It's The Great Trumpkin, Peverett Phile 2 Pheaturing John Piette From August

Take me down to paradise city, where the girls are green, and the grass is pretty... 

Hey, welcome to the Phile for a Tuesday and Happy Halloween, kids. Here's to stockpiling enough Halloween candy to last until next Halloween. This Halloween, may your Donald Trump wig look just as unrealistic as Donald Trump's. Okay, so, if one more person asks about my Halloween plans I'm going to be the scariest thing they see all week. For Halloween you should go as the person you claim to be on Facebook.

Alright, so, yesterday, the day before Halloween, the president and first lady held a greet and treat for a very substantial line of little costumed kids, handing out candy gift bags and shaking hands. There were little pilots, princesses, a massive inflatable dinosaur, and the costume of the night: Hurricane Response Melania.

The costume had the potential to bring up bad memories for Melania, since it was the outfit she wore after Twitter unceasingly mocked her for departing the White House in four-inch high heels on the way to survey damage from Hurricane Harvey. Then again, Breitbart interpreted the outfit like this...

So maybe it's more of a tribute than anything else. Either way, feel free to read way too into this child's Halloween costume and decide whether it's a bold political statement or a statement of political adoration. Here are points you could use: Bringing up the Trumps' hurricane response in any capacity is an insult. There can only be one Melania. How did no one in that line of trick or treaters dress as Trump? It'd only be insulting if she wore the heels. Seriously, did the Secret Service screen kids with orange face paint? At least she didn't dress as a demon (Steve Bannon). Like, really, not one kid put on a Trump wig for this? Anyway, Trump loved it.
There is a very short list of people who could pull off dressing as themselves for Halloween. The combination of recognizable looks and narcissism it takes to dress as oneself could only be pulled off by a Hollywood A-lister, and this year, Gwyneth Paltrow attempted it. As Paltrow shared on Instagram, she dressed as her own character Tracy Mills from the classic horror film Se7en on Sunday. Check it out...

In the movie, her character gets beheaded, so Paltrow did the damn thing and stuck her own head on a box. Her boyfriend Brad Falchuk dressed as her killer, aka Kevin Spacey, aka John Doe. It's the couple's costume from hell. Fans absolutely loved Paltrow's ode to one of the most iconic horror film scenes, which became an iconic Halloween costume in its own right. The best part of this look? Next year, you can dress up as Gwyneth Paltrow as Gwyneth Paltrow for Halloween.
No matter how hard you tried on your costume this Halloween, I have bad news. Your punny idea or topical joke was topped... by this dog who went as a mop.

Please feast your eyes on this adorable fluffball all stuffed into a mop bucket. "This mop dog is the best thing about Halloween this year," a commenter wrote on Instagram, and I couldn't agree more. The pup's name is Keki, and he got all dressed up for the pet costume show in Covington, Kentucky.
Josh Sundquist is a man who redefines what it means to be committed to Halloween. The author, motivational speaker, and former member of both the U.S. Paralympic Ski Team and the U.S. Amputee Soccer Team has been putting the world to shame with his deeply creative Halloween costumes. Since Sundquist lost his leg to cancer as a child, he's reclaimed the loss to make killer Halloween costumes. As he says on Twitter, "When life gives you lemons, make Halloween costumes."

In 2010, he kicked off his Halloween streak by dressing up as a half-eaten Gingerbread Man. Then in 2012 he got back in the game as the Leg Lamp from A Christmas Story. In 2013, he showed off his athleticism in this Flamingo costume. In 2014 he cleverly turned himself into a Foosball player. Then 2015 was the year of the IHOP sign. And in 2016, Sundquist went as Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast. BUT NOW, PLEASE COMMENCE YOUR DRUM ROLLS FOR THE 2017 HALLOWEEN COSTUME! Are you playing the roll yet?! Is your snare on?! Okay, good, just checking. This year Sundquist brilliantly dressed up as Tigger, with his leg camouflaged as the tail.

This is truly beyond. I'm already revved up to see what he comes up with for 2018. Also, if you noticed the gap in 2011, he DID dress up. He was dressed as Angry Birds, but it wasn't amputee-themed, so he hasn't been recirculating the image. I would say 7 years of killer amputee-themed costumes gives a man excuse to take a year off. In any case, the reward for Most Creative Halloween Costume goes to Sundquist, once again.
As children and parents prepare to hit the pavement for the annual trick-or-treating mad dash, there are plenty of reasonable safety precautions to be taken for the little ones. According to a now viral article from Fox 29, one of the dangers lurking out in the rows of darkly decorated houses is the possibility of weed candies. In lieu of the possibility of little ones getting a high beyond sugar, officials in Gloucester County issued an official warning on Thursday warning New Jersey residents to stay vigilant. "Parents need to be aware and check for unusual candy packaging. If they suspect their child has received marijuana candy they should immediately contact their local police department," said Jim Jefferson, a Liaison to the Addictions Task Force. While it is certainly wise for parents to watch over their little ones and double check for drugs. Anyone who has imbibed is painfully aware of how expensive weed dummies are. Some people are even jealous of the addictive and pleasant dangers the kids are being warned against. While others have heroically volunteered as tribute. Still, some had their finger on the pulse of the real danger of trick-or-treating. Road rage and drunk drivers top mystery candy every time.
So, the last few weeks I have been showing you some terrifying children from horror movies who are now normal adults, as far as I can tell. The last one is actually from a movie I saw. Kyra Collins was the creepy dead girl in The Sixth Sense who pays a visit to Haley Joel Osment after she died from a mysterious "sickness" (SPOILER: her mother was poisoning her). You may remember her creepily vomiting in a tent. What's she up to today? She's Mischa Barton! And she's mostly not haunting people anymore, except for that time she posted a tactless Instagram reflecting on #BlackLivesMatter from the French Riviera.

Also her performance in "The OC," I'll be honest, a little bit scary. Creepiness factor: Keeping an eye on you, Mischa.
Alright, ever go into a public rest room and see something you wish you hadn't? Check this out...

Ugh! Do you like your neighbors? I don't know mine, but if I did I hope I'll never get a letter like this...

So, the other day I wanted to look up "cargo shorts" and b mistake I Googled "corgi shorts" and this is what I got...

Hahaha. All together now... awwweeee. So, if I had a TARDIS I think it would be fun to go and meet Ernest Hemingway. But knowing my luck I would show up when he's taking a bath...

Ugh! Stay in the water, Ernest. So, once in awhile I like to you what actual fans of the Phile look like when they are reading the Phile. Like this poor fucker...

So, do you remember "The Andy Griffith Show"? Do you remember the Halloween episode? No? Here's a screen shot...

That's so stupid. That's as stupid as...

Do you like Cap'n Crunch cereal? There's a new one out for Halloween. Here it is...

Yuck! It's not Throw Up Thursday. so, I get scared easily and being this is Halloween I thought I would show you something very scary...

So, I have been showing you pics of one of my favorite things... side boobs with tattoos and I have one more to show you...

That's the best one yet! Okay, so, like last year I named this entry It's The Great Trumpkin, Peverett Phile... I'm sure you got the pun. The only thing is though I didn't have a picture of a Trumpkin to show. Then my sister Lucy came along... and made this today...

Wait. It looks like me. Lucy? Haha. Anyway, she did a great job I think. So, my son and I were talking about when we used to watch "Sesame Street" together when we were kids. Well, that show is not the same as it used to be.

Visiting the Holocaust museum with his young lover, the Count realizes that Hitler may simply have shared his fetish for anorexic boys.

Haha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know.

Hahaha. Alright, so, you know I'm from England, right? Then you know what I think about the French. So, once again, here's the pheature called...

The #MeToo campaign against sexual assault has gone international. In France, women are tweeting their own stories of sexual harassment under the hashtag #BalanceTonPorc, translated as "Expose Your Pig." But unlike the United States, France is already considering steps to turn this anger into action. French lawmakers are considering a ban on street harassment that would slap cat-callers with a fine. "Proposals are under discussion to fine men for aggressive catcalling or lecherous behavior toward women in public, to extend the statute of limitations in cases of sexual assault involving minors, and to create a new age ceiling under which minors cannot legally consent to a sexual relationship," reports the "New York Times." The government is hoping to iron out the details, such as what exactly constitutes street harassment and how much to fine, in time to propose a method to Parliament next year. France wouldn't even be the first country to institute such legal measures. "Verbal sexual abuse" is a crime in Portugal, punishable by a fine of 120 euros. In Belgium, derogatory remarks can even lead to jail time. While the U.S. government is notoriously slow to enact change... see the gun control debate... the legislation may still serve as an example for American lawmakers. And if not, we can always move to France. HA! That's not gonna happen.

Yesterday, like I said at the top of this entry, President Trump and first lady Melania Trump gave out candy to trick-or-treaters (who presumably had been heavily vetted by security guards, that must've been weird) at the White House. And sure, that may SOUND like a simple-enough task. But apparently no one warned the president that one of these children would be dressed as a T-Rex. And our president apparently has a fossil to pick with T-Rexes. THANK YOU, I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK. Just look at this uncomfortably tense encounter...

Melania, dear, sweet #freemelania, seemed excited and confused upon the T-Rex's entrance, asking "who's that?" (LOL! Not an actual dinosaur, Melania!) And then there's Donald. For some inexplicable reason, when the T-Rex approaches, Donald Trump takes a moment to give the inflatable animal a death stare so intense, you'd think it was Crooked Hillary AND her emails AND Obama hiding in that costume! But... why? What did this kid (or, rather, this T-Rex) do to warrant such an aggro stance from the president? Great questions, me. Maybe Trump and the T-Rex couldn't get along because they're... too similar? Wait a minute, everyone! I know why Trump appears scared of that dinosaur! He’s seen it before!! He remembers all too well The Day the Dinosaurs Came...

Welp, that explains everything. This poor kid probably didn't realize he would ignite a months-old feud between the president and dinosaurs. Because yes, our president can't get along with a species of animal that has been extinct for MILLIONS OF YEARS.

Phact 1: Many shelters won’t allow black cats to be adopted around the Halloween season for the fear that they may be sacrificed or tortured.

Phact 2: In the several cities in Texas, people on the sex offender registry are ordered to keep their outdoor lights off on Halloween.

Phact 3: The only case of poisoning from Halloween candy was a father killing his own son for $40,000 insurance money.

Phact 4: When Ronald Clark O’Bryan was executed in 1984 for the poisoning his son’s Halloween candy with cyanide, a group of college students showed up wearing Halloween masks to cheer on the execution.

Phact 5: The first Darwin Award Nominee was a student, who dressed as Dracula for Halloween. He positioned a pine board down his shirt so he could “realistically” kill himself. He used a sharp blade, which split the wood and killed him. His last words were “I really did it!” as he staggered from his room.

Halloween
Halloween is an annual holiday celebrated by pretending to be the person you're not somewhere other than your resume.

Okay, today's pheatured guest is the lead guitarist and founder of the rock and roll band August whose latest CD "After Midnight" is available from their website augustrockband.com. Please welcome to the Phile... John Piette.

Me: Hey there, John, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

John: Doing quite well, thanks.

Me: August has opened for Foghat, right? When and were was that, John?

John: July 1st, 1981 at the Bayou in Washington, D.C.

Me: Did you get to meet my dad and did you guys get to chat at all?

John: Yes, Foghat has always been a favorite band and I asked to be put on that show to be a part of your dad’s great Foghat show. Your dad held the door open for me as we both came into the club from the street and I broke my own rule by telling your dad that his band was one of my favorites. He was gracious and invited me to his dressing room after the show. We both had a great show and as I was walking by his dressing room there were a lot of people already in there. He saw me over the crowd and waved me in. We chatted for a while and when I made a comment about my band August getting to the big time he looked at me and said, “You are in the big time.” That made my career to have your dad say that too me. I still smile when I think about that moment.

Me: Cool! You're from Virginia, am I right? Is that where the band is located? What is the music scene like there?

John: Yes, we are based in Virginia West of Washington D.C. and close to the Blue Ridge Mountains. It’s basically a rural area with farms, horses and cows. The music scene in northern Virginia and Washington D.C. has not been good for years however, there are wineries and breweries now opening that feature entertainment. Most of the concert venues are gone. Baltimore, Maryland still has a strong music scene and August played a lot in Maryland.

Me: Okay, so... August... is that your favorite month, or when the band was formed? Where did the band name come from?

John: I picked the name because August referring to Augustus Caesare meant to have class and August came out playing rock with class!!

Me: August's first release came out in the late 70s, right? How has the band changed since that first release?

John: I released a 45 rpm record in 1977. The band at the time was a cover band with some local friends. I wanted to become an original band and go for a record deal, so I convinced them to write two originals and we went into the studio. From there I put together another band with more experienced players and recorded the LP record, August featuring John Piette and Friends. From their I hired the first August band to tour in support of the record. We toured 12 years straight with very few changes. With the years of touring, the experience makes a great change in the performance which took us to the national level.

Me: Are you the main songwriter for the band or is it a collaborative effort? August has a new singer so does he get to write lyrics that he's gonna sing?

John: I’ve always been the main writer but I encourage participation with the other band members and if the suggestion works, then we do it. I always encourage my singers to “make the song their own” by putting their style and abilities into the song. I am good at writing to my singer’s abilities and style.

Me: Is your songwriting done mostly on an acoustic guitar, John?

John: Very rarely do I use the acoustic guitar to write. It’s usually my electric guitar. I sometimes like to work with my keyboard player and my guitar to work out an idea I hear. I usually show the idea to my drummer and bass player and we will work it out in the studio and track the basic tracks.

Me: I played the new CD "After Midnight" a few times and thought at first you guys were gonna do a rocking version of Eric Clapton's "After Midnight." Was the song written after midnight and how did it get to get to be the album title?

John: The CD we released in 2015 was titled “Street Smart” referring to the fact that I still own all my songs after all these years which is not always the case with a lot of bands. On this CD we have a lot more of my rocker songs and several we played from my touring days. On tour our shows would not normally start until 10 pm or after and always finished “after midnight." That meant the party would start, after midnight. In the winter time it would be dark when we got up and dark when we went to bed so that part is in the song as well. So this CD represents the fun I had on tour, especially “after midnight," LOL.

Me: I also thought "Runaway" was gonna be the Bon Jovi song. When you write a song do the title, lyrics or melody come first?

John: I can answer yes to all three. It depends but I’ve worked with all three concepts when writing. A title can dictate a melody and vice versa.

Me: I hear a lot of influences in the band's music... AC/DC, Jimi Hendrix, Foreigner... who are yours or the bands influences, John?

John: My early years were Jimi Hendrix and Cream, and growing up this part of Virginia was a southern rock market so the harmony guitars of the Allman Brothers and Johnny Winter made changes on me. Then I heard the Foghat record, “Rock and Roll Outlaws” and it still affects my writing today. Vocal wise, Queen and especially Foreigner blew me away. I got to tell Lou Graham how much I admired his voice and the style still affects my writing styles. And of course AC/DC and Judas Priest are the beat and guitar sounds I like and incorporate when I can.

Me: So, before this "After Midnight" album there was a long gap between music, right? Did the band go separate ways?

John: I took the band off the road in 1999 then pursued my love of recording co-owning an international, state-of-the-art recording studio where I produced over 35 records. I also wrote, designed and directed many video’s during this time. I still do both. My LP, August featuring John Piette and Friends has been selling on the Internet for outrageous amounts so I release a remastered CD version in 2014 to try and stop it. Instead, it renewed a lot of people’s interest in August and I put together the current version to record the “Street Smart” CD. That sold great and received airplay worldwide which encouraged us to record “After Midnight." Now we’re working on a live show and a 40th Anniversary CD that could be released in late 2018.

Me: So, the bands new singer... Jeff Bowers... where did you find him? Did he have to audition?

John: I’ve always enjoyed doing live sound and I’ve worked with many national acts as well as several Presidents of the U.S. Occasionally, there will be a local act that is above average and I will do sound for them. This particular country/rock cover band had Jeff as the keyboard player and one of two main vocalists. In addition to my August song catalog, I also write songs for publishing. I asked Jeff if he would sing on one of my publishing songs and he agreed. When he came to my studio, Dream Traxx to record the vocals, he told me that he wrote and sang rock songs as well. I asked him to sing my newest August original, "I Will Survive You" and the rest is history!!

Me: John, you're a really good guitar player... if you could play for any band who would it be? 

John: Thanks, of course I’d love to have played with your dad and Foghat, I would say I would enjoy playing with Judas Priest.

Me: So, the band all wears black leather and sunglasses... and has a certain look. No bright colors with you guys. Did you come up with the "look" for the band, John? Has the band had that look from the very beginning?

John: Scott, my guitar player and I always wore black leather pants during our August touring days in the 1980s. We enjoyed the 80s and there was always black leather around and I’ve always liked black leather. I like the look and it says a lot without saying a word. Yes, it’s my look.

Me: Okay, so, you have your own recording studio... Rugby Road Records. I take it that's the address of the studio. Do you rent it out or is it just for your music, John?

John: I did own Rugby Road Studio and it did start in my basement which was on Rugby Road. I did a lot of engineering and producing at Rugby Road and had some great national acts come through. This was a public studio. My current studio is Dream Traxx Recording studio and it’s built after the Rugby Road design, live end, dead end. I have offered time to the public but for the past 3 years we have been either recording August songs or publishing songs non-stop. I do offer a good deal and it can be found at its site... dreamtraxxstudio.com.

Me: Apart from Foghat which you opened for August has opened for the B-52s. What the fuck? How did the B-52 fans take to your music? That's a weird bill, if you don't mind me saying. I have been trying to get those kids on the Phile for awhile.

John: In the early days we were one of the house bands for a big concert venue, Louie’s Rock City. The B-52s had a hit with a song called, “Rock Lobster." As part of the deal they had to tour and hold a “rock lobster” dance contest at each show. Louie’s was a real rock venue and they got booked there to do their contest. They didn’t want to stay any longer than required so they asked if they could open for us and of course we said yes. I did watch the rock lobster dance contest. LOL.    

Me: Is there anybody else you had opened for that was cool?

John: John Kay and Steppenwolf were always gracious with us giving us room on stage, etc. We replaced Nantucket on the first Johnny VanZant tours and that was a fun gig. Frank Marino was also an interesting gig. The Foghat was a dream come true... I took a pay cut to get on that show. Actually your dad offered us to stay on tour with them but we were making a lot more than an opening act at that time.

Me: Okay, so, the band has been together on and off for a long time... you must have a regret that you wish you could change and also on the flip side, something that sticks out as the most memorable experience in your career?

John: Since I started August in 1977 until 1999 we changed singers, drummers and guitarists twice. So that is a very low turnover rate for a working rock band. I worked hard for a record deal and Atlantic Records offered me a two record deal. However, it wasn’t designed to make me money or had a lot of guaranteed support. So after all the years of working hard for it, I received it and turned it down. Aziz Goksel was the A&R that made me the offer and agreed I was smart to have turned it down.

Me: Okay, so, what's next for August, John? This is not the last release ever I hope.

John: We are already planning on the 40th Anniversary CD for late 2018 release so we will be recording more. I’m hoping to go live with my new song publishing company before the years end and you will be able to hear all the songs I’ve been writing for other artists. Personally I have over 200 songs in my catalog. We are hoping to play several live events as August in 2018 as well. I’m also looking for talented artists to produce as well.

Me: Nice. I hope this was fun... go ahead and mention your website. Come to Florida to play and come back when the next release comes out. Take care.

John: Thanks it has been fun. I will keep you informed. Hear our songs and watch our video’s at the following sites, you can also buy our CD "After Midnight" at our website store for only $10!!! Augustrockband.com, reverbnation.cvom/augustmusic, youtube.com/user/augustrockband, facebook.com/August-Rock-and-Roll-Band.

Me: Excellent. Great job, John.

There, that about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to John for a great interview. The Phile will be back on Thursday with Phile Alum Graham Wood. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Happy Halloween, kiddos.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Phile Alum Ian Margolycz from The Velvet Ants

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? Okay, so, first I have to correct something that I received a LOT of email about... last entry on Thursday I posted this pic...

And I said, "If I had a TARDIS I would like to go to Kennedy Space Center and watch a space shuttle go up as I never got to see that. But knowing my luck, I'll end up in this crowd in 1996..." Well, as most of you told me it was 1986 when the Challenger blew up. I know that. I was doing my homework in England and listening to the radio when it happened. It was an honest mistake when I said 1996, so I apologize. Okay, moving on... it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, people.  We need you around as long as possible to tell us vetting we're doing wrong, ladies. We love you, ladies. Get checked.
On the heels of the Harvey Weinstein scandal and the #MeToo campaign, more and more women are coming forward with their stories of sexual harassment. Some are devastating, others are disturbing, all are infuriating. But this one, from a woman on Twitter who goes by @JodiesJumpsuit, also has a thrill of victory. Jodie shared the story of her high school teacher, who, shudder, liked to press his genitals to the desks of his female students. Rather than report him or confront him, Jodie took matters into her own hands. She tells the whole story best herself, "I am not the hero of this story, I am merely the one who decided to play a trick," she wrote. "The real heroes are the ones who pointed out what was happening to the rest of the class." Although not everyone in the class (aka the boys) believed that the harassment was planned and occurring, Jodie took it upon herself to resolve the situation or at least get a bit of payback. "The evidence was as plain asa line of white chalk rubbed against the crotch of khaki pants," she wrote. It's like a scarlet letter for perverts. The harassment, to Jodie's knowledge, never happened again, and all the female students lived happily ever after. Just kidding: Most of them probably went on to be subjected to similar behavior, because that's the world we lived in. But at least they got one small, chalk-flavored dose of revenge.
One universally understood truth is that everyone tries to get out of jury duty, that is, unless you're Obama. While the concept of fulfilling your civic duty is certainly a noble one, sitting for hours on end in a room full of (somehow always annoying) strangers to deliberate over a small case doesn't appeal to many Americans. Especially since it forces people to miss work in order to get paid an offensive $17 per day wage, which is honestly a VERY AMERICAN move. ANYWAYS, back to Obama! According to a report from "USA Today" the former president got called into jury duty in Cook County Illinois, and rather than make excuses like the rest of us, a spokesperson has confirmed that Obama's going to fulfill his civic duty. WE GET IT OBAMA, YOU'RE MORE RESPONSIBLE THAN US! Due to his high-profile ex-president status, the Cook County Chief Judge Timothy Evans said officials will take extra precautions to make sure Obama is safe. Legitimate threats aside, he'll probably also need the security to help block all the Chicago area Obama fans from bum-rushing him in the courtroom. While the details and dates of Obama's jury duties are still being determined, people are already loving the idea of the ex-president hitting the courtroom. Regardless of the scale or nature, I have a feeling the public will be closely following this case. And for good reason, how ELSE will we get more sweet Obama GIFs?! BTW, I'm not an American citizen, so cannot ever do jury duty. Makes me sad...
Emily Nash, a junior who plays golf at Lunenburg High School in Massachusetts, won a Division 3 tournament by four strokes on Tuesday. However, she will not be taking home the first place trophy. The Massachusetts Interscholastic Athletic Association allowed Nash, a teenage girl, to compete with the boy's team for the tournament, but said that she would not be judged as an individual due to her gender, and only boys can win the championship. There is all-girls tournament in the spring. Nash told local TV station WPBF that she was not made aware of the rules before competing, "I wasn't aware that if I won I wouldn't get the title or the trophy. I feel like it's a bit unfair." Still, Nash played the same game, all the same tees, out-golfed her male competition. Additionally, this means she will not qualify for the State Championship, but the boy who came in second place (and was awarded the first place trophy) will. The MIAA released a statement amidst the controversy, People were not happy with the statement, especially because it failed to mention Nash by name. In the wake of all this, "Rolling Stone" released an article speculating that MIAA may be violating Title IX, a federal law that stops educational programs that receive federal funding from discriminating based on sex. But at least there is one nice thing... the boy who ended up taking home the first place trophy did offer his prize to Emily, citing that she deserved it over him. "He came over and said he didn't win the tournament, that I did," she told WPBF. "It was really nice of him and respectful." She declined but said she appreciated the gesture.
Halloween is the time of year for pumpkins, candy, horror movies, costumes, and the inevitable bad costume choice. In 2005, pictures of Prince Harry dressed as Adolf Hitler surfaced... turns out that was not actually a good idea, no matter how scary the dictator may have been. Every year, retailers come up with ideas for costumes that are just in bad taste (remember last year's recently robbed Kim Kardashian?)... like this one that was just recalled of famous young diarist and tragic Holocaust victim Anne Frank.

Several people noticed the costume, which was being sold by by online retailers. It included a beret, a bag, and a dress with a "destination tag," which (I think?) is the concentration camp to which Anne Frank would have been sent. At least one person said that this was actually a British evacuee costume, which could also explain this "destination tag." But either way, the costume is definitely being marketed as Anne Frank, no question about it. The description for the costume reads, "We can always learn from the struggles of history. Unfortunately, World War II shook the world in a way that no one could have foreseen. It showed us what true and mettle were. It also created some unexpected heroes, where even a young girl like Anne Frank with nothing but a diary and hope could become an inspiration to us all. We can all learn from someone like that!" I can't imagine what the photo shoot for this one must have been like. The young girl looks "sassy," which is probably a slightly more palatable for marketing than "existential horror." As you can imagine, people were not particularly happy about this costume. After receiving complaints, at least one retailer removed the costume from their site. I'm sure others will follow suit, if they haven't already. True, Halloween is time for things that are scary and maybe even shocking, but costume designers should maybe throw on their ol' thinking caps before manufacturing costumes that are indecorous and more sad than scary. Anne Frank was a real victim of the Holocaust, and should be honored, not made into a dress-up costume. Speaking of Halloween...
So, I have been showing you some terrifying children from horror movies who are now normal adults, as far as I can tell. Linda Blair played Regan MacNeil, the little girl who becomes possessed by a demon in both versions of The Exorcist. There's nothing cute about demon possession. But now, 57-year-old Blair lives in Hollywood where she acts and, according to Twitter, really loves dogs. She even started her own foundation to protect rescue animals. She also loves taking pictures with her fans, and she is a Foghat fan and knew my dad. When my sister Leila was born in the 70s, Linda sent flowers to my mum. And apparently she loved Rick James...

This is the opposite of what a demon would do. Creepiness rating: Probably not possessed anymore. So, ever run into a celebrity out somewhere and what you're wearing is almost like it was planned? It happened to this kid...

I have no idea what super model that is though. So, I went to the book store the other day and there was a children's book that I thought was kinda odd...

I bet it's actually a good book. Man, I don't like scary things, and when I saw this pic I was scared...

Creepy looking Santa. One thing about me is I like to follow the rules, but some people take it his a little bit too far...

It makes sense though, right? So... my son loves to learn about the Civil War, World War I and World War II, so, if I had a TARDIS I would go back to WWII and bring him back this children's gas mask as a souvenir...

That's fucking scary.  Okay, parents, I hope your kid doesn't come home from school with a note from the teacher like this...

So, I was looking up something and instead of Googling "Ryan Gosling" I typed in "Ryan Goosling" and this is what I got.

So I thought I'd share. Haha. Okay, one thing I love is pics of side boobs with tattoos and all this month that's what I have been showing you. So, here's another one...

Alright, Halloween is tomorrow and there's some costumes I am tired of seeing already... like Colin Kaepernick. If you are one of the several thinking of dressing up as Colin Kaepernick this Halloween, don't just take a knee... take several seats. Ha! And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Startling Revelations In The JFK Assassination Papers
5. Lee Harvey Oswald indeed acted alone, as Lyndon Johnson stupidly forgot to set his alarm clock the night before.
4. John-John has been definitively ruled out as a suspect.
3. Afterwards, Ford recalled all Lincoln Continental limousines, on the slim chance the death resulted from a problematic timing belt.
2. The "shadowy figure on the grassy knoll" was a guy pushing a lawnmower.
And the number one startling revelation in the JFK assassination papers was...
1. The whole thing was cooked up by the FBI, Cuba and, of course, Obama.

Hahaha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. It's really easy, and not much of a Mindphuck. Okay, so, my son and I were talking how we used to watch "Sesame Street" when he was little. That show has changed since then, and I don't think for the better.

Big Bird freezes in place as he slowly comes to the horrifying conclusion that one of his escorts as a Downie.

Alright, so, recently I had a guy on the Phile who was fired from his job and wanted to come on and see if anybody would fire him. Well, he asked to come back, and I thought why not. So, please welcome back to the Phile...

Me: Hey, Dindo, so, were you hired for another job after you were on the Phile last month?

Dindo: Yes, I was hired by fence building contractor after Hurricane Irma.

Me: That's great. So, how did it go?

Dindo: Well... after Hurricane Irma, I was paid several thousand dollars to have a back yard fenced in. One month after the job was complete and paid for, a neighbor complained that the fencing was about 2 inches onto his property and that it had to be removed, even though I said it had been done strictly according to a survey he had procured.

Me: Hmmm... so, what happened?

Dindo: Well, Jason, Turned out the neighbor was correct. By the time it was determined, the fencing contractor had gone out of business. So, now I am out of work again. I shrug. It wasn't my fault.

Me: Ugh. Poor Dindo. Well, keep it up, I am sure something will come your way. Dindo Nuffin, everybody.

Phact 1: In 1986, 12 members of a Florida jury got stuck in the courthouse elevator for 20 minutes. The jurors were hearing a case against the Otis elevator company.

Phact 2: People leave pennies on John Wilkes Booth’s grave to give Lincoln the last word.

Phact 3: The recipe for Tootsie Rolls calls for the previous day’s batch to be mixed in with the new batch each day. Theoretically, this means there’s a bit of the very first Tootsie Rolls in every new roll made today. They were created in 1907.

Phact 4: The last words of serial killer Peter Kürten were “Tell me… after my head is chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood gushing from the stump of my neck? That would be the pleasure to end all pleasures.”

Phact 5: Source Larry Fine of the Three Stooges burned his arm with acid as a child. His parents gave him violin lessons to strengthen the damaged nerves. He became so proficient on the violin that his parents planned to send him to a European music conservatory but the plan was thwarted by World War I.

Donald Trump woke up on Sunday, as Justice Department special counsel Robert Mueller prepared to announce indictments in his investigation, and decided to defuse some tension with a simple joke inspired no doubt by Wayne's World. "All of this 'Russia' talk right when the Republicans are making their big push for historic Tax Cuts & Reform," wrote Trump, before launching the joke, "Is this coincidental? NOT." If that doesn't sound quite right, it's because it makes zero sense. Trump wrote it like a question and answer, and no one answers a question by screaming "NOT." It's entirely possible Trump even mean to write "NO" instead of "NOT" and made a typo. It's happened before. But find someone in a Wayne and Garth couple's costume on Halloween tomorrow and they'll be happy to tell you how it should have gone: "All of this Russia talk right now when the Republicans are making their big push for historic Tax Cuts & Reform. What a coincidence... NOT." Jokes aside, Trump continued his Russia rant this morning... by encouraging people not to watch the real news. And yelling about Obama's alleged involvement in producing the pee-tape. I'm sure Donald Trump is being entirely truthful about everything to do with Russia... NOT. See how easy that is? It's the easiest. Back to this joke thing for a second, it's not actually the first time Trump has Trumped himself all over this exact bit from Wayne's World. Last time, Mike Myers commented, "How fantastic... in the true meaning of the word, a fantasy... and weird." Let's hop in a time machine. Here we are in 2016: Please, Donald, hire some joke writers and let them run your Twitter. I'm sure he'll do that... NOT. Okay it's getting annoying. See you at the next indictment.

Mammogram
A mammogram is the only picture of your breasts you should take last the age of 45.

Today's guest is the lead singer of one of my favorite bands I discovered in the last few years... The Velvet Ants. Their latest album, Blacklight Press, is available on iTunes right now. Please welcome to the Phile... Ian Margolycz.

Me: Hey, Ian, welcome back to the Phile, sir. How have you been?

Ian: I'm good, Jason, thanks for asking. Made a move up to Boston since we spoke last. Things are going well up here. 

Me: Cool, so, what’s this you went into the woods and found a bunch of records?

Ian: Yeah. I was walking along a path and saw what looked like stacks of records off to the side sorta covered in leaves and mud. I started checking them out and realized they were all from the 70s and 80s so I took them home.

Me: What were you doing in the woods in the first place?

Ian: I'm an instrument operator for a civil engineering company. So we were out in the woods working on a land survey.

Me: So, what records did you find? Any Foghat?

Ian: Here's a shortlist of the ones that were still legible. There were at least 96 of them. I lost track after that. Album list: The Beach Boys, Joan Jett, ZZ Top, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Van Halen, War, The Kinks, Black Sabbath, The Police, The Stray Cats, The Doors, J. Geils Band, The Cars, Pink Floyd, The Pretenders, AC/DC, Bad Company, Huey Lewis & The News, ELO, War, REO Speedwagon, Cheap Trick, Asia, Aerosmith, The Outlaws, Alice Cooper, Loverboy, The B-52s, Madonna, U2, Foreigner, Guess Who, Three Dog Night, The Clash, Kansas, Genesis, Jimi Hendrix,  And yes, "Foghat's "Live" was in there!

Me: That's fucking crazy. Look at that. How do you think they ended up there?

Ian: No idea really. Kinda strange. The turntable cabinet was nearby but there wasn't a player inside. I don't know why anyone would toss these but hey, one man's trash...

Me: What did you do with them?

Ian: Before I cleaned them up I took photos of anything with a label or cover art still present. The photos turned out pretty cool. Some of them have tiny roots embedded in the sleevework. Others were just a mess but they looked interesting to me so I took some shots anyway. The cleaning process took a while so they ended up in the shower with me for a few weeks. Got to bathe with all these legendary records at my feet. It was like a strange spiritual baptism in a way. Some of them played some didn't, and we're using some for band merch now. Sprayed our logo on one side. So the reverse can still be played if desired. I'm gonna try to salvage whatever's left and see if they'll clean up better. 

Me: All the photographs should be put into a book and you can get your friends to comment about the albums. "Roots Rock" the book should be called. Anyway, I am so glad you came out with a new album last December. "Blacklight Press" is a great album. Did it take you long to write and record it? 

Ian: Well, just between you and I (and anyone online) most of those songs were written already but I wanted to revisit some of them since they hadn't been properly recorded before now.

Me: In the past you released a "Covers" album with nothing but covers... is that something you see yourself doing again or do you prefer to record your own stuff?

Ian: Oh, I'd love to record some more covers! Have a few in mind already. That album kinda happened by accident. We'd just be goofing around or bored at home and eventually it made sense to release some of them. That one’s free to download. Some are better quality than others but I think we've always been a little quirky like that.

Me: "Blacklight Press" has a cover on it, right?

Ian: I almost covered one of Bing's songs called “A Thousand Yards." He’s been on bass for a couple years now. It sounded better with him on lead vocals so I ended up singing back up instead. It’s track 7 on "Blacklight Press."

Me: I think you should do a Foghat cover for the next project... what do you think? Haha.

Ian: Maybe not Foghat but definitely .38 Special!

Me: No, Foghat! I'll pick out a song for you.  So, you're based in Boston you said now, am I right? 

Ian: We are. I actually grew up here. I moved down to Virginia in 1997 and moved up and down the east coast since then but the latest installment of the Ants has been based here in Massachusetts.

Me: I take it you're a Red Sox fan as on the new album there's a song called "Two Sox." What is that song about?

Ian: I actually wrote that one down in Virginia cause I was missing New England. It's also a nod to one of my favorite movies Dances with Wolves. Basically a break up song lyrically though.

Me: I love the opening track "Prop Me Up." Is there a story behind that song, Ian?

Ian: That’s one I had written and recorded for an album called "The Water Street Demos." I'd always liked it and knew I wanted to bring it back to life somehow. I think there are a lot of good songs that don't get the attention they deserve when you're moving from band to band or demoing things. A lot of the time they're just forgotten.

Me: I think you're a really good songwriter... when you write I take it you write on guitar?

Ian: Almost always. Bass is fun too.

Me: What comes first, the lyrics or the music?

Ian: Most of the time it's the music, a riff or chords and then a melody will fly around my head. Lyrics can be a real pain to be honest. I used to love writing but it can be a real task sometimes. That's why I appreciate bands that don't put a lot of words in their music. Unless we're talking about a pop song where they drive a lyric into your skull with unnecessary repetition.

Me: Do you plan when you are gonna write or does it just come naturally?

Ian: I try not to plan it out cause it never works for me that way. Never wanna jinx yourself into writer’s block.

Me: The Velvet Ants is just you pretty much, but with a band...? Does that make sense? Are you playing with the same guys you played with on "Solt Olio" your last release?

Ian: We've had about three major line up changes over the last… wow, 10 years. Started off as a duo. Had a friend join on guitar for the second album. "Solt Olio" had all new players but we stayed a trio. "Blacklight Press" was Bing Quiogue, Jordon Zadorozny and myself. Seems like each album until now had one line up change or another.

Me: I watched the video of you playing at WMEF in Boston and you have a cute female bass player in the band... that's hip. Squeeze has a female bass player in the band as well. Anyway, how do you pick who is gonna be in The Velvet Ants? Do they have to audition?

Ian: Well, she's no longer with us. She was a pretty big fan of the band and that might not have been the best decision on our part. I spent about a month teaching her all the songs and vocal parts and poof! She was gone.

Me: Awe. Last time you were here I asked you if "Solt Olio" meant anything and you said it didn't... but I take it "Blacklight Press" has a meaning, am I right?

Ian: "Solt Olio" had some meaning to it but it was basically misheard Italian. The correct word is actually sott’olio and means: under oil. "Blacklight Press" was gonna be the name of a book of poetry but that never happened so it became the name of the 4th album.

Me: You are currently working on a new album for next year? How far into the writing process are you in?

Ian: We had a list of about 20 songs and 3 covers and now I think we've whittled it down to 13 or 14 songs. We’re gonna demo some stuff here and then head up to Canada next year to record at Jordon's studio Skylark Park.

Me: So, what do you prefer, Ian, writing, recording, or playing live?

Ian: I like whatever I'm not doing at the time! That's a horrible way to be… I gotta work on that. “Be here now”... Okay, I'm back. Writing is my favorite.

Me: You play a lot of shows around the New England area... any chance you'll be playing down here in Florida?

Ian: Would love to do a full east coast tour! And I'll make a note about Florida.

Me: So, when the next CD comes out will you come back on the Phile?

Ian: Of course!

Me: Go ahead and mention your websites and anything else. Looking forward to the new album. Take care, Ian.

Ian: Thanks, Jason, same to you. Velvet-Ants.com.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Ian for a great interview. I love that album. The Phile will be back tomorrow with It's The Great Trumpkin, Peverett Phile 2 pheaturing John Piette from August. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker