I've been scruff bag, dirt bag, always someones binbag, but never been bono or sting.
However I dressed never really impressed, so they never got to hear a damn thing. I've been bad man sad man certified mad, but never 007 or saint. Trendsetter go getter international jet setter, are just a few things that I ain't. I've been smart arse, mardy arse, on and off a lard arse, but never been a legend to god. New thing dumb thing even last year's thing. Headbang? - not even a nod! I've been left-wing, secure-wing, lost stripes, gained winged. I've never caused a lady to faint. Wideboy, ladyboy, read it in the paper boy. A few things they said that I ain't. Howdy, and welcome to the Phile once again. Tomorrow I go to the doctor's to find out if I have diabeties or if I'mhyperglim something. I will letcha know what happens in next week's Phile.Yesterday President Bush vetoed funding for stem cell research. But I don't know if he gets it. Bush said stem cells may be dangerous especially if people talk on them while driving. A lot of people were complaining today about how long it’s taking to evacuate Americans from Lebanon. Lebanon? Hey, we couldn’t even evacuate Americans from New Orleans. People still talking about President Bush’s use of a four letter word at the G8 Summit. Is that really a big deal? Now if Bush was to use a four syllable word…I think that would be… President Bush had a number of gaffes at the summit. At one point he was seen giving a neck rub to the German Chancellor. You know what this means – he’s drinking again. This week in a speech Vice President Dick Cheney said that either we are serious about this war or we’re not. Of course people weren’t sure if he meant the war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan, or the war against people who disagree with him. Business analysts say that McDonald's is doing really well lately because Americans have to spend more money on gas so they're going to McDonald’s rather than more expensive restaurants. So basically, as Americans have to spend more for oil they're looking to pay less for grease. Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are getting married. They are going to be living in Malibu in a $10 million trailer. They are getting married on a yacht. Pamela not only will be a bride but also a flotation device. A lot of military experts are wondering how the U.S can stop Israel from getting bombed. Israel? We can’t even stop Pete Coors from getting bombed. Did you hear about this story? The Coors brewingcompany CEO Pete Coors had his license revoked after being arrested for drunk driving last may. At least he uses the product! How creepy is this? A Dutch court has given approval for a new political party whose main goal is to lower the age of sexual consent from 16 to 12. Today Michael Jackson was seen shopping for wooden shoes. You know the worst thing about the heat wave across the country. Al Gore walking around saying, "I told you so. I told you so.” If Al Gore’s movie is correct the polar ice caps are shrinking, the ozone layer is shrinking, and the glaciers are shrinking. The only thing not shrinking? Al Gore. Scientists say now that they are very close to developing chocolate that won’t melt. It’s a chocolate you can eat in hot climates. Apparently we’re holding off on that cure for cancer. Let’s get this chocolate breakthrough first. I don’t know if this is a coincidence or not but, Ken Lay died last week. And today hell filed for bankruptcy. Okay, let's get on with this entry.
THERE IS A GOD
Faster than a speeding bullet, comic book superheroes are coming to a post office near you. Batman and Superman, Wonder Woman, Supergirl and a half dozen other superheroes will star on new postage stamps being released Thursday. The new 39-cent stamps and 24-cent postal cards will be made public at a comic book show in San Diego, and will go on sale nationwide Friday. The stamps are sold in a sheet of 20, half featuring the individual superheroes and half showing covers of comic books starring them. The Postal Service reports this is its first set of super hero stamps, indicating more are likely to follow. Characters featured in the stamps are: Batman: Young Bruce Wayne mastered all forms of combat after his parents were killed. He uses his wealth to equip himself with the tools to become the great crime fighter. He made his debut in 1939 and was joined by Robin a year later. Wonder Woman: A figure of strength, beauty and courage, she has been inspiring women since her first appearance in 1941. Plastic Man: After an accident at a chemical plant gives Eel O'Brian the ability to stretch and alter his shape, he renounces his criminal past and becomes the longest arm of the law. He debuted in 1941. Superman: The Man of Steel first appeared in 1938 and has been an icon ever since. Raised in Smallville, the baby from Planet Krypton uses superpowers to battle evil. Green Lantern: Launched with the space age, test pilot Hal Jordan became Green Lantern, a galactic peace officer with an emerald power ring. The Flash: Police scientist Barry Allen is transformed into the fastest man alive in 1956 by an explosive mixture of lightning and laboratory chemicals. Aquaman: The former King of the Seven Seas remains is determined to protect both the Atlanteans and surface dwellers from those who endanger them, using his strength, speed and ability to communicate with marine life. Hawkman: He has artificial wings powered by the mysterious "Nth metal" which allow him to soar through the sky in pursuit of evildoers. He is a master of ancient weapons. Supergirl: Superman's cousin arrives on Earth as an impressionable teenager and eventually becomes his secret weapon. Green Arrow: First appearing in 1941, the Emerald Archer learns his skills while trapped on a desert island. He later escapes to become a modern Robin Hood. The new 39-cent stamps and 24-cent postal cards will be made public at a comic book show in San Diego, and will go on sale nationwide Friday. The stamps are sold in a sheet of 20, half featuring the individual superheroes and half showing covers of comic books starring them.
Big Brother 4 runner-up Alison was the first person evicted from the Big Brother 7 house. Julie Chen revealed the results live and tried to trick everyone, saying, “By a vote of 8 to 2, Danielle—you are safe.” Oh, Julie! Alison took the walk of shame, and outside, seemed repentant, or seemed to realize that soon, Janelle’s fans would be screaming “busto” at her in the grocery store. Of Janelle, who she twice threatened with death, Alison said, “She’s really not that bad, I promise. It’s just the stress.” She added, “I think Janelle’s a great person and a great competitor. … It’s embarrassing to hear I said something like that … I apologize completely.” Alison assisted in the HOH competition, which crowned a single HOH (“this week, we return to the tradition of one HOH,” Julie said). The houseguests were asked a series of true or false questions based upon answers Alison gave during the break. As a side note, before Julie interviewed Alison, some houseguests were gathered around a screen in the house, because it was apparently still showing Julie about to interview Alison. The feed was cut before the interview began, but had producers not noticed, presumably, the houseguests would have heard Alison’s answers during the break. But they clearly did not. Everyone got both the first (Alison thinks Howie is smarter than Will, false, duh) and second (the all-star most likely to wear a bikini made of peanut butter is Kaysar, false) correct. But everyone except Kaysar and Nakomis answered the third question (prior to entering the house, Alison thought her toughest competition would be Erika, true) incorrectly. Both Kaysar and Nakomis got question four (Alison thought the person who would gain the most weight in the house would be Janelle) correct. But the game was decided at question five, which asked if Alison thought Will was the most likely person to seek revenge using a person’s toothbrush in a toilet. The answer was false; Kaysar was correct, and won. But alas, Julie Chen is a twit, she said, “Nakomis, congratulations, you are the new head of household—oh, I’m so sorry! It is Kaysar, my mistake. Sorry, Nakomis.” She said that even though Nakomis’ wheel clearly said “true” and Kaysar’s clearly said “false.” It wouldn’t be Big Brother without Julie being incapable of reading the words True and False, which were even color-coded. Luckily, Julie now gets a week off to learn the difference between the two. On Sunday's episode the first food challenge brought a new punishment food (“slop”; PB&J has been retired) that, coincidentally, the houseguests had to stick their heads into in order to win real food for the week. Kaysar is the new HOH, and way too much time was spent showing us his new HOH room. “The decor is completely different … it’s amazing,” he said. No, what’s amazing is that this is the seventh season and we’re still having HOH bedroom segments to fill time. Later, Kaysar and Erika talked about love. Dr. Will was actually, and apparently non-ironically, wearing a shirt that said “Chill Town.” And this season is officially boring. There was one interesting revelation: Erika admitted that she dated Josh from season one, and said “it’s been hard” and “horrible. … Maybe it was the wrong relationship for me,” she said. You think? When it came time for nominations, many expected Kaysar to nominate Will and others. “I’m probably going to get nominated,” Will said. But he wasn’t, as Kaysar nominated Diane and Nakomis. Now, Nakomis is certainly smart(er than her brother), and anyone who wants to win will have to deal with her at some point. But in week two? What about Dr. Will? Mike Boogie? Danielle? Jase? “I want to get the biggest bang for my buck,” Kaysar said, and said he wanted a “percussion blow.” Alas, dude, you tore your dollar into tiny little pieces and scattered them around, and all you got was basically a weak fart. Hell, even Mike Boogie said it was a “major, major mistake” not to nominate both himself and Will. Kaysar initially said he was concerned that Chill Town would “aggressively come after us” if he nominated them. Later, he told Boogie and Will that he wanted to “weed out some of the stragglers.” Since when did Kaysar make strategic decisions based upon minimizing conflict or targeting the weakest players? Perhaps it was after he gave up the HOH competition last season and proved he wasn’t really a good player after all. And that seems to be what we’re left with: Kaysar’s a nice guy who brilliantly broke up the dominant alliance last season, but since then he’s done nothing but choke. What will happen in tonight's episode?
SEARCH ENGINE
Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:
1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com
2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com
5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com
6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com
7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com
8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com
9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com
10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com
I COME FROM A NATION OF SHOPKEEPERS
Channel 4 is to screen footage from Britain's first 'marathon masturbation' event. Hundreds of sexual exhibitionists – both male and female – are expected to attend the charity event in Central London early next month. A 60-minute documentary, entitled Wankathon, will follow in the autumn. John Beyer, head of Mediawatch, which campaigns against 'offensive' issues in the media, condemned the planned broadcast. obscenity laws 'were always a matter of interpretation'. The Wankathon is the brainchild of the San Francisco-based Centre for Sex and Culture, which holds similar events in the US to help safe-sex groups. Prizes will be on offer for those who have the most orgasms and those who can masturbate the longest –the record is eight-and-a-half hours. Faked orgasms are not allowed and competitors who break this rule three times can expect to be disqualified. However, the invigilators, who will also be naked, have not said how they expect to spot 'fakers'.
BROKEN
The pencil is shaped like a cactus. The eraser is at the end of the outline of the cactus, making the eraser unusable, unless you were to break off the end of the pencil to use the eraser.
SEX TOY OR BABY TOY
Last week's answer: a child's pull toy. That's the last of the sex toy or baby toy quiz for awhile. I hope you enjoyed it, and I betcha can't wait for the next Peverett Phile quiz.
P.P.T.V.
|
Halo: While the script gets rewritten, rumors have Denzel Washington playing Master Chief. He's suitably butt-kicking — the Déja Vù trailer could be his audition reel. Panther: Jamie Foxx is right: There's only one guy who can play the Black Panther, and his name is LL Cool J. I submit as proof the cover of the best hip-hop record of 1989. Well, there we have it, another Phile entry. Don't forget to check out the webshots page at http://community.webshots.com/album/527540184iyFFCs . I am up to 24 pages already. Remember, spread the word, not the turd, and wish me luck at the doctor's tomorrow. I will leave you with another random pic.
|
No comments:
Post a Comment