Hey, how are you? Welcome to the Phile. This sunday the new season of 'The Sopranos' starts. This season there's going to be a few changes. They'll be a lot of cursing and some killings. So, Republicans in Congress want to stop the sale of those six sea ports to that Dubai company even though President Bush supports that deal. Republican congressmen say this issue involves something even more important than loyalty to the president: Saving their own asses on election day in November. It's now believed Iran has the capability to make nuclear weapons but hasn't done it yet. Which could be big trouble, because if there's one thing the Bush Administration won’t tolerate, it’s a middle eastern country that could have weapons of mass destruction, that doesn’t. President Bush flew to New Orleans. There was an awkward moment when the President looked around and said 'Oh my god, what the hell happened here?' Vice President Dick Cheney has donated $2.7 million to the hospital at the George Washington University. He wants to make sure the next guy he shoots is taken care of first-class. Okay, I know, I said no more Dick Cheney jokes. I apologize. There are now more than 1 million lawyers in the United States. Maybe that's what Dick Cheney was doing, he was thinning the herd. Alright. That was the last Dick Cheney shooting somebody joke I will tell. Randy 'Duke' Cunningham sentenced to 8 years in prison. You see, it really is hard out there for a pimp. Hey, did you har about this? Madonna is looking to buy a home in Israel, and today the PLO told Israel 'Okay, you can have the land back.' So, did any of you see the Oscars last Sunday? Do you know what was weird? The winner of this year's best foreign language film got an Oscar and one of our seaports. In his acceptance speech, George Clooney said he was proud to be out of touch, and today George Bush said, 'Hey, me too.' George Clooney won for Syriana, which was about the CIA and what people will do for oil. Or as Dick Cheney calls it, a love story. The Oscars were seen in over 100 countries, two of which don't hate us. Okay, let's get on with the blog.
R.I.P.
Dana Reeve, the widow of Christopher Reeve who worked tirelessly with her husband to improve treatment for spinal-cord injuries, has died of lung cancer. She was 44. Reeve died late Monday, Kathy Lewis, president and CEO of the Christopher Reeve Foundation, said in a statement. Reeve, a nonsmoker, announced her cancer battle last August, just 10 months after losing her husband. Her announcement came at the end of a particularly difficult time, in which Reeve lost her mother following surgery for ovarian cancer, and Christopher in October 2004. Reeve stoically stood by her husband's side after a May 27, 1995, horse-riding accident left the Superman star a quadriplegic. Following Christopher’s death, she took over as head of the New Jersey-based Christopher Reeve Foundation, which works to raise money and awareness for spinal-cord injuries. She and Christopher have a 13-year-old son, Will. No funeral services have been announced. For more information on the Christopher Reeve Foundation, go to www.ChristopherReeve.org. Once again, I say FUCK CANCER.
CANNED LAUGHTER
Q: What do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel testicles? A: Sparky.
A man was admitted to the hospital suffering from premature ejaculation. The doctors said it was touch and go.
Q: What's the difference between a goat and a goldfish? A: A goldfish mucks about in fountains.
Q: How do you make a cat go "woof"? A: Douse it in gasoline and toss it in the fireplace.
Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Right where you left him. function sendform(){document.form0.ref.value=document.location;return true;}
I COME FROM A NATION OF SHOPKEEPERS
News from England. A thirteen year old gives birth. What's a thirteen year old doing having sex?
Cradling the baby she never knew was growing inside her, 13-year-old Charlotte Maddox still cannot believe she is a mum. For months after sleeping with a boy of 15 she dismissed fleeting pains as a tummy bug and thought she was "a bit podgy" because of overeating. Her parents noticed nothing unusual. Then two weeks ago, racked in pain, Charlotte went into labour with baby Sophie - and at last the astonishing truth dawned. Herdisbelieving mother Samantha, 35 - who arrived on the scene as Sophie writhed in pain - shared the overwhelming shock. Today Charlotte, who conceived while she was temporarily in council care, vows to cherish the child she so obviously loves. But she has no desire to see Sophie's father. But Charlotte's dad Troy, 45, is furious and considering suing the council. Charlotte, who slept with the boy twice, returned home in September last year. But she did not tell her parents - who run stables in Paignton, Devon - of the relationship. Over the next nine months her weight hardly changed. The unsuspecting youngster was playing with her brothers and sisters - Thomas, eight, Phoebe, six, Jacob, five, and Tabitha, three - on February, 19 when she gave birth to 6lbs 10oz Sophie. Suddenly, she was hit by a piercing stomach pain. Anxious to lie down, she went inside to rest. Her parents were out of the house. When Samantha and Troy came to check on her minutes later they found her crippled in agony. Dummies, bibs and Babygros now lie scattered across Charlotte's bedroom, replacing the school books and teenage magazines that used to be on the floor. The new mum spends hours cuddling her daughter. Charlotte is too young to receive child support but can rely on the support of her loving parents. The care home has since closed. Torbay Council has promised a full investigation.
And now for
CELEBRITY TRIVIA
George Clooney sometimes sleeps in the walk-in closet of his LA mansion because, he says, "all the bedrooms are too light".
Matthew Perry is missing part of his middle finger on his right hand due to a door-shutting accident.
After Drew Barrymore posed for Playboy in 1995, Steven Spielberg sent a note that said "cover yourself up" along with a quilt and a copy of the magazine with all her pictures altered so that she appeared fully clothed.
At age 10, Justin Timberlake won 1991 pre-teen Mr. America pageant. The following year, he became the first male winner of America's Universal Charm pageant.
P.P. TV
The Muppet Matrix. The Matrix with Muppets. My sister Leila will love this!http://www.magicdonnie.com/themuppetmatrix.html
In case you missed it, the Oscars opening. 78th Oscar Opening
My favorite part of the Oscars. Reese Witherspoon - Wins Oscar Damn, I love Reese.
A British Simpsons promo. The Simpsons - Live Action
SHARPENING AXES
Einstein demonstrated that time is relative. But the rabbit-hole goes much deeper. Quantum physics discovered that consciousness is entangled in matter in some inexplicable ways; but other than the very fast, or very small, or very large, we tend to assume our “ordinary” reality conforms more to the laws of Newton. Simple cause and effect unfolding with clockwork constancy —well, it’s time to shatter this assumption. Let’s stop time. Find a clock with a smooth sweeping second hand. After watching the second hand for a bit, look off to the side of the clock, outside of the box, and about 15 to 20 minutes ahead of the second hand. You should still be able to see the second hand, but you won’t be looking directly at it. Now just relax and see if you can stop the second hand. If it starts catching up to the point you are looking at, jump ahead to another spot about 20 minutes ahead. With very little practice you are extremely likely to make a most remarkable discovery. You can stop time. Perhaps at first for only a second or two, but with practice, you’ll be able to freeze it for longer. If you can’t get it right away, try playing with your focus point, move it further away or closer to the frame of the clock. Or look at one of the hour markers on the clock about 20 to 30 minutes ahead. After you get it, try counting internally. The count you reach is the number of discrete thought processes you performed in zero clock time. Once you’ve accomplished this amazing feat, what does it mean? Some people think it’s just a simple optical illusion, that they merely stopped seeing the second hand which was actually still moving (which gets entertaining with banishing incantations of blind spots, foveal vision, saccades and such.) But if they ask themselves why it started moving again from the point it stopped (and most won’t), their explanation doesn’t quite pan out. Some will just dismiss it as a curious blip that doesn’t really fit into their radar about “reality” and it won’t be cause for further concern. But a few of us will notice the crack between experience and beliefs and want to play. Does it stop sound at the same time? For some people, for others not, which is curiosier still. Maybe consciousness can be more than a passive observer of this “constant” called time?
STRANGE LEGO CREATIONS
Logan and I love Legos. I always loved Legos. So, starting this entry and nine more, I will show you some strange Lego creations.
IF CARTOONS WERE REAL PEOPLE
FAKE OR FOTO
Okay, the last fake or foto picture of the green peppers was foto. Yep, they were real. So, are you ready for another game? This one is self explanatory. Guess if the person in the picture is
DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN
DIRTY PICTURES CLEANED UP
WHEN YOU'RE A CELEBRITY, ADIOS REALITY
Last season on The Amazing Race, we had fun mocking the teams and the crapitude of the actual show. The big question going into the premiere of The Amazing Race 9 was, will it still be as funny even once they start actually racing around the world again? The answer is a qualified, hesitant “yes.” While last season the teams were unintentionally hilarious in their obnoxiousness, the teams this time are, for the most part, self-consciously annoying. Still, it’s definitely better than last season, and there’s just something about this show that makes a lot of what the teams say funny.“…across more than 60 thousand miles,” Phil said, emphasizing the thousand as if to say, “See? The suck is gone already.” And that was confirmed as they headed immediately to Brazil from the starting line in Denver. Okay, I’m officially done bitching about last season. Tuesday night's episode of The Amazing Race 9 was this season’s first one-hour episode, and that helped bring the race back to its roots. The first episode always has way too many “travel to x t o get your next clue” segments that aren’t really entertaining, and last week was no exception. But this episode just trucked along. Between BJ and Tyler’s never-ending quest to be two wild and crazy guys (oh, how wild and crazy they are) and Eric and Jeremy’s never-ending quest to be two girl-crazy guys (oh, how girl crazy they are).
I HAVE A MIGRAINE
Hard to tell the lines are not curved.
TOO MUCH TIME TO THINK
In the last entry I showed you some anagrams that dad and I have done. Here are a whole bunch more.
• Howard Stern: wonder trash
• Frodo Baggins: bad ring's goof
• Sherlock Holmes: heh smells crook
• Robin Williams: I warm billions
• Monty Python's Flying Circus: strongly psychotic, I'm funny
• Steve Martin: I'm star event
• James Marshall Hendrix: hinder lax, harmless jam
• Princess Diana: ascend in Paris & end is a car spin
• Stevie Wonder: er, doesn't view
• Elvis Costello: voice sells lot
• Paul McCartney: pay Mr. Clean cut
BROKEN
Maybe they're trying to cheer you up after realizing your car is gone.
And now, here we go...
MOVIE BUZZ
X-Men 3: The Last Stand: The second trailer has Jean Grey (back from the dead!) going to the dark side, the Golden Gate Bridge blowing up and new mutants galore. You can cut together one good preview for a movie that's gonna stink, but two? No way. I'm finally convinced that Brett Ratner didn't make a mess of the mutants.
Mission Impossible Three: Hypothetical situation: You've got a blockbuster sequel whose villain — a guy like, say, Philip Seymour Hoffman — just won the Best Actor Oscar. Wouldn't you put him in the latest trailer?
Slither: The expletive-filled behind-the-scenes featurette is most definitely not for virgin ears. But if you're a foul-mouthed degenerate, click away.
A Prairie Home Companion: The trailer manages to make an impossibly boring radio show even more boring. Not even Woody Harrelson making jokes about jugs and PMS can save it.
Little Man: I can't tell if the trailer is absolutely brilliant or totally retarded. Wait. Yes, I can.
Indiana Jones 4: Spielberg's taking a year off from directing, so kiss any hope of seeing this slow-moving sequel next year goodbye. Worse, they're rewriting the script. Again. At this rate, Indy will have to be played by the animatronic corpse of Harrison Ford. You know, like in Firewall.
Rocky Balboa: A teaser was online at Stallone's official site for five seconds. But you can find a screen shot and the voiceover text here. It's not a good sign when the suits make the director and star yank the trailer from his own damn website.
Superman Returns: Kevin Spacey says he's signed on for two sequels. Let's just hope Bryan Singer sticks around for both of them.
Casino Royale: The producer responds to all the rumors about Daniel Craig by saying, "His teeth are fine, his driving is fine, he doesn't have heat rash and he's not afraid of the water." Well, glad all that's cleared up.
Hairspray: John Travolta has signed on to star in the Hairspray remake, thus completing his transformation from dancing Broadway hunk to Edna Turnblad reincarnate.
Well, that does it for another entry of the Peverett Phile. I will leave you with a random pic, and remember to spread the word, not the turd.
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