I Wanna Talk About Me

We talk about your work how your boss is a jerk. We talk about your church and your head when it hurts. We talk about the troubles you've been having with your brother.
About your daddy and your mother and your crazy ex-lover. We talk about your friends and the places that you've been. We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin. The polish on your toes and the run in your hose. And God knows we're gonna talk about your clothes. You know talking about you makes me smile but every once in awhile I wanna talk about me. Wanna talk about I, wanna talk about number one.  Oh my me my. What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see.
I like talking about you, usually, but occassionally I wanna talk about me. We talk about your dreams and we talk about your schemes. Your high school team and your moisturizer creme. We talk about your guys of every shape and size. The ones that you despise and the ones you idolize. We talk about your heart, about your brains and your smarts. And your medical charts and where you start. You know talking about you makes me grin. But every now and then I wanna talk about me. Wanna talk about I,
wanna talk about number one. Oh my me my. What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see. I like talking about you, usually, but occassionally I wanna talk about me. You you you you you you you you youyouyouyouyou. I wanna talk about me.

Me, me, me, me! Hello, Happy Thanksgiving everybody. Today is my 38th birthday. Yep, 38 years ago today I was born, and I've been a pain in the ass ever since. Yesterday was the busiest travel day of the year. Over 38 million people traveled – and that’s just the people coming over from Mexico. Thanksgiving is a day we spend with relatives. Or as Donald Rumsfeld calls it, acceptable torture. I went down to the animal shelter and adopted a stray turkey. They taste just as good as the other ones. In the December issue of "GQ” magazine Al Gore revels that Bill Clinton does not drink. I wouldn’t have guessed that. He doesn’t drink. Can you believe that? When he was hitting on Paula Jones he was sober! This morning was the big Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Sorry kids no Kramer balloon this year. My wife Jen is a tremendous cook. You know how turkey makes you sleepy? Well Jen figured something outto counteract that. What she does is the night before, she marinates that turkey in Red Bull. Today President Bush pardoned two turkeys at the White House. The turkeys end up a petting zoon in Virginia. It’s the same thing they did with Mark Foley. Fox has cancelled its deal with O.J. O.J. is saying that the title of the show and book was not his idea. "If I Did It This Is How It Happened” was not his idea. His idea was "When I Did It”. Everyone is discussing Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes wedding. Some big news from the reception. Tom serenaded Katie with "You Lost That Loving Feeling”. Katie sang back to him with, "I’ve Lost My Dignity and Will To Live”. A new poll says 60% of Americans believe President Bush is doing a worse job than his father. He was cheered up though when someone told him he was the second best president with the name George Bush. Paris Hilton was singing at a show in Las Vegas and was so drunk she got sick on stage. Vegas has changed its slogan to "What happens in Vegas first goes into Paris, comes out of Paris and stays in Vegas”. The CIA has given up on trying to find Osama bin Laden. They now have a new task of trying to find a Playstation 3. That’s crazy. People are waiting in lines for the Playstation 3. There’s been riots and even a shooting. So now we have proof that video games kill brain cells. People have been camping outside of stores in wait to get a PS3. The sad thing is camping outside of a Circuit City to get a PS3 will be the only time some of these people ever camp. President Bush was in Vietnam. I don’t think he gets it. For example today he called John McCain and said, "I stayed at that Hanoi Hilton you’re always talking about and it wasn’t that bad.” Queen Elizabeth has announced she will visit the U.S. next year to commemorate the 400th anniversary of the Jamestown settlement. The Queen says she expects to enjoy herself as much as she did at Jamestown's 300th anniversary celebration. The other night at an awards show, Michael Jackson made an appearance and he was introduced by Lindsay Lohan. People in the audience kept asking, "Who are those two skinny white chicks?" In Kansas, a criminal was caught after he stuck his gun in his waistband and accidentally shot himself in his testicles. The man was arrested and immediately brought to a woman's prison. A poll was taken about who would be a better parent: Britney Spears or Kevin Federline and only three percent said Federline. Eighty-seven percent said the kids should take their chances on the streets.

ME

Name: Jason Lee James Peverett. Birthdate: November 23rd, 1968. Birthplace: Balem, England (a suburb of London). Current location: Minneola, Florida. Eye color: blue. Hair color: strawberry blonde. Height: 6 foot 1. Weight: Almost 200 pounds. Food: All kinds except red meat and seafood. Candy: chocolate. Number: 23. Color: black. Animal: I don't like animals really. Drink: Diet Coke, or beer. Pepsi or Coke: Coke. McDonalds or Burger King: Doesn't matter. Logan and I normally go to whover has the better kids meal toys. Strawberry or Watermelon: Strawberry. Hot tea or Ice tea: Ice. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate. Hot chocolate or coffee: Coffee. Kiss or hug: Both. Dog or cat: neither. Rap or punk: punk. Summer or Winter: Summer. Scary Movies or Funny Movies: Funny. Love or money: Love, but I LOVE money. Bedtime: Depends on what day. 10 pm usually. Most missed memory: living on Long Island. Best physical feature: my eyes. First thought waking up: how much longer can I sleep? Goal for this year: to get a PSP. Best friends: Jim, Jeff, Pete, Ron and Sharon. Weakness: Too long to list here. Fears: bees, wasps, getting pulled over for speeding. Heritage: English and I am afraid to say...French. Longest relationship: Nine years and still going with my wife Jen. Have I...ever drank: yes. Ever smoked: Cigarettes? No. Pot: yes. Ever been drunk: yes. Ever been beaten up: yes. Ever beaten someone else up: yes. Ever shoplifted: no. Ever skinny dipped: yes. Ever kissed opposite sex? no. How do I want to die: in front of a lot of people in a big disaster. Do I like thunderstorms: no. Do I think I'm attractive: sometimes. My personality ruins it though. Shower daily: yes. Hate anyone: yes. There, a little bit of info about me. Speaking of me, a guest at work sent a nice letter about me. This is what it said: Compliment to Jason Peverett at Innoventions West.  Here's the part about Epcot... The day before our trip was over I feel that one of your CM's did make one of my son's dreams come true.  I'm referring to a CM named Jason, in Innoventions West I believe, where the Robot Race and build your own robot are. The situation was this: We had split from my husband to go and do the robot race one more time before we left for dinner that evening at the Polynesian. We were a bit tight on time, but we were at Disney, they are pretty forgiving about you being a few minutes late for advanced dining reservations, so I decided we could do the robot race. When we approached the area where it begins the CM informed me it would be about 30 minutes until the next race began.  I KNEW it would be about 30 minutes by the time we got through with the race and building of the robot, so I knew we did not have enough time. I politely thanked the CM and explained to my son we did not have enough time, we would have to do it on our next trip. He then started to whimper and the CM told us to go around the wall discreetly and build one ourselves, which we did and that made my son happy! On our way out of the building area we again passed the area where you begin the robot experience. A new CM asked if we were ready to do the race and I told her we had just finished building one.  My son said, "Yeah, can we mom", but again we did not have the time at that moment to do the entire experience and we continued our way toward the exit. Very near the exit (right beside the Kidcot station) my son totally lost it and full out cried. I pulled him aside and started to explain we needed to get moving, we would do the robots on our next trip, I promise! Just then another CM approaches us and asks what the problem was, he got down and asked my son, not me!  My son proceeded to tell Jason what had already happened and he wanted to build another robot! Jason (I know he's from New York, but not the town) says "WAIT RIGHT HERE, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!!!"  My husband enters and asks why we are waiting. I tell him what was going on and in a few minutes Jason races back with a LARGE bag! Inside the bag was pretty much a mother's nightmare - a bag of robot parts!!! Jason told my son he could now build an Army of robots once he got home!!! My son jumped up and down, tears dried and a happy kid emerged! He gave Jason a high five and told him "You are the best Jason!"  That was the most memorable experience we had the entire trip and I want to say THANK YOU JASON!!!!!

Okay, it's official...the ego has landed.

 

TODAY IN HISTORY

 

1910: English murderer Hawley Crippen hanged, after he was caught aboard the SS Montrose attempting to escape to Britain. It was the first use of radio for the apprehension of a criminal. 1963: The first episode of Doctor Who premiers on the BBC. 1968: I was born in London. 1976: Jerry Lee Lewis arrested in front of Graceland in Memphis for public drunkenness, and carrying a chrome plated .38 derringer revolver. 1980: Over 2500 people are killed when a 6.8 earthquake rocks the Campania and Basilicata regions of Italy. 1997: After a minor traffic incident, three Mexican police officers remove taxi driver Jesus Gallegos from his car and beat him. In front of bystanders. Gallegos charred body is found the next day. The three have been charged with homicide.

 

I COME FROM A NATION OF SHOPKEEPERS

 

Bare-chested and fuelled by drunken bravado, he dangles from a 25,000 volt power cable. If he had tried his foolish stunt at any other time, Shane White would have been fried. Fortunately for him, however, he had unwittingly picked a seven minute period when the power was turned off - the first in 15 months. Oblivious to the danger, he leapt from a footbridge and, egged on by a gang of youths, hung from the railwaycable for some time, eventually dropping to the ground only when his baseball cap blew off. His prank was watched by astonished passengers on a stationary train, one of whom took this photo. Opinion was divided over whether White was the luckiest man in Britain, or the most stupid. And the 22-year-old himself admitted: "It was completely and utterly idiotic. I know I’m a fool for doing it." White, unemployed, said he was so drunk on cider and beer that he had no memory of his actions until he saw the picture in a newspaper. He handed himself in to police and was yesterday given a four-month suspended sentence and a curfew order for trespassing on railway property. Outside court he said: "I remember walking through Asda and my missus saying, 'Who’s that nutcase?', pointing at the paper. I realised it was me so I went straight to the police." "When I found out the electricity had been cut off at that exact moment I couldn’t believe it. I won’t be doing this again, that’s for sure." Magistrates were told that power to the cables had been cut between 4.05pm and 4.12pm on August 14 after an unrelated incident further down the track. Trains had been brought to a standstill. Sara Beddow, prosecuting, added: "A train had been brought to a stop one third of a mile short of Tamworth." A passenger saw Mr White take hold of the overhead line. Had the electricity been on there is no doubt Shane White would have died." John Mcgregor, defending, said: "Over the last 15 months power has never been off apart from the seven minutes when he was hanging on." "He was depressed and drunk over the breakdown of a relationship at that particular time." "He accepts it was a stupid and idiotic action but no trains were inconvenienced because they had already been stopped earlier." 

 

UNFORTUNATE STAR WARS COSTUMES

 

 

Copy that, TK563. All clear in the living room too. Over.

 

HEROES

 

The cover of the August 31, 1987 edition of the magazine, that is. Seems that Masi Oka was one of the smart kids pictured on the cover of that issue of Time, the one titled "Those Asian-American Whiz Kids." Oka is on the left, with the blue shirt and the backpack. The story came to light on Monday night's episode of Late Night With Conan O'Brien. Oka was a guest on the show, and Conan surprised the Heroes star by showing him a copy of the magazine. The picture was taken by the parent of one of his friends. Oka went on to work for George Lucas' Industrial Light & Magic, and actually still works there part time (as far as I know). When he started there out of college, he actually had something in his contract about his movie career. Anyone have a copy of this issue? Could be a cool collectible. Everyone rush over to ebay starting right....now.

In an utterly brilliant bit of casting news, George Takei, Star Trek's Captain Sulu, will be playing Hiro Nakamura's father on NBC's Heroes. You can expect Hiro's father to be showing up stateside to bring his super son back to Japan. If you've been watching the series, you know that won't go over too well considering that Hiro is on a mission to save New York City from imploding in five weeks, which - counting reruns - should be just in time for sweeps. Masi Oka, who plays space-and-time-continuum-bending Hiro, told TV Guide, "I just hope I get to say, 'Dad! Sulu is my hero, not you!' The sci-fi fans would love it."

 

MOVIE BUZZ

The Hobbit and The Hobbit 2: Peter Jackson says he's not going to direct because of stupid Hollywood politics. Read: unsettled lawsuit. But MGM reportedly says the matter "is not closed." This could translate as: "Ringers have given us numerous death threats and we are afraid of a geek revolt" or "We're gonna give the job to the Amelie guy."

Fantastic Four 3: Expect Frankie Raye to be introduced in the second installment, but she won't become Nova, Johnny Storm's fiery girlfriend, until the third go-round. You know, I bet they burn up a lot of sheets. That could get seriously expensive.

Zodiac: This trailer is wicked creepy. Now, will somebody please make a movie about the Green River killer? He's the last big-name serial killer without a movie.

Fred Claus: Ever wonder what Santa Claus does the other 364 days of the year? He sits on a couch arguing with Vince Vaughn about the merits of replacing reindeer with dogs.

The Dirt: Rumored for the Motley Crue biopic: Val Kilmer as David Lee Roth and Christopher Walken as Ozzy Osbourne. They'd really blow some minds if they had Roth cameo as Kilmer and Osbourne play Walken. Dude, seriously.

Night At The Museum: You know what's rad? Bitch-slapping monkeys.

And now my reviews of Happy Feet and Casino Royale. Happy Feet: Staring the voices of Elijah Wood, Brittany Murphy, Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman, Robin Williams, Hugo Weaving. I was kind of hoping that this would be the singing/dancing penguin equivalent of David Cronenberg's Crash. That whole movie was just people having car accidents and then having sex. So 90 minutes of penguin-Moulin Rouge would have been fine with me. And it starts that way, but then veers off into all kinds of directions, for better and for worse. Here are some of those directions: They comment on pollution and the depletion of the ocean's fish by humans; they take the main Wood penguin on a hero's journey to stop those humans from de-fishing the ocean, he winds up in a zoo, he loses his mind, he meets a mystical penguin guru, he gives everyone dance lessons, and then real humans are superimposed into the action. It zigs and zags into a lot of different places you're not expecting. Entertaining throughout. But trippy. The Wood penguin looks like Wood. I don't know how they do that. But it's disconcerting. There are at least three scenes in this movie that are genuinely scary. Circle-of-life stuff where the predators seem to leap right out of the screen and into your lap. If you have children under six, and they're not tough-as-nails, then you're going to have some screaming and crying on your hands. There's this scene where Wood's and Murphy's penguins are falling in love and dancing and he freaks her from behind. And if you're an adult, you think, "Wait, did those penguins just do that?" The answer: Yes, they did. Casino Royale: Staring: Daniel Craig, Eva Green, Judi Dench, Mads Mikkelsen, Jeffrey Wright, Giancarlo Giannini. Remember Timothy Dalton and Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan and how suave and dashing and freshly bathed they always seemed? Well, those days are over. Craig as Bond is an egocentric, thugged-out hot-head with a squashed-in mug whose first impulse isn't to invite you to tea with David Niven. He's just going to shoot you in the face. There was a version of this movie made in 1967 and Woody Allen was the villain. As you might guess, it was kind of a Bond parody. This one is nothing like that. In fact, it's a re-booted version of Bond because Casino was the first Bond novel that Ian Fleming wrote. So this one gives you a fresh Bond, one that's just starting his 007 career, one that doesn't have the Aston Martin or a preference in martinis. And he works out, which is something you could never say about Roger Moore. In fact, Craig looks like he just got sprung from the boxing program of some British prison. Danish actor Mads Mikkelsen is the villain here, he's asthmatic, has a weird eye scar and involuntarily cries blood that he's always dabbing with a handkerchief. I am not a big Poker fan, but the Poker game in the middle was pretty cool, except that it kinda dragged. There was no Moneypenny, no Q, no gadgets, and only two Bond women. It'll be interesting on what they do next with the next Bond movie due out in 2008.

Well, that's about it. I am going to have a mug of egg nog before I go to sleep. The turkey is making me sleepy. I'll be back next Thursday, the last day of November. Remember, spread the word and not the turd.