust port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system.A precise hit will start a chain reaction.

HEROES

The month off was enough for me to start missing the show. Chapter Twelve opens two weeks after we last saw our heroes. Jessica has spent the intervening time pummeling prison guards from the looks of the fearful battered bunch that enter Niki/Jessica's cell in the opening scene. Not to worry, Jessica is concocting an insanity defense. Maybe "concocting" is too strong a word. Niki does have a really strong insanity defense. She and her husband D.L. have essentially exchanged places. Now she's the perceived dangerous criminal and D.L. is the sole protector of their son Micha. Hardly anything has gone the heroes' way during the hiatus. Sure, the Artist came out of his time in Odessa cured of heroin addiction, and is now able to paint without it, but most of the others are still suffering in the wake of previous events. Matt Parkman is back on the FBI's shit list after HRG (Claire's dad) uses the Haitian's ability to successfully block a search of the paper factory that hides the secret hero-buster base. Matt's FBI partner sure is fickle. Hasn't she had enough direct evidence of her temporary partner's psychic abilities in the past? She should have stuck by him again here, but she caves when he own boss comes down of her. Maybe this setback is what leads Matt to finally tell his wife the truth about his power. Nathan Petrelli, after a few pro-forma objects for prying ears, finally gives in and starts to allow, that yes, maybe something bigger than his own reputation is at stake here. NBC picked the funniest moment of the show, the Nathan/Hiro "villain" pronunciation scene, to preview all over TV and the web the past few weeks, but it was still funny seeing it again here in context. All the Hiro and Ando stuff was fun as usual. (So far Heroes has avoided much of the product placement moments that increasingly fuel NBC shows. But this week Hiro makes a pointed reference to the NissanVersa in an issue of 9th Wonders that he and Ando "drive everywhere.") The Artist's rendering of Hiro fighting a dinosaur with his samurai sword (well, samurai scabbard anyway) turned out to be a red herring and a bit of a disappointment. A CGI dinosaur rampaging down Fifth Avenue, or a very long trip into the past for Hiro, would have been over the top anyway. I prefer to forget the dinosaur painting incident, which is a waste of good precognition and acrylics. Simone did roll that painting up to take to the as-yet-unseen Linderman, so we are probably not done with it. Simone says Linderman buys as much of the Artist's work as he can, which surely is another clue the Lindeman knows more about what is going on than the average billionaire. Unless he's just really into comics. Now that most of the cast that dropped in on Odessa has left again, and HRG has used the Haitian to wipe Zach's memory, Claire is more alone and at a loss how to proceed than ever. She even has the time to ask the question that was on every viewer's mind some weeks ago. What the hell does "save the cheerleader. save the world" even mean? I appreciate the nod to the fans, but at this date it might have been better to just to let that one go. I blame the marketing department for overworking that phrase, and I just hope they go easier on "Are you on the list?" So far, they have seemed to. The show is good enough, and popular enough, without overclocking catchphrases. Claire does have the Haitian on her side, as he reminds her, but she has to keep his aid to her secret from her father, who she has more reason that ever to mistrust. So she starts to rebuild her friendship with the now heterosexual Zach. If Peter's dreams are a true indication, The Cheerleader should be getting her butt to New York in the next three weeks anyway. Speaking of New York, Mohinder is back from India and hot on the trial of Sylar. Yeah, he's a little out to the loop. But he's soon brought up to speed. HRG drops in to mess with his head, then apologizes and ask Mohinder to join his hero-containment efforts. Even the very big gun HRG plants on the table doesn't sway Mohinder. So HRG leaves his business card. The name, website, and 800 number of the cover paper supply company are so clearly shown in close up that I'm sure you can guess without even checking that NBC has set up for some online adventure of some kind: www.primatechpaper.com/ (1-800-PRIMA16). Evidently, they're hiring. And speaking of HRG in New York, the dude really does get around. For all we know, he has a teleportation ability, or maybe access to someone else's ability. Peter has a dream similar to his last one, which jolts him back out of that coma the first one sent him into. In the dream Nathan clearly communicates he can help Peter. Maybe by self-sacrifice and flying themselves into orbit? However, once he bolts from the hospital, Peter makes plans to head for the open desert where, he sensibly reasons, an exploding Nuclear Boy will do the least harm. Meanwhile the real Nuclear Man is holed up in a shack somewhere playing with himself, so to speak.
Peter's plane reservation plans are interrupted. He meets an invisible guy (Doctor Who's Christopher Eccleston), who looks to be yet another bad-off fellow who's power is much more a curse than a blessing. I do wonder why the first thing we see him steal is money, though when he can't use it to pay for anything. Poor guy, probably just bored. I'm looking forward to seeing how he and Peter interact next week, as a pair of invisible dudes, and how invisibility can possibly help Peter not become a nuke.

 

 

 

R.I.P.

These are the deaths so far in '07. Sneaky Pete Kleinow: (01/06)Well, he wasn't on anybody's list, so, that's kinda sneaky. Yvonne De Carlo: (01/08) She was 130-something when The Munsters was on, and that was in the '60s! Alice Coltrane:(01/12) Through the looking glass.Michael Brecker (01/13): He was a true pioneer of "light jazz," and without him, there could be no David Sanborn, no Kenny G. Thanks a billion, Mike. Art Buchwald (01/17) Art no longer imitates life.

P.P.T.V.

Three different Foghat links from Youtube.com.

Foghat- Fool For TheCity (live) Live Now Pay Later/ Foghat foghat it hurts me too

MOVIE BUZZ

Spider-Man 4: The folks at Sony would be insane if they weren't already talking to writer David Koepp about a sequel. I'd like to say I'd only see it if they cast Dylan Baker as the Lizard — but, heck, I'll go even if Spidey spends two hours busting guys who spit on the sidewalk.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer: People made a big stink over "the bulge" in Superman Returns. But you ain't seen nothin' yet until you click this.

WALL-E: Get your first look at the star of the next Pixar animated film. Aww, ain't he adorable in an '80s "Number 5 is alive" kind of way? Gray Matters: From the trailer, it seems Heather Graham discovers that she's a lesbian and has sex with Bridget Moynahan. And they say dreams can't come true. (Hey, Spring, if you ever want to do your own blog, Gray Matters would be a perfect name.) Untitled Philip Marlowe Project: Likes to wear rumpled clothes? Check. Perpetual 5 o'clock shadow? Check. Constant three-day-bender glassy stare? Check. Yeah, Clive Owen was born to star as the iconic hard-boiled L.A. detective. Imperial Life in the Emerald City: As if putting us through the wringer with United 93 weren't enough, Paul Greengrass will be directing a movie about the aftermath of the Iraq invasion. I love Paul's movies, but I might need to pop some Valium before this one. Planet Green: Pity M. Night Shyamalan. First James Cameron steals his movie title, and now his next script is getting panned all over town. I'm still waiting for him to write a "surprise" ending where I get the two hours of my life back that I wasted watching Signs. The King of Kong: If you thought making a film about guys playing Donkey Kong might be strange, you might be shocked to hear that there are going to be two of them. I dunno, I was more of a Galaga man myself back in the day. Hounddog, Zoo, Teeth: In the most talked about films at Sundance: Dakota Fanning gets raped, a man dies while having sex with a horse and a girl grows teeth in her privates. If I knew it was going to be more like a disturbing porn convention in Park City this year, I'd have bought a plane ticket months ago. Well, that's it for another entry of the Phile. Thanks to AOL Journals and my computer being screwed up, it only took me four hours to put this little nugget together, so, you better enjoy it. I will leave you with a random pic. Remember, spread the word, not the turd.